Staten Island Dump

On closing the Dump

2011-04-01T23:50:00.000-04:00

"Roll up your windows"

That's what we'd say when we drove by: "roll up your windows." Whether I was with my mother or brothers, or sister, driving on the highway that cut through those huge mountains of filth, we'd all say "roll up your windows" to each other. But it didn't matter. It got in anyway.

The smell. It got in the car. That awful, putrid smell.

I was about 8 or 9 when I moved to Staten Island. I don't remember much about my life, especially the early years, but I will never forget that smell. It got in. Through the vents. Through the doors. It stuck to you. To your hair. To your clothes. It came in waves - sometimes you'd think it was gone, but it came back, stronger, overwhelming.

(I once dated a girl who lived near the thing and the waves that came were awful. It infected everything. It came from everywhere. Like a mold growing in every corner of the house it was ubiquitous and inescapable.)

But we rolled the windows up anyway, on our wood-paneled station wagon, and continued to travel to school, or to Brooklyn, or wherever it was we were going - as fast as we could - and, sometimes, wondered why we came out here, moved out here to (what seemed like) the end of the universe. It was the '80s and there wasn't much down there except long-haired freaks, and we certainly didn't look like them, or fit in there, but we soldiered on. And we kept driving. With the windows rolled all the way up.

And those mountains on either side. Those pulsating hills of refuse. They were alive.

Sure, now it looks like a postcard. But back then, those hills - man, they were alive. Birds, so many birds: swooping down like B-52 bombers, feasting on five boroughs worth of leftovers. A generation of dirty diapers. Carcasses and all. So many birds - seagulls, I guess - just swooped down and ate it up, shatting all over the place as they swept.

There were trucks too. All over the place. Bulldozers, I think they are called. Pushing and piling the mounds of garbage while the birds were feasting. They flew in circles as the trucks plowed, and shat on the windshields and all over everywhere as they swooped.

Fences lined the outskirts of the landfill and plastic bags, random ephemera, just meandered, trying to escape, and smacked up against it and stayed there.

Now they call it a park. They say it is capped. They say it sinking. They say it's not sinking. The politicians sat up on those hills and issued platitudes, and patted themselves on the back, and they called it a park, and said it's not sinking.

They probably got kick backs, money, favors, whatnot. The government contract to cap the entire landfill was probably a few million dollars and I'm sure some of it made it their way. Lining their pockets as the local boys lined the dump with their "impenetrable seal." Everybody gets a piece of the action, the grease the makes the machine run.

But, now they call it a park and they'd like to change the name. They call it a stain. An unfortunate blight on this otherwise pristine place, this place that should never have been sullied with so much for so long. And they say that the stain is removed and it is gone, and we should change the name and move along, and forget it.

But it's there. You can see it. It's hiding. Right there under the cap. Under the "impenetrable seal." It's still there.

And it's still alive, man. So alive. Pumping out methane gas. Years and years worth of dead, rotting, filth. It's pulsating. Tons of it. Right there. Big gigantic heaps, suffocating, trying to breathe underneath that cap.

We can call it something else. We can change the name. We can put a big cover on it. Pretend it doesn't exist. But it's still there. It'll always be there.

As long as we live, work, play in this sacred place it will haunt us like a vision from the past, or loom over us like an impending storm. Or, it will just hide there. Lie dormant. Under the cap. An ever present reminder that we need to "roll up the windows" - fast. We have to stop it from getting in.

Even if we can't. We'll still try.

The Boomerang Situation

2011-03-16T10:37:00.000-04:00

Well, here we go. The following is a fascinating performance by Staten Island's own Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino. The former West Brighton(!?) resident and star of The Jersey Shore was invited, for some odd reason, to appear on TV last night and roast Donald Trump along with other professional personalities and comedians.

It didn't go so well.

The general consensus following the 'performance' by The Situation was that he bombed, not just bombed but tragically bombed. He was, in fact, booed, heckled and almost cut short of his poorly-delivered spiel. Head roaster Jeff Ross even parachutes in to save him at the end. Too little, too late though.

One important note - about the entire show - is that the 'actor' was chided by almost every member of the roast squad before he came on (a regular roast occurrence) so a return of fire was in order. But Mike's aim was not just misguided, it actually boomeranged back to himself.

The following video will probably be removed because, well, it's illegal. But, that's YouTube's problem. Enjoy while it lasts:

Painful look back at Willowbrook

2011-03-02T14:33:00.001-05:00

Last year, the federal government made the unprecedented step of apologizing for the infamous medical study where US government researchers were instructed to "deliberately infect prison inmates in Guatemala with syphilis."

In a joint statement from last October, Secretary Clinton and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius acknowledged and expressed deep regret for the horrific experiments.

"Although these events occurred more than 64 years ago, we are outraged that such reprehensible research could have occurred under the guise of public health. We deeply regret that it happened, and we apologize to all the individuals who were affected by such abhorrent research practices."

But more information and an additional mea culpa may be forthcoming as the federal government just yesterday announced the formation of an "International Research Panel to consider the standards for protecting human subjects in scientific studies."

The request to form this commission allegedly came directly from President Obama himself in the wake of the recent revelations of Guatemala. The primary goal of the commission will be to assess current standards and rules involving the research of human subjects.

But also, the commission will include a "fact-finding investigation into the 1946-48 research" which includes the disturbing experiments done at the Willowbrook State School on Staten Island.

An Associated Press look at old medical journals uncovered the following:

At nearby Staten Island, from 1963 to 1966, a controversial medical study was conducted at the Willowbrook State School for children with mental retardation. The children were intentionally given hepatitis orally and by injection to see if they could then be cured with gamma globulin.

As the AP story mentions, some of these studies were covered by the media, but only with the mention of finding new cures. Some clarification of the facts and an apology for Willowbrook may soon be coming from the US government.

A few words for the teachers of PS 57

2011-03-02T00:41:00.000-05:00

There's a state budget squeeze in capitals all across the country. Everyone and everything is a potential candidate for the fiscal chopping block. Places like New Jersey and Wisconsin have riots literally breaking out over drastic cuts to the salary, benefits, and - in some cases - the very existence of public employee unions as governor's try to close bulging budgetary gaps.

Here in New York, a recent Times piece details the "worst-case" scenario for teacher layoffs in city schools. In reality, the plan to cut 6 percent - or 4,675 - teachers from the city payroll is a dramatic overstatement. As these things usually go, the city will fire much less educators than predicted, and everyone comes out looking like a hero.

But it's sad still, that some people will lose their jobs - these very stressful, poorly paid jobs.

According to the Times at least two NYC schools are immune from the impending budget bludgeon. One happens to be Public School 57, right across from the parking lot of Home Depot, off Targee Street, in the Park Hill section of Staten Island.

From the Times:

About 320 schools would see no layoffs, because they have not hired new teachers recently. Some schools, like Public School 130 in Bayside, Queens, and P.S. 57 in the Park Hill neighborhood of Staten Island, have employed the same teachers for many years.

Who works in this neglected school, in a desperately neglected neighborhood, with mostly impoverished children? And, in addition, who works in this school for "many years"? (A school that has a rating of 2 out of 10 on GreatSchools.org?) Who works there?

Here's what one parent said about the school a few years back on the web:

From what I've witnessed so far, the new principal has been doing a great job. However, the school's test scores speak for themselves. Also, I was quite disappointed to see my daughter come home yesterday with a book from 1964(!)...

Whoever works at this place is doing God's work. Congratulations on keeping your job. We're glad your not getting fired. And we're sorry. Sorry that we have not given you the attention, funding, and support you need/desire/deserve/have earned.

Sorry your school is crumbling. Sorry the guy on Forest Avenue gets all the attention. Sorry we haven't helped. (We don't live that far away. We have a few free hours in the afternoon, I'm sure we could come over, maybe after school, sweep up the lunchroom, play basketball with the kids... something.) The children needs us. The children need you. This is unacceptable. You've been shouldering the burden - a burden no one person should be expected to shoulder - with the lack of resources, and the budget cuts, and the threats of termination.

This doesn't help, though. These words. Just empty promises. Words on a screen. One day, maybe, we hope that we can really do something to make a difference. Until then, we wish you luck and strength.

Mike Grimm attacks Planned Parenthood

2011-02-28T05:39:00.000-05:00

Congressman Mike Grimm joined the GOP's crusade to help balance the federal budget by bulldozing social programs for poverty-stricken Americans (and other random people who just happen to not vote for them).

After an extension of the Bush Tax Cuts by the Obama Administration last year, Republicans have been trying to trim federal spending in conveniently Democratic and liberal sanctuaries.

This time, Grimm teamed up with pro-lifer Mike Pence to vote on an amendment to cut off every single federal dollar to Planned Parenthood and deny much-needed health care and family planning to thousands of women all across the country.

The Pence amendment, which has little chance of actually passing, would deny a myriad of services such as HIV and cancer screenings to women, specifically in poor communities. Manhattan Congressman Jerry Nadler has even deemed the legislation unconstitutional, telling Politico that it targets and punishes a specific group.

"If Planned Parenthood or anyone else is doing terrible things and ought to be punished, that’s up to the courts,” Nadler said.

But, unfortunately for Andrew Breitbart, Planned Parenthood doesn't do anything illegal. The organization promotes health and sexual wellness to women through counseling and treatment - "90 percent" of which is preventive and primary care, not abortion.

Still, Grimm is taking a cavalier stance on this controversial issue.

"I understand the argument," Grimm told NY1. "However, I think that the people of the United States feel very, very strongly that none of their money, no federal funding, should go for abortions or for counseling for abortions. And that's really the heart of the issue."

First off, that's probably not true. Secondly, the only American people you represent live out on Staten Island. You've been in office for two months and you're making decisions on behalf of the entire country for an issue like abortion. Slow your roll, Mr. Grimm.

In addition, Staten Island is not rabidly conservative on social issues. Abortion barely came up in the campaign, if at all. And it's not clear if Grimm is taking this stance on moral or fiscal grounds. So it's likely there will be some backlash against the congressman for his Pyrrhic, symbolic gesture. (A similar move to defund NPR failed last year.)

Even if the doomed legislation was enacted, the rescued federal funds would be paltry in comparison. Planned Parenthood estimated that it received about $79 million last year in the legislative funding (called Title X) which goes to groups that provide abortion.

The war in Iraq cost $3 trillion; tax cuts for rich people $81.5 billion over two years; 13.9 million people are unemployed and Congress devoted a three-hour debate to defunding a successful program and imposing their moral certitude on poor people.

Method Man talks 'Where I'm From'

2011-02-26T15:40:00.000-05:00

Hey, check out this French(?) video of Clifford Smith, also known as Wu-Tang's Method Man, talking about growing up on Benzinger off Jersey Street on Staten Island. Among other things, Meth talks about meeting members of the legendary Wu crew in the 8th grade after moving here from Long Island.

Good video. Great subtitles. Makes us wish we paid more attention in high school French class: "Je me rappelle que RZA etait la..."

Worst parents ever talk to Joy Behar

2011-02-26T11:39:00.004-05:00

What happens when you pretend to abandon your 6-year-old daughter at the 120 Precinct in St. George? You go on the 'Joy Behar Show.'

Below is the mind-boggling video of Annette Gerhardt and Gerardo Santiago, the dipshit parents who had the brilliant idea of using the busiest police station on Staten Island as a method acting studio. The subplot was to terrify their child Enayla until she learned to behave in school.

The West Brighton couple claims they were just pretending to ditch their kid, and were hoping the cops would have nothing better to do and join their dysfunctional family improv sketch. Apparently the police were a little busy. They called The Administration for Children's Service instead.

Oh, and by the way, the Advance points out that the duo was arrested in 2010 when police found a half-pound of marijuana in their Sunnyside apartment. The charges were expected to be dismissed in June, provided the two "stay out of trouble." Good luck.

Notice in the interview with Behar that the mother claims she got this ingenious plan from a friend who did the same thing to her 4-year-old at the 123 Precinct on the South Shore - and it worked. Lady, have you ever been to Tottenville? People would do improv with farm animals.

Santiago also tells Behar that a number of talent agents are interested in working with their child as an actor. So maybe there's a screenplay at the end of all this: 'Honey, I Dumped the Kid (at the 120).'

OMG: Albany's Brangelina

2011-02-25T23:32:00.003-05:00

You guys hear about the latest pseudo-celebrity romance news from Albany? It's the most exciting Staten Island political gossip since Vito Fossella left his family to spend more time with his other family.

It turns out that State Senator Diane Savino is totally hooking up with State Senator Jeff Klein. The story was so juicy that the New York Post called the pair 'Albany's Brangelina.' Get it, because... actually no it doesn't make any sense at all. (In the same piece the Post also called them Klavino, which is even worse because it sounds like a venereal disease.)

Anyway, once the beans were spilled all over the Page 6 gossip column Savino finally fessed up to the Advance.

"He's a nice, white, Jewish lawyer senator. It's hard to beat that combination."

OOOOH! You go girlfriend!

In legislative news, after being crowned 'Albany's Brangelina' New York State lawmakers quickly passed a resolution allowing the lovebirds to adopt 15 orphaned children from Utica and Buffalo.

Budos Band MF Doom mash-up

2011-02-25T01:50:00.002-05:00

Look what we found on the internets! Have you ever heard the Wale song that samples "Chicago Falcon" from the Budos? Well, if not, you should be ashamed of yourself. But even better, maybe, is a similar loop set to the lyrics of the infamous rhyme-slinger and metal mask wearer, MF Doom. It doesn't quite have the same break beat of Wale's track - and is pretty bare bones mash-up - but it syncs up pretty well and it's effin' DOOM, man. It's worth a listen. In fact, we fully endorse this. Enjoy:

Raekwon performs at Stretch & Bobbito reunion

2011-02-17T01:21:00.001-05:00

So Raewon has a new album coming out with, like, a shitload of guests. Ghostface is on four tracks, so it's worth the money. But recently, Rae and Masta Killa showed up at a reunion for the '90s underground radio pioneers Stretch Armstrong & Bobbito at Le Poisson Rouge on Bleeker Street.

Here's a quick video of Rae performing the first few verses from 'Protect Ya Neck.' Stunning. Is there a better cultural artifact to come out of this borough, ever? I don't know - we'll leave that query to the detectives over at Secret Staten Island. Enjoy.

Boro Pres Plays the Victim

2011-02-15T11:36:00.004-05:00

Borough President James Molinaro got all huffy when reporters asked him about a lucrative government position he had probably helped secure for his girlfriend recently because she needed a job:

"No one would be making anything of this if she was dating Joe Blow from Tottenville," Molinaro told the Advance about his girlfriend's fictitious relationship with Joe Blow.

The woman - who has the unfortunate task of making love to a weeble-wobble - will now be raking in $110,000 a year from your tax dollars.

However, a very telling quote came down at the bottom of the Advance piece:

"They are picking on her because she is my girl friend. My grandson would not be spending five years in a maximum security prison if he wasn't my grandson."

His grandson, a thug who couldn't obey a restraining order, is currently serving time in jail. During the ordeal, Molinaro even scolded District Attorney Dan Donovan for handing the case over to a special prosecutor instead of doing the "Staten Island thing" and simply letting his grandson loose.

But, according to Molinaro, this is completely the fault of whoever "they" are - the people who seek to damage his reputation.

Way to play the victim card, Molinaro. Now go back to whatever it is that borough presidents do - oh yeah, nothing.

Local Artist Doesn't Know Shit About Art

2011-02-15T08:54:00.002-05:00

So this artist Scott LoBaido, who paints American flags all over the Island, has a new exhibit or something. Whatever, good luck.

He seems to make a big spectacle of himself and his art work but the underlying substance is pretty much non-existent. He's kinda like the painter of light for Fox News viewers.

It was surprisingly predictable when a local newspaper asked him if his manic fixation with the American flag had anything to do with Jasper Johns' iconic American flag pieces.

"People think because you’re an artist, you know everything about art. Some people can’t understand that a contemporary artist is unfamiliar with others in his field."

OK? Well, you don't need to know "everything about art" but maybe you should know something about an artist who is famous and pretty well-known for doing something extremely similar to what you are currently producing. Ya think?

Anyways, moving on, the artist addresses his "controversial" nature on Staten Island:

"I have my haters because of my expressed opinions. I’m cool with that. Don’t want everyone to like my work or my persona."

Speaking for ourselves here - and that's all we can really do - we don't hate you because of your opinions, as shallow and simple-minded as they may be. If your juvenile political beliefs make some half-decent artwork well, good for you then.

We hate your art because it is tacky and pandering and doesn't deserve anything more than a kiosk at the Staten Island Mall. If you don't understand this then fine - but don't operate under the mistaken belief that we are against your politics because no one really gives a shit what you think about the "ground zero mosque."

White Guns on the South Shore

2011-02-14T09:11:00.001-05:00

A recent report from the Advance shows that Staten Island has the highest gun ownership per capita compared to the rest of the city.

Not surprisingly, these gun owners live predominantly on the Island's suburban South Shore neighborhoods, where deer are prevalent and crime is low.

Some see a correlation:

"Gun advocates are aware of the irony at work here. They point to the perennial pattern in the borough's crime rate, where statistics show the South Shore's 123rd Precinct is one of the city's quietest. It accounts for only 3 of the borough's 43 shooting murders over the past five years. In contrast, the North Shore's 120th Precinct handily leads the borough in gun violence."

But does gun ownership alone account for low crime rates on the borough's Southern shore?

These overwhelmingly white neighborhoods are safer because they are free of conflict, high on home ownership, and consist mostly of one and two-family dwellings.

According to Census results from 2000, the South Shore is monolithically white - 89.1% white/non-Hispanic. Add in Hispanic and Asian and you have about another 9%. That leaves the figures for black non-Hispanics on the South Shore at 0.9% - that's about 1,300 out of the total 152,000.

Compare these demographics to the North Shore neighborhoods which in contrast stand at only 50% white non-Hispanic and 21% black. In addition, owner-occupied homes stand at only 52% compared with 48% rented.

Income-wise the percentage of families living under the poverty level stands at only 2.5% on the South Shore. The North Shore is at 13% - with some Census tracts earning a medium income as low as $17,019.

There is no magic bullet theory to explain low crime rates on the South Shore. But taking in to account the various statistics relating to demographics and income goes a lot further than simply saying that gun ownership alone alleviates the problem of crime.

Relying on guns to explain the discrepancy in crime rates is dangerously simplistic and myopic. This view leads to the mistaken belief that both ownership and carry permits should be allowed anywhere including bars, churches, and political rallies. It's doesn't work - just ask Arizona.

Anatomy of a Backlash

2011-02-09T00:33:00.001-05:00

When the Black Eyed Peas performed during Sunday's Super Bowl halftime show one detail was obviously askew: it was terrible. The over-amplified montage of Peas songs interspersed with special guests and robot dancers was just bad - and everyone agreed, at first.

But a funny thing happens on the way to general consensus, a new phenomenon called backlash/anti-backlash. The initial judgement of spectators and critics feed off each other and form a gigantic wave of disapproval that seems almost unwarranted and misguided. An then, seeking a fresh outlook on the situation, writers reconsider and the reverse happens.

First, capturing the blind outrage of the moment, The Village Voice's Rob Harvilla posted his take just hours after the game, in the midst of the zeitgeist of halftime pop star backlash:

So the Peas wore porno-Tron outfits, don't so much sing as just yell at you semi-rhythmically, have no good songs other than "I Gotta Feeling," and had to literally airlift Usher in just so they had one guy available who could do the splits.

Yup. That pretty much about does it. But this is the Internet, where less than 24 hours later another music writer had - surprise - a different take on the half time extravaganza.

This second writer (at a newly-minted pop music apologist retreat) was posed with a consistent, nagging challenge: how to say something new, interesting, and controversial about a universally accepted truth.

"If You Hate The Black Eyed Peas, You Hate America" sounds like a satire piece, one that intentionally pokes fun by ridiculing music snobs and riding the the anti-backlash wave at the same time. But with stats, figures, and derisive asides the piece plays as a sugar coated pop music apology rather than an insightful analysis.

From the piece:

Crackers don’t like the Black Eyed Peas.

Dumb. And also, not very funny. Reading on...

Much of the vitriol against the Peas returns to the idea that they are not “real musicians and real artists,” in contrast to the Who and Paul McCartney, two previous halftime performers.

Really? Most vitriol I hear comes from well-versed electronic music fans who think the group are just vapid hook-and-meme generators. Sounds more like a wild reach at a counter attack.

There is, of course, some value in re-assessing the other side of an opinion in an attempt to discover any overlooked granule of worthiness in something as clearly simplistic as the Black Eyes Peas. But using multiculturalism and rockist arguments as a crutch without addressing the actual merits is perpetuating this phantom notion that everything has two sides, all pop culture has intrinsic value.

The now-common practice of re-evaluating and second guessing everything breeds an environment where the new Kayne album is not actually good, the president might be a Muslim, and Ronald Reagan is a great American hero.

In the 21st century there are no truths we hold self-evident.

Obama streaker can't get naked for two years

2011-01-30T00:55:00.000-05:00

Remember Juan Rodriguez? He's the 24-year-old Staten Island resident who harassed the President of the United States in his birthday suit with the intention of winning $1 million.

Well, Rodriguez got naked, but didn't get (all) the money, and now he's on probation leaving him unable to get naked in public for at least two years without facing stiff legal penalties. Rodriguez was sentenced on three misdemeanor counts in a Philadelphia court on Friday. At the trial he revealed why Philadelphia was his premiere destination for nude streaking.

"Philadelphia has a history of streaking," Rodriguez said. "I didn't pick Philadelphia out of the hat."

A 'history of streaking?' Genius. He's only set to received about $100,000 of his precious bounty. That should be enough for the unemployed father of three to support his family for about 18 months. Then he could wait six months and streak again. Go for the gold, young man. Go for the gold.

Boro Pres drop F-bomb

2011-01-29T12:38:00.000-05:00

We haven't had much time to post lately but it came to our attention that some people haven't seen this clip and we decided to share it.

It's Borough President James Molinaro doing what he does best - mainly embarrassing himself with his mouth. He apparently was unaware he was on live television and was in the midst of performing his elected duty of cursing someone out. It's not quite the profanity-laced tirade of James Oddo (Google it) but the incident does at least solidify the perception of the Island as a bunch of clueless rubes.

Well done Mr. Boro President!

Grimm start for local congressman

2011-01-18T11:23:00.002-05:00

We weren't big fans of Mike Grimm on the campaign trail, but he is our congressman now and we'd like him to function like a nominally cogent human politician. So far - and, it's only been like 2 weeks - Grimm has stumbled over himself a few times.

It started with Grimm's reaction to the failed assassination attempt on Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. Grimm's solution was to arm members of Congress so next time, more people get shot.

But when "two dozen" protestors gathered outside his office Monday to protest the attempt to repeal health care reform, Grimm responded like a seasoned amateur.

Grimm called the demonstration “nothing more than political grandstanding.”

Mr. Grimm, this is not a campaign, these are your constituents now, you have to at least pretend to listen to them. And, we are not sure if you know this but not that many people out here even give a shit about you or what you do. You should be grateful that "two dozen" people know what your name is.

Congressman McMahon, the person he has replaced, faced a lot of criticism and prostests from people like the Tea Party. But as hard as they worked to block his reelection, he never dismissed them and what they did as "political grandstanding."

That's two strikes on our count, Mr. Grimm. And if you don't come up with any solutions (see health care) but continue your tactics of obstruction you've got a real painful two years ahead of you.

The elusive local angle on Arizona

2011-01-16T23:11:00.001-05:00

By now, every publication and their great-grandmothers have spoken on the horrible tragedy in Arizona, where a lone gunman without a coherent motivation mowed down 13 people during an informal congressional meet-and-greet outside a Safeway in Tucson, killing 6 including a 9-year-old newly elected student council member.

To give the story a local marinade our trusted newspaper posted a piece that includes a statement from the Staten Island Tea Party, and gently dissects their reaction to the tragedy. The question we have is: why?

The local chapter of the Tea Party has nothing to do with Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, or this Salvia-addled lunatic in Tucson. It seems the local Tea Partiers don't even have much in common with the Tucson Tea Party, which is much more concerned with issues such as illegal immigration.

For instance: after the shooting, the Tucson Tea Party has obsessed over any perceived incremental attempt to limit their access to high capacity clips, weapons, bullets, ammo, guns, guns, guns.... Second Amendment "remedies" so to speak. We do not believe this is a specific priority of the local Tea Party, but then again, maybe some one should have asked them.

Instead of focusing on an actual issue - ANY issue - the news cycle quickly devolved into partisan talking points about who is to blame and if all the "heated rhetoric" was responsible for the atrocity. Again, not helping anybody. If we want that argument, we can get it on cable news, talk radio, blogs, NY Post...

By the way, the Democratic "spokesman" also made haphazard connections and allegations in this piece. Just balls of obfuscation.

How could a local news outlet have handled this more effectively? Well, how about asking local political activists whether they align themselves with the so-called "heated rhetoric." And not just mamma grizzly Sarah Palin - whose coded ramblings are not fueling anything except a reality TV career - but people like Sharron Angle, who made the inflammatory statement about "Second Amendment remedies."Or what about newly-elected Congressman Allen West, a man whose chief of staff defiantly declared "if ballots don't work, bullets will?"(This individual has since been "replaced.")

You see, by going to the Tea Party for a reaction on the tragedy there's a mild guilt-by-association brush being applied to the situation. And it's not fair. Do they agree with this rhetoric? Are they members of the National Rifle Association? Are they forming a militia? Assassination squads? Will they resort to "Second Amendment remedies"? If not, then why play connect-the-dots with Arizona?

Then there is Staten Island Congressman Mike Grimm. In the House a whole 6 days, Grimm leaned on his FBI resume (again) to suggest that all members of Congress should be prepared to carry weapons and transform contentious town hall events into showdowns at the O.K. Corral.

Maybe Mr. Grimm should take a look at his more senior colleagues, like Long Island's Peter King - who has reached across that tumultuous aisle to suggest some sensible, though not necessarily enforceable, gun restrictions. Or, maybe Mike Grimm should just take a back seat, keep his mouth shut for the remainder of his first term, and let the adults do the work.

Keep your pants on, Staten Island

2011-01-09T10:27:00.000-05:00

It comes only once a year. Today is the day when dozens of 20-somethings engage is the dumb, pointless stunt of riding the NYC subway with no pants on. Why do they do this? Because it's 'sooo crazy and hilarious, man' - right?

This idiotic "participatory event" is organized the attention-seeking group Improv Everywhere and you can find very detailed instructions on how exactly to ride the subway without pants on their Web site. Because that needs explaining.

Here is a sample:

You can wear fun underwear if you like, but nothing that screams out, “I wore this because I’m doing a silly stunt.”

Unsurprisingly Staten Island is left off the day's itinerary, probably because we don't have a subway. But if anyone finds someone riding Staten Island Railway in the tighty whiteys please take a picture.

Local man Googles 'how to kill my mistress'

2011-01-06T09:39:00.004-05:00

Rosario DiGirolamo pleaded guilty this week to the murder and dismemberment of his girlfriend, Amy Giordano, after investigators found the incriminating evidence in an old Google search.

Amy's body disappeared back in 2007 when the New Jersey man murdered her in a Hightstown, NJ apartment then stuffed her torso into a suitcase before dumping it into the swamp of Clay Pit Ponds in the Charleston section of Staten Island.

DiGirolamo, who had been married to another woman, was reportedly unable to keep up with both families and decided to dispose of one of them. He left their 11-month-old son behind in the parking lot of a Delaware hospital with a note attached.

The note had insinuated it was the mother who abandoned the child.

The evidence that led to DiGirolamo's confession was a Google search executed just days before the killing: "lethal karate blows to the back of the head."

His defense lawyer had maintained the man's innocence up until the discovery of this search on his laptop.

It turns out DiGirolamo did not need to use his newly acquired karate skills. He maintains that the red-headed Giordano came at him first with a "pry bar," leading him to strike her on the head with a hammer.

DiGirolamo's former best friend, however, is expected to testify that he had planned to kill his girlfriend all along because he could not afford the financial obligation of supporting two families.

His friend also says he bought "reciprocating saw, garbage bags and drain cleaner" right before the death.

The guilty plea gives DiGirolamo a 25 year sentence, of which he must serve 21 before parole. If he went to trial he may have gotten life.

As part of the deal DiGirolamo must lead authorities to the rest of his girlfriend's remains.

Amy Giordano was 27, a native Staten Islander. Her son Michael is now 3, and won't be seeing either of his parents any time soon.

New Year's Ferry Fight

2011-01-05T11:55:00.001-05:00

The Staten Island Ferry is such a romantic night time ride, especially on the holidays when everyone is in a thankful, giving mood, love is in the air.... hey, wait there's a fight!

Did a Democratic operative hack into local Tea Party Web site?

2011-01-04T12:44:00.009-05:00

There was a story that came to light Monday about the local Tea Party stepping up into the political realm of Staten Island by infiltrating the Republican County Committee which selects the nominees for GOP ballot line - or something like that.

The move is kind of a no-brainer. The group is just a bunch of disgruntled Republicans anyways, so why not try to replace the current GOPers in power?

Of course they will get a shit ton of resistance from the Island's establishment - but hey, screw them, right? What have they done for us lately?

However, there was one interesting, overlooked nugget buried in the report by New York Observer's David Freedlander, who seems like a real awesome dude.

Here is the excerpt, referring to an e-mail note that the Tea Party was preparing to send out to it's 2,000 (yeah, right) members:

The note has not yet been sent out to Tea Party members. It was discovered on the group's website by John F. Lavelle, an active local Democrat and son of a longtime Democratic power broker. He told The Politicker that he found the page by signing in as an administrator and taking a guess as to what the website's password was.

His first, and correct guess, was "Constitution."

Sounds like amateur hour espionage to us. Weird though that the Tea Party hasn't responded to this blatant form of thievery from an Island Democratic operative. Aren't these the same people who compared President Obama's new health care overhaul to white "slavery" - really. They do have a tendency to bloviate a bit.

Then the Advance ran a story also, without mentioning the whole Lavelle/hacking pseudo-scandal. But wait there's more:

That's a comment on the site, from - we guess - admitted hacker John Lavelle, who wanted Advance reporter Tom Wrobleski to take the stolen bait.

A lot of strands in Duder's head. If only we could find Bunny Lebowski in this mix of bullshit.

Trying to parse this together, and/or decide if it's worth parsing. In the meantime if anyone has unsolicited gossip/rumors/illegal information they's like to send us, go right ahead.

Merry Xmas from New York Rocks

2010-12-23T13:16:00.009-05:00

Waaay back in the vault, we found the New York Rocks Christmas special from 2008. For those of you not 'in the know,' New York Rocks is the greatest community television show from Staten Island that showcases local cock rockers and sub-D-list actors. It's like Tim's Terrible Tunes but with guests. (Props to Mustard Man, Amanda Curtis, and Ginger Shulick for managing to keep a straight face throughout this seasonal episode.) So get the children, fire up the Yule log, and gather around the laptop - it's xmas time.

Staten Island loves Dunkin' Donuts

2010-12-23T11:26:00.000-05:00

Starbucks is for effete snobs. Dunkin' Donuts is for real blue collar New Yorkers.

This is a stereotype, sure, but it's also true - as evident in the annual numbers released as part of a highly detailed yearly survey on retail chains in New York City. Read it here.

A chain store census can say a lot about people.

Staten Island has a favorable Dunkin' Donuts to Starbucks ratio, specifically 30:8 (or 15:4 if you're a math whiz). Compare this to Manhattan, where Starbucks has infiltrated the city like roaches and outnumbers D&D 194:115. Pitiful.

Sure, Brooklyn has a more favorable ratio (126:17), but factor in all those boutique coffee shops and your back in the effete category, at least in Park Slope/ BoCoCa/ Williamsburg/ Brooklyn Heights/ etc../../../../..

Also notable in the annual survey: only one Staten Island Au Bon Pain (in the Ferry terminal); no Chipotle, Five Guys, Pret A Manger, or Le Pain Quotidien.

We don't like that French crap.

The Old Spice guy from Staten Island

2010-12-22T13:41:00.001-05:00

Yes, that's right someone had to do a parody of the Old Spice guy, and it had to be Staten Islander Vinny from MTV's sleaze-fest Jersey Shore. Naturally. This will be a New Year's Eve we will never forget - especially if the Snooki midnight ball drop goes as well as that new Spider Man musical.

Ghostface Killah's Apollo Kids Twitter rant

2010-12-20T10:02:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow, Tuesday December 21st, is the official release date for Apollo Kids, Ghostface Killah's fantastic new album. We heard a copy last night and it's up there with Fishscale and Ironman - maybe not Supreme Clientele territory or even Big Doe Rehab, but definitely better than Pretty Toney.

Anyhow, in anticipation for his new album, Ghost has been hitting the Twitter lately, and last night he went balls to the wall.

The following is a chronological rendering of last night's epic tweet-a-thon where Ghost waxes poetic about women, crack, rented furniture, and Oprah. Yeah, it was pretty impressive:

Hope you all learned something. Get Apollo Kids tomorrow. Wu Tang forever.

Staten Island's 2020 subway map

2010-12-16T18:27:00.005-05:00

Christmas is always full of unrealistic, unfulfilled dreams: a diamond ring, new XBox, full-time job with benefits? Maybe next year. But we can still wish can't we?

Now you can throw a Staten Island subway into the mix. Writing for City Limits, Samuel I. Schwartz ponders a whole slew of public transportation initiatives that can bring New York City's infrastructure into the 21st Century.

He also comes up with the following modest proposal for our (mostly) forgotten borough:

A subway extending into Staten Island

One could go from St. George to the Battery into the T-line. Another could go from Clifton to Bay Ridge to link with the R train (groundbreaking for this subway was held in 1923; let's open it for the centennial). Both would originate from the existing Staten Island Railway. While we're at it, let's also re-establish the Staten Island North Shore Railroad and attach a West Shore link.

Fan-tastic. Not one, but TWO subway lines spewing out of Staten Island.

We got an exclusive look at the proposed subway line, from an artist rendering. A graphic depiction of how the Clifton to Bay Ridge tunnel will operate.

Notice how it will arrive directly at the 86th Street hub and carry a gigantic slice of pizza on the rear car. Look out Bay Ridge, here we come.

2010 Pros and Cons: Grimm and SI Girls

2010-12-16T14:08:00.009-05:00

It's that time of year, everybody!

It's been a busy week, but we wanted to create a Top 10 list, compiling the 'best and worst' of Staten Island for the year. However - as usual - we found ourselves endlessly contemplating the merits of each and every one and then taking a nap.

So due to laziness and/or over-analysis we came up with Pros and Cons - a series of posts that look into the good and bad of this epic and tumultuous year of all things Staten.

Staten Island Girls:

This mini-meme sensation from our Staten shores was probably deemed sad and pathetic by most people who watched it, but we saw some redeeming qualities in this.

The obvious contradiction in this YouTube vid getting over 500K views was that a large percentage of viewers were laughing at, and not with, these young women. We are guessing they intended on making a mockery of the SI/Jersey Shore couture, but being so entrenched and isolated on this peculiar island, the girls gave us a unique insight into the race species that is 'the young locals.'

Like Jane Goodall with the apes we achieved a first-hand social experience with a little known peoples - except the apes (in this case) walked right into our living rooms and sat on our fucking couches. We watched them eat, dance, dress-up, float in a backyard pool.

Bravo Staten Island Girls - you've made a definitive video of 2010. Thousands of words and blog posts would not live up to this. You've earned this PRO.

Mike Grimm:

This guy is our new congressman? He looks like he's auditioning for a B-role as a government operative in the new Jason Bourne movie.

We would love to give Mike Grimm a chance and all. (He was pretty much slimed during the midterm campaign.) But his low point came during a NY1 debate with his soon-to-be predeccsor Mike McMahon when he charged that McMahon goes to work everyday and 'ruins our country.' It was then that we decided that this guy was pretty much a dbag.

He will now be responsible for the millions in federal funding poring into the borough for projects like the re-vamping of the Ferry Terminal and Staten Island Expressway. If these projects are 'ruining our country' we'd like to know what Mike Grimm will do to stop them.

Maybe he will stage a protest and tie himself to the construction vehicles currently clearing brush on the side of the highway. Or, conversely, maybe he will embrace the project that McMahon spearheaded and rename the SI Expressway 'The Mike Grimm Superhighway.'

Keep it classy, Grimm. CON.

Angelina: Jersey Shore to porn star?

2010-12-10T13:37:00.007-05:00

Where do you expect Jersey Shore star Angelina Pivarnick to go for employment? Back to the dental office on Bard Avenue?

Aw, hell no. Radaronline is reporting that Staten Island's serial reality TV show quitter was recently made a $50,000 offer she simply can't refuse. It could make her the borough's first celebrity porn star.

The offer - launched by hot shot celeb sex tape company Vivid (Google it) - requires the production of a Jersey Shore-themed porn movie starring the so-called Kim Kardashian of Staten Island.

In the prospective deal, not only does Angelina get the $50K, but also shares in the profits. Not bad. But, she told Radar that she wasn't likely to take it:

When asked if she was prepared to do the porn, Angelina told RadarOnline.com: "No, I'm not. I'm definitely not."

So what happens now? Are we done with this woman? Has she had her run, or will she stick around and show up at Fushimi for the Season 3 premiere, attracting the local media and SILive video crew?

The problem with Angelina - like others in the Shore cast - is that there is no intrinsic value in what she does, like the 500 dollar bill.

She's not even rich like other, more successful mindless entertainment stars, so the prospect of following her everyday life is not particularly exciting. Unless, of course, she is naked.

Abstract Art and National Lager Day

2010-12-10T12:20:00.016-05:00

It's the perfect gift for mom and dad.

This weekend only, you can go ahead and cross everyone off your Christmas list, without going near the Staten Island Mall.

At the bitter end of Hylan Boulevard one of our borough's finest cultural institutions is holding a holiday art and craft fair - or something to that effect.

At The Alice Austen House you can find vendors with homemade stocking stuffers, doo-dads, binglebots, and bejewelments for all the members of your extended family.

Mom/gf/wifey: feminist collage art. Artsy brother's dorm room: abstract oil paintings. Grandma: handmade mittens. Rover: gourmet dog biscuits. Also, something called typewriter soap(?).

Check, check, check, and check.

Then you can head over to The Full Cup where they are celebrating a little known drinking holiday:

Media Column: Post-racial television

2010-12-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

The election of an African American president was supposed to usher in a new era of post-racial America. It didn't happen. We're still divided; at least in the political realm. Two years of Barack Obama's presidency has shown us that people can still revert to ugly (though, sometimes latent) generalizations about race – even if it takes the guise of an assumed Muslim faith and Kenyan nationality.

But one element of our culture has evolved recently: popular television. A place that once showcased a myopic vision of minorities and homosexuals – reducing these and other groups to gross caricatures and fodder for cheap one-liners – has introduced smart and complex shows with realistic and well-intentioned individuals, who for once can be judged by the content of their characters.

Black characters were once relegated to their traditional role as sidekicks (Daryl from The Office, Deacon from King of Queens) while gay people were simply happy to be invited to the party as something acceptable to laugh at (Will and Grace). Both ABC's Modern Family and NBC's Parenthood offer sober and vibrant examples of the struggles, challenges, and pleasures inherent in fostering a 21st Century extended family, with blemishes and all.

In a recent episode of Modern Family a married gay couple patiently waits in the office of a prestigious private school. As they ponder the chance of getting their adopted Vietnamese daughter into the elite program, they tacitly acknowledge the inherent stereotypes being played out in their ploy:

“Lily’s Asian. We’re gay. In the school admissions poker game, we’re the winning hand.”

Sure, the statement is acknowledging gay stereotypes. But the important distinction is how it’s not we, the audience, who are being targeted. We don’t expect gay couples to play into pre-defined categories and stereotypes. Instead, it is this other entity - the snooty, callow, upper crust of private school acceptance boards – that posses these shallow conceptions of gay characters and gay life. Now we can sit back and laugh at them, instead.

In Parenthood, even the single mother defies the normal typecast. Lauren Graham's character (Sarah Braverman) is not an over-achieving do-gooder, who overcomes adversity to multi-task a family into healthy, fully functioning adult life. She’s a screw up. Not able to hold down a job or a husband, Sarah is even called out by her teenage children for being a less-than-idealistic mom.

As recently as 1993 Vice President Dan Quayle re-ignited an age-old culture war between Washington and Hollywood by attacking the CBS comedy Murphy Brown. The lead character had made the cavalier decision to raise a child out of wedlock. Shocking. This rather benign plot sequence was critiqued as an attack on traditional ‘American’ values. The firestorm was a laugh line for liberals but a rallying cry for social conservatives who regularly dismissed single moms as “welfare queens.”

But, back to the current day. Oddly enough the school application scene appears again this season on the more dramatized Parenthood, where punch lines are not required. A bi-racial, unmarried couple sits in the office preparing to meet their judge and jury. How will they impress the principal? What sets them apart from other parents?

In the ‘90s, Will and Grace epitomized the lampooning of gay culture. With the insertion of two gay characters into popular culture, the taboo subject was finally launched into living rooms. However, it seemed the only way the culture can be included was if all jokes referenced their 'gay-ness' and ancillary homosexual attributes.

“Help, police! I’m surrounded by homos,” an elderly woman screams in a typical slapstick scene from Will and Grace.

Minorities played into well defined typecasts as recently as the 2000s. On George Lopez, the ABC sitcom with arguably the first exclusively Latino American television family, Latino stereotypes were commonly used as a fallback laugh line. George Lopez regularly brings up the poor, uneducated, 'suburban ghetto' mentality of his culture. The Lopez mother is a boozy reminder that they are just one generation away from deadbeat dads and morally ambiguous moms.

The Latino characters on Modern Family are markedly different. The fiery knockout Gloria, played by Sofia Vergara, is the wife to Jay, or Ed O'Neill (a veteran of dysfunctional family television as Married With Children's Al Bundy).

Gloria is not a converted cleaning woman - ala Adam Sandler's Spanglish - but a sassy, and devoted wife. She’s quite a contrast from the inept and awkward characters like Fez from That 70s Show (Wilmer Valderrama), whose broken-English is a built-in punch line.

More notable however, is Gloria's son, played by a precocious Rico Rodriguez. Manny is a pre-teen intellectual. In one scene we see Manny sipping espresso and reading Hemingway. When Jay fires an employee at his factory, Manny hires a lawyer (his uncle) to defend the employee. Jay is annoyed, though nonplussed by the boy's actions.

Far from the underachieving, South American slacker, Manny is quite another caricature - perhaps, of the polar opposite of an expected Latino stereotype. He doesn't steal cars, or write graffiti. He overachieves and surpasses the white characters in his intellectual prowess.

Part this shift toward more complex and diversified castes may be due in part to the advent of cable television. HBO brought such daring, provocative - and ultimately popular - television series’ like The Sopranos and Six Feet Under. The residual popularity of these programs may have caused a ripple effect onto the network sitcoms and dramas.

But a sociological shift has taken place as well. Since 2003 five U.S. state governments have legalized same-sex marriage. In 2005, Texas became the fourth state to have a majority non-white population.

"Whites are on the verge of becoming a minority,” The Wall Street Journal noted in June, “marking a demographic shift that is already reshaping the nation's politics and economy."

The idea that the election of a black president would eradicate all forms of racism was certainly Pollyannish. A traditional segment of the American population will hold on to their beliefs of Country Club exceptionalism. But soon they will be outnumbered. A sitcom with uppity, white sidekicks used specifically for a comic foil may be coming to a small screen near you.

Thirteen's video of The Greenbelt

2010-12-09T00:43:00.002-05:00

Thirteen has a great online project called The City Concealed. It's awesome for people who like to find these bohemian, off the beaten path destinations throughout the five boroughs. They did one on the Freshkills Park Project back in June.

Here they traverse the Greenbelt in all its beautiful, wooded glory. The Greenbelt Conservancy has protected the area from greedy developers since the '70s. It turns out Robert Moses wanted to build a highway through it - just like everything else.

The Greenbelt isn't exactly a New York City Park, but rather a conglomerate of different parks, forests, and camps - or something like that. Pouch Camp was a piece, but 'Boooo' to the Boy Scouts for screwing that one up.

Watch the video:

Road Trip: Kill Bears in Jersey

2010-12-08T11:30:00.005-05:00

Time to go huntin'.

Fill up your gun rack and camouflage gear 'cause we're headed over the Bayonne to Northern New Jersey where the big bear hunt is currently underway.

In an attempt to control the bear population, Gov. Christie has decided to play offense. The state sold $2, 6-day hunting permits to almost 7,000 Jerseyans for this week.

Hunting bears has been illegal in the state since the '70s, so the bear population has blossomed leaving some people to cry foul that black bears were encroaching on their New Jersey lifestyle. There was another brief bear hunt back in '05, but Jersey needed another week-long extermination.

Still, some people protested the big bear hunt. PETA is, like, totally pissed.

Hunters have killed over 300 bears so far, putting a sizable dent in the bear population. But what do they do with all these dead bears? Well, one idea sounds delicious: eat them.

Check out this video from NJ.com of butchers carving up the goods. Yummy.

Video after jump:

Surprisingly cogent homeless man at the Ferry

2010-12-07T23:28:00.011-05:00

What's the intrinsic value of a 500 dollar bill?

It's not every day that you're asked this question at 8:30 in the morning. It's also not every day that you find a rambling homeless man at the Staten Island Ferry spouting off about Obama, the Federal Reserve, and North Korea yet somehow making more sense than Glenn Beck and the entire Tea Party combined.

He started off by singing a word for word rendition of 'My Favorite Things' before launching into this epic diatribe.

I'm not sure what the point is. But I'm pretty sure there's one in there somewhere. It's a palpable mix conspiracy theorizing and anti-government angst. He also tried to explain why the Ferries are orange and black (something to do with the Dutch, don't remember.)

Notice the meticulous attention the detail, the honest self-awareness, and the uncanny ability to string complete sentences together in an apparently random ad lib. This guy has a bright future at Fox News.

Video after jump:

Wait, there's more:

Ghostface Killah: 'Beats is like women'

2010-12-06T22:44:00.005-05:00

Most of us will have to wait a few weeks to hear more nuggets of wisdom from Staten Island's most successful rap artist: Ghostface Killah.

Ghost (aka Tony Starks) will release Apollo Kids on December 21st. The album will probably be better than his last album (the R&B-inspired Ghostdini: Wizard of Poetry in Emerald City) but not as good as his classic Supreme Clientele. We're hoping it is somewhere between Pretty Toney and Big Doe Rehab.

But more importantly, what sorts of classic lines will Ghost give us. This is the dude who spit out lyrics like: "Remember when I longdicked you, and broke your ovary?"

Well, anyways here is a video of Ghostdeini laying down some wisdom and a track for Apollo Kids -with the winner of some Red Bull contest.

Ghost on the importance of good beats:

"Beats is like women," he says. "He might be a good MC, but look at the music he chose. His girls is messed up."

The beat is not bad, a very Wu-Tang appropriate. Scroll after the video for a tracklist and guest appearances for Apollo Kids.

Apollo Kids tracklist:

1. Purified Thoughts (feat. GZA & Killah Priest)
2. Superstar (feat. Busta Rhymes)
3. Black Tequila (feat. Cappadonna & Trife)
4. Drama (feat. Joell Ortiz & Game)
5. 2getha Baby
6. Starkology
7. In Tha Park (feat. Black Thought)
8. Handcuffin' Them Hoes (feat. Jim Jones)
9. Street Bullies (feat. Sheek Louch, Wiggs & Sungod)
10. Ghetto (feat. Raekwon, Cappadonna & U-God)
11. Troublemakers (feat. Raekwon, Method Man & Redman)
12. Rockbox
13. How You Like Me Baby (feat. Fabolous) (Bonus Track)

One last bet on OTB

2010-12-05T21:06:00.001-05:00

How much longer can OTB survive?

"They'll let us know Tuesday, one way or the other," the cashier said.

She sat behind a glass partition at the OTB in the Elm Park section of Staten Island. My ear was pressed up against a small metal grate in the window, trying to listen.

The woman had been perched on her stool for years, taking bets from methadone addicts, Social Security recipients, and 30-year-old graduate students trying to fill a curiosity and professional requirement.

How long had she worked there?

"Too long," she said with a slight smile and air of resignation.

Her career might come to a sudden and abrupt end this week unless the State Senate can vote on a last minute rescue package to save the 50 betting parlors across New York. OTB could be gone for good.

It's hard to imagine an outer borough without Off Track Betting. The institution has been around since the '70s when the government decided to take a commission from a favorite vice of immigrant communities: gambling.

Sal from 91st Street doesn't take wagers on horses and numbers anymore. Uncle Sam is the bookie.

When I was 9 my grandfather, suffering from emphysema, regularly rolled his oxygen tank into the Bay Ridge branch to place 2 dollar bets. Nostalgia. I put my money on a 10-7-2 trifecta (win, place, show) for a race in the Calder Course and Casino in Southern Florida.

The horses trotted out to the gate. We huddled under the screen in our coats. It was sunny, and looked warm, at Calder. I wanted to be there, for just three minutes. Away from ticket-strewn floor, 40 degree weather, and tobacco scented vestibule. Sipping pina coladas at Calder Casino.

And they're off. The 7 was far out in front. 10 was right behind. But, the 2? Where's the 2? What about the 2? C'mon 2. Where's the fucking 2!?

The race ended. People mumbled numbers to themselves and waddled away. A man near the exit nervously rifled through a garbage can.

I'm glad someone was looking. It had to be in there somewhere: the answer to OTB's problems, the solution to fixing our state government, and... the winning ticket. It was all crammed in that full-to-the-brim garbage pail.

No, wait - it's just crumpled up paper and Styrofoam cups from the Dunkin Donuts across the street. It turns out the only people making money in this place are sitting behind the glass partition.

There are no lessons in this place. I made my donation. I'm leaving.

What's up with the floating Xmas tree?

2010-12-03T14:54:00.008-05:00

We were driving on that beautiful, but barren, stretch of waterfront parallel to Bay Street when we saw (what looked like) a mysterious floating Christmas tree.

Because of unnamed impediment (read: laziness) we didn't take a pic, but thanks to @GirlontheFerry we now have visual proof of this holiday miracle.

Driving by, we thought the 'tree' was placed on a dock, but the image clearly shows water between us and the ornament. Weird. Who put it there? How does it float? (cue: double rainbow) What does it mean? The world may never know.

Area of detail (in case anyone wants to swim out there and check it out):

Welcome Walter Schreifels to Cargo Cafe

2010-12-03T13:25:00.001-05:00

Walter Schreifels (the dude from seminal hardcore band Gorilla Biscuits, influential '90s pre-emo power group Quicksand, and also Rival Schools) will be visiting Staten Island for the first time Saturday night.

Give him a nice welcome. It's not everyday we get a legendary musician playing a small venue on Bay Street.

The show is at Cargo Cafe. 8 bucks. Pablo and The Amber Jets are opening. DJ Mike Spinella is, well, DJing. It's a no-brainer.

There's really not much else to say except some people have bitched about the cover charge. Get over it. Some adults need to earn a living.

For the younger folks: the dude opened for Weezer. How awesome is that?

Leland Sundries at the Staten Island Tugboat Graveyard

2010-11-30T12:03:00.000-05:00

Check out this video of Brooklynite band Leland Sundries. Nick Loss-Eaton, the man behind the band, drives over the Verrazano to escape the seepage of the Newtown Creek and frolic in the bucolic marshes of Staten Island.

Dude even takes a canoe and traverses the tugboat graveyard. Great visuals. Nice Leonard Cohen-esque song. Where is this shit, anyways? Need to hang out on the abandoned docks more.

Deconstructing Kanye's Fantasy

2010-11-28T10:55:00.007-05:00

This week America grappled with the gargantuan task of setting aside Kanye West's epic douchery and attempting to appreciate his fantastic new album entirely on its own merits. Not easy.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was released on Tuesday with the predictable fanfare and rave reviews expected for our generation's most revered megalomaniac.

Fantasy is a pop album. A meticulous, triumphant pop album - with, sometimes, pitiful lyrics. But instead of borrowing from musical past to regurgitate his own version of Thriller, West takes some of today's more successful musical tropes, then uses broad strokes to apply each one to his own inchoate repertory.

It's this collage method that helps Kanye craft a pop album more successfully than contemporary crossover rap stars. Lil Wayne rode mixtape madness to the top of the charts. However, when Weezy strapped on a guitar for Rebirth, the results were met with mild derision and ample head scratching.

Kanye places a funky guitar riff into "Gorgeous" with the deft skill of a veteran producer. The saucy lick drips all over the track without sounding forced or haphazard. He may not play the instrument, but he knows exactly where to put it.

I suppose one would point to Jay Z - an artist who attempted to turn his rhymes into a new American songbook - as the most ambitious hip-hop 'pop' star these days. But although Jay's "Empire State of Mind" has an indelible hook, the song's ubiquity is wearing thin and may soon be relegated to the 'used bin' of once great pop songs.

Kanye's "Runaway," however, reaches for the stars and comes down with something altogether epic and completely unique - standing apart from traditional verse/chorus blather. The refrain even borrows more from Kid A than Kid Cudi - which again speaks to Kanye's range of influences and methods of attack.

(Also, in a genius and unpredictable paring, Kanye teams up with Bon Iver's Justin Vernon - another musical recluse with lady problems.)

But an assessment of all things Kanye could not be done without tackling his massive self-inflation and tendency to self-evaluate even the minutiae. The artist has nearly abandoned interviews. He prefers Twitter, instead. In a recent episode with Matt Lauer, almighty Kanye even tried to micromanage the production of the Today show during his own interview.

So overly concerned with the deconstruction of everything he does, Kayne has created an impenetrable wall around his art. Recorded in Hawaii, Fantasy could well have been created on the moon. Although dipping into genres, and styles, and samples, and guest verses - the album exists on its own, far away from the club bangers of NYC, or the sunny pop of Cali, or the dirty beats of Detroit.

To most accurately contemplate Fastasy you need to traverse the landscape in which it was created - one unsurprisingly ruled by Kanye himself. And, you'd assume, this was exactly the way he wanted it. I promise; he's so self-conscious.

Consider the Bike Lane

2010-11-21T08:54:00.003-05:00

The recent decision by the Department of Transportation to remove a bike lane on a scenic stretch of Father Capodanno Boulevard - overlooking the putrid beaches on the east shore of Staten Island - was disappointing, although not exactly surprising.

Generally, bike lanes are a good idea. They help promote alternative forms of transportation, and could ease congestion by diverting traffic into a single lane. They also prevent speedsters from wreaking havoc on pedestrians.

Father Capodanno Boulevard is not a heavily-trafficked street (except for rush hours) and the addition of the bike lane was a mild impediment to cars, to say the least.

But the unfortunate fact is that Staten Island drivers are not mature enough, forward-thinking, or possess the common decency to share the rode with cyclists traveling at a less-than-optimal speed. This will obstruct the locals from getting to their nail salons and mini-mansions at an average clip of 30 to 90 seconds a commute. Not acceptable.

In July of 2009, a driver went ape shit on Father Capodanno. Unable to share the road with a bike, he got out of his car, grabbed a cyclist and threw him to the ground, then kicked him.

In September, a Staten Island woman flung open her car door into the bike lane of a busy Brooklyn intersection and killed a cyclist in what police called a 'freak accident.'

On the legislative side, local politicians have gone sour on the bike lane initiative. Marty Markowitz, a usual bike lane ally, recently called the DOT commissioner a bike lane "zealot."

Way out in Colorado, a candidate for governor uncovered a UN/Marxist conspiracy behind the insipid bike lane.

Staten Island legislators have weighed in on the conundrum, pointing out the obscene blight the bike lane has made on our pristine suburban sprawl.

"Staten Island is a car culture... It has never been a bicycle culture."

- Councilman James "Get the fuck outta my office" Oddo

"I think [removing the bike lane] is a very good solution."

- Boro President Oswald Copperpot

That's right. Who needs these freakin' bikes anyways? It's not part of our 'culture.'

Let's move ahead and outlaw cyclists all together. (Bikes are for children and hippies, right?) No runners either. Go to Dolphin Gym. Buy a membership. (They're not a sponsor.)

Let's make the street safe again for SUVs, tanned soccer moms, and Hummers driven by men with modestly-sized genitalia. Because that is what our 'culture' is. Am I right, Staten Island?

Is George Bush too dumb to write his own book?

2010-11-16T20:40:00.000-05:00

George W. Bush, the guy who ran the country for 8 years, is back. And this time, he's writin' books. It's the perfect Christmas gift for your Republican relative, who you have nothing in common with.

Bush's new memoir, Decision Points, was released recently and it is the usual re-hashing of important points in his colossal error of a presidency without the requisite insight and analysis you should probably get from the person who was actually there and making the important decisions.

You may have seen him making up with Kanye West recently on the Today Show. Wouldn't it be great if Bush got a guest verse on My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy?

Anyways, it turns out that Bush couldn't even bother to write some of his own memoir. The HuffingtonPost points out that some of the book was lifted from the book American Soldier by one of the guys who ran the Afghan war, Tommy Franks:

George Bush from Decision Points:

“Tommy told the national security team that he was working to apply the same concept of a light footprint to Iraq… ‘If we have multiple, highly skilled Special Operations forces identifying targets for precision-guided munitions, we will need fewer conventional grounds forces,’ he said. ‘That’s an important lesson learned from Afghanistan.’ I had a lot of concerns. … I asked the team to keep working on the plan. ‘We should remain optimistic that diplomacy and international pressure will succeed in disarming the regime,’ I said at the end of the meeting. ‘But we cannot allow weapons of mass destruction to fall into the hands of terrorists. I will not allow that to happen.’”

Tommy Franks from American Soldier:

“‘For example, if we have multiple, highly skilled Special Operations forces identifying targets for precision-guided munitions, we will need fewer conventional ground forces. That’s an important lesson learned from Afghanistan.’ President Bush’s questions continued throughout the briefing…. Before the VTC ended, President Bush addressed us all. ‘We should remain optimistic that diplomacy and international pressure will succeed in disarming the regime.’ … The President paused. ‘Protecting the security of the United States is my responsibility,’ he continued. ‘But we cannot allow weapons of mass destruction to fall into the hands of terrorists.’ He shook his head. ‘I will not allow that to happen.’”

Duh. Way to play into the I'm the dumbest president ever stereotype. Maybe he should just call it the first remix presidential memoir ever.

You can pick it up at Barnes & Noble on Richmond Avenue when you get your copy of Here's the Situation by Mike Sorrentino. Great stocking stuffers, both.

If you haven't had enough of Kayne and want to relive the terrifying nature of the Bush Presidency at the same time, watch this horrific video.

Staten Island Jihadist faces judge, gets no bail

2010-11-16T14:51:00.001-05:00

A former Staten Islander, and Tottenville High School student, appeared in federal court Tuesday to hear why he won't be joining the Taliban anytime soon.

Appearing in a Brooklyn court, Abdel Hameed Shehadeh was accused of lying to authorities after making a number of unsuccessful attempts to fly overseas and join Jihadist groups.

The Times describes the non-eventful courtroom scene:

In court on Tuesday, Mr. Shehadeh, who wore a brown T-shirt and loose-fitting blue pants, quietly answered questions from a United States magistrate judge, Ramon E. Reyes Jr., saying he understood the nature of the charges and his rights.

After he was denied travel to Iraq and Somalia in 2008, Shehadeh tried to enter Pakistan and claimed he was going to attend a University. He wasn't. And when investigators questioned him, he got caught lying.

The dude even tried to join the Army and go to Iraq where, we would guess, he was going to desert and join the other side. What an a-hole!

Prosecutors asked that he be denied bail because he is a flight risk and danger to the community: ya think? His lawyer didn't even bother to file a bail application.

Shehadeh faces up to 8 years in prison. Meanwhile, Staten Island is under Jihad watch. Maybe Pam Geller was right after all.

Redman is in Wu Tang? Who knew?

2010-11-16T12:59:00.004-05:00

The Grammy-winning, How High-acting, Cribs-appearing, post-EPMD rapper Redman (aka Reggie Noble) is doing promotion for his next album, Reggie, due out in December.

During a recent interview while touring Europe, Noble came out as the 11th member of Staten Island's prolific hip-hop collective, Wu-Tang Clan:

"I am a Wu-Tang member and Method Man, he been a Death Squad member way before I was a Wu member," Redman said.

"I was like a Wu member but I wasn't official. But E. [Erick] Sermon made him Meth a death squad member back in the day. I became a Wu member about 5 years ago. I am the 11th member of Wu."

Besides the head-scratching grammar, what the effe is going on here?

What does he mean when he says he became a member five years ago? Why didn't anyone tell us? Is there an initiation ceremony? Did they need to make room by kicking out Masta Killa or Cappadonna?

Red's invective about his movie career is equally confusing:

"Universal owns the mother fucking rights to How High. They own the names, they own the characters, they own the whole fucking shit. If Red and Meth do a movie, we might can't call it How High. Only person that can get us out of that is Keenan Ivory Wayans."

Keenan Ivory Wayans? What is he like the black Lorne Michaels?

Hipsters wage war on Duane Reade

2010-11-16T01:16:00.000-05:00

The New York Times featured a story Friday about the scourge permeating the hipster neighborhoods of Brooklyn: Duane Reade.

Apparently, a second version of this chain establishment is opening in their artist enclave/former-crack epidemic crime zone. And this is just too much for the trustafarians to bear.

The Times lays it down:

For many residents it signaled that dreaded chain stores — symbols of all things corporate and uninspired — were about to breach the industrial neighborhood turned bastion of the young, do-it-yourself and arty.

Arty? That's a word, I guess. Odd how these 'residents' will happily take the L Train to Manhattan everyday, where there are - i dunno - maybe just a few Duane Reades. Also, what is there position on Starbucks? Tell me these kids like bodega coffee. I'm sure their anti-corporate crusades stop at the point of Cappuccino convenience.

The hipster outrage has boiled over into the most unlikely of places - Facebook. Check out the overly dramatic page I'm Boycotting Duane Reade to Save Williamsburg. This aggression will not stand. There will be blood in the streets.

At least the irony of this situation wasn't lost on one local resident:

If you're worried about gentrifying the neighborhood, maybe you should convince you and your friends to MOVE THE FUCK OUT so rent prices can go back to normal and Puerto Rican families and Hassids can move back in without having to sell a kidney.

Maybe the hipsters could a lesson from Rosebank, Staten Island, where the residents unified against a new Walgreens. This was less of an idealist Sisyphean struggle against corporate greed, and more of a localized 'support your local business' initiative.

They built the Walgreens anyway, but locals don't shop there. It's hard to take over the neighborhood when you don't have many customers.

Aim low, Brooklyn. This is not '60s Haight Ashbury.

Wild Turkeys terrorize Staten Island (video)

2010-11-15T16:44:00.001-05:00

You've heard the apocalyptic headlines the past week or so. There's been everything but a red alert issued for all seniors living near the Ocean Breeze section of Staten Island.

Turkeys are everywhere, and they are raising hell.

Here is just a sampling of the horrors we've been subjected to from local media in the past week - coincidentally, right before Thanksgiving.

'Wild turkeys take over Staten Island neighborhood' - ABC

'Staten Island Locals Fear Wild Turkeys!' - Gothamist

'Turkeys Terrify Staten Island Residents, Trap Woman in Car' - Field & Stream

'Scourge of Staten Island: Turkeys terrorize residents as they roam neighborhood' - Daily News

We went down to Ocean Breeze to investigate, and it was just as terrifying as the news outlets told us. Honestly, it is amazing that we made it out of that shit hole alive.

Video below:

Angelina's rap: the remix

2010-11-13T19:20:00.004-05:00

It's the best piece of music to come out of Staten Island since the last Budos album, or Ingrid Michaelson, or whatever crap you people listen to.

NO. We are not talking about the horribly awesome rap song leaked to TMZ this week. The one with Staten Island native, and Jersey Shore actress, Angelina doing her impersonation of a whiny cat getting run over by trunk. Not that one.

It's the remix! By Staten Island's own DJ LowBall.

In case you're not in the know of Island culture/high art, LowBall is the guy who DJs at local hot spots every so often with an iPod for, like, real cheap.

You can catch LowBall himself, at a venue near you. Just name your price. But for now here's his latest creation:

Beware of the annual turkey story

2010-11-11T13:09:00.000-05:00

What a coincidence. Every year, just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, a bunch of turkey stories waddle right out off Seaview Avenue and into the pages of the local dailies.

Do turkeys send out a press release, or is it just the time of the year when editors say: "They have turkeys out in Staten Island, don't they? Go drive out there and see if you can find a few."

And find turkeys they did.

"Thanksgiving may be two weeks away, but every day is turkey day for a quiet section of New York City's Staten Island." -CNN

Cute, but a conspiracy theory lurks nearby, in the hot dog cart.

"About 12 years ago somebody dropped two turkeys off down by the psychiatric center." -hot dog guy

This could be a new urban legend, like Cropsey. What happens when turkeys attack?

"It was straight out of 'Cujo. I'm sitting in my car Facebooking on my phone when turkeys jumped on my windshield." -NYDN

Terrifying. What do the turkeys have against Facebooking? Can someone wrap this situation up in one quotable sentence that invokes the true nature of the holiday season?

"I have the perfect spot for these turkeys, right between my mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce."

Perfect. The humans win. Enjoy the video:

My Big Friggin' Stereotype

2010-11-10T15:49:00.000-05:00

Now that Jersey Shore Season 2 has ended, Viacom could not help themselves but dole out another pitiful reality program that portrays Italian Americans as shallow, materialistic pieces of trash.

The latest tome in their canon of diminishing returns is My Big Friggin' Wedding, a reality show that follows four couples as they plan out the biggest day in their young guido lives. Not surprisingly, there's a lot of drinking, embarrassing revelations, and gross generalizations.

There's even a token character of color thrown into the mix, a Haitian man named Danny. He's mostly there to show how others react to his skin color.

"My grandmother was crying hysterical, for months, because I was marrying a Haitian," his to-be bride admits.

"My family is making him feel like he's gonna steal something as soon as he walks in. Like, please."

Italian people were once smeared in popular movies and cable TV as vicious mobsters like Henry Hill, Michael Corleone, and the titular anti-hero, Tony Soprano. Now they have Snooki and her residual popularity in shows like My Big Friggin' Wedding.

Staten Island's population is roughly 35 percent Italian. And while there are many Italians on the Island who run businesses, fight fires, change oil, give root canals, and practice law - we don't know any mobsters or tanorexics.

As the AP points out, an Italian American group in Fairfield, New Jersey has called the new show a "big racist stereotype of Italian-Americans.”

"Stereotyping and slurring young Italian Americans means big, big bucks for bottom-feeder networks like MTV and VH1," reads a statement from UNICO, the Fairfield-based Italian American organization.

But where is the outrage in Richmond County - or have we ceded our identity to the Juicy Couture mall culture.

Of course we can just wait until this whole reality fad washes over, but by then how much damage will be done?

How many hungry cats can you fit in a rented Staten Island home?

2010-11-09T21:50:00.003-05:00

This disturbing story came out of Great Kills last weekend.

70-year-old Bill Reilly moved out of his rented home in October, but when something started to stink real bad, neighbors complained.

Animal control found 38 cats living in the apartment with nothing to eat or drink.

When the Advance called Reilly he said they "just multiplied" and then hung up.

No word on whether the cats were really Gremlins, the creatures from the 1984 movie who multiply when you add water.

Reilly's landlord was a little defensive about his tenant.

"Apart from the thing with the cats, he was a great guy."

Yeah, besides the whole thing about torturing animals, we're sure Bill Reilly is totally awesome.

10 questions for 'The Situation'

2010-11-04T12:30:00.002-04:00

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino came to the Barnes and Noble by The Staten Island Mall Wednesday night to sell some books.

As the 'Jersey Shore' wanes in popularity (MTV is already moving on to younger programming) the reality star is grasping at his newfound fame and whatever monetary deals come his way.

The Situation - or, more accurately, his ghostwriter - has written a new book that celebrates his shallow, manufactured, misogynist lifestyle.

Even the local paper could not hide their contempt as we detect a smidge of snark in their straight report.

Reportedly 600 people showed up, and the video verifies that at least some screaming young women were excited about the opportunity to meet the character and/or read his epic piece of literature.

Since we have no desire to go near this piece of shit, unless given the opportunity to smack him in the face, here what we would have asked him:

1. Aren't you too old for this?

2. Will you ever go back to stripping?

3. Do you hate all women, or just ugly ones?

4. How far back have you set the Italian-American race? 10 years? 20?

5. Why do you act like a blue-balled teenager on the show every time you don't get laid?

6. Seriously, what are you gonna do when your 15 minutes are up?

7. Where do you get your human growth hormones: from a doctor or a street pharmacist?

8. Do the Jersey Shore producers tell you to act like an asshole, or is that just naturally how you are?

9. Are you investing you money well? We are concerned about this.

(last but not least)

10. You embody the vapid materialism that some people associate with the borough of Staten Island. Your regular use of the term 'grenades' is demeaning and insulting to young girls you don't ascribe to your qualifications of 'hotness.'

Of course there is more to life than tanning and laundry. But you have become a cultural icon of sorts. With this status, comes an inherent responsibility to represent, and in some ways placate, some types of people you would normally shun and mock.

If your career is going to last longer than the show's 'trainwreck' popularity you need to act more as a responsible adult than the adolescent image you currently project in the public sphere. Will you attempt to transform yourself into a more serious public personality?

We recommend fundraisers, anti-discrimination campaigns, non-profit work, positive messages to youth about steroids and so forth.

MTV is using you. Your management is leeching off you. You're a multi-million dollar revenue stream. But if you don't get some serious career advice, it will all be over faster than you can say 'Ruben Studdard.'

Staten Island: You done goofed

2010-11-03T12:21:00.000-04:00

Election night hangover is in full effect. Not from booze or weed (Prop 19 failed) but from a late night of watching election returns come in from around the country.

But like the double rainbow, the election left us wondering: what does it mean?

On a national scale, the election confirmed our belief that the Tea Party is wildly overblown: the witch lady lost in Delaware, Paladino and his baseball bat went down in glorious flames, Sharron Angle was pummeled by Harry Reid, Sarah Palin's pick in Alaska, Joe Miller, looks like he will go down to a write-in candidate of Lisa Murkowski.

Sure, Republicans picked up lots of seats in the house of a bunch of governorships, but most big ticket Tea Party crazy candidates went down. One exception being Rand Paul, a guy who want to privatize social security - good luck with that.

But Staten Island's congressional race was a close one. Incumbent Mike McMahon and Mike Grimm battled back and forth late into the night, and Grimm was left standing.

Nursing the election hangover, we were driving past the Staten Island Expressway this morning. Contractors had cleared the brush on the side of the highway. They were surveying the area to develop a new lane that will ease the ball-breaking traffic that plagues the borough twice every day during rush hour.

McMahon has been working on this project since his city council days.

Grimm wants to repeal health care reform.

Congratulations SI, we just went backwards. How far is now up to Mr. Grimm.

Last gaffe for Carl Paladino

2010-11-01T22:19:00.007-04:00

We're gonna miss you Carl!

Even though only 13 people showed up to your last Staten Island meet-and-greet, you were by far the best (local) candidate to make fun of.

The election is tomorrow, and it's hard to think what life will be like without you: your misogynist statements, your white rage, those hardcore pornographic e-mails... All will be lost.

As if your fat head never emerged from the wastelands of Buffalo.

If Christine O'Donnell weren't a practicing witch you could've have rode your bullshit campaign into a national spotlight of vulgar assholery.

But you were rendered to viral internet memes. Better than nothing, we guess.

By the grace of God, if you may win tomorrow, and pull of the greatest of upsets, you can invade Albany lugging a phallic baseball bat at your heels, and proceed to be the most hated governor in New York State's history - before even lifting a finger.

Godspeed, Mr. Paladino. You didn't have a shot in hell but gave us the performance of a deranged lifetime.

The election will be over on Tuesday. You can take a break and - you guessed it - spend some quality time with your families.

Thanks for the memories. Especially this final salvo: a walk-out mid-interview on Monday when a reporter from upstate asked a question about your distaste for female candidates.

Shocker: Angelina's mall fight was PR stunt

2010-10-30T12:07:00.006-04:00

If you're not keeping up with your 'Jersey Shore'-related news, Staten Island's favorite serial-quitter of reality shows got into a tussle in the Hot Topic of the Staten Island Mall this week.

The biggest shock about this incident - besides the fact that Angelina shops at Hot Topic - was that the whole thing was a PR stunt (according to the Staten Island's intrepid mall cops).

Wow, didn't see that coming.

Radar Online got all the juicy quotes from Angelina's mom:

"Angelina and her girlfriend got jumped at the mall by two teenage girls," said momma Trashbags. "The security guards did nothing to help them and told her, 'This is a publicity stunt, we have no time for this."

Mall cops aren't exactly Rhodes Scholars, so if they can figure this out, it must be pretty obvious.

Momma T-bags went on:

"My daughter can't go out without getting accosted. Half the people attack her and the other half want her autograph and photos."

That's the price you pay for being a reality celebrity whore. Well, that and the multi-million dollar contract you signed to be on MTV. We'd say that's a pretty good trade off.

McMahon's karate stunt: neat trick or low blow?

2010-10-28T14:22:00.002-04:00

The McMahon campaign has taken of the gloves, and kicked Mike Grimm right in the nut sack.

The Advance did some deep investigative work to find out that Mike Grimm's ex-wife was given a preferential front row seat in Tuesday night's Battle Royale debate between Grimm and Mike McMahon.

"Observers saw four Team McMahon placeholders, who had arrived early to stake out front-row seats, give them up just before the debate began to Grimm's ex-wife, Susan Kim, her father and two brothers. The four took seats directly in front of the podium at which Grimm would stand."

Add to the mix that the Kim family are taekwondo experts who own a chain of karate schools.

The apparent goal: to make Mike Grimm shit himself in fear.

But, it's not like McMahon plucked them out of obscurity.

The Kim's are big McMahon supporters, live in the neighborhood, are very involved in local affairs, and are - a personal opinion - very cordial, stylish, and in general, lovely people.

Of course we may be biased in this. (We already basically endorsed McMahon.) But when your opponent openly declares that you are "ruining our country" shouldn't you have a chance to punch him in the balls?

Mike Grimm has plastered lawn signs all over the Island lambasting McMahon's 2002 vote, while in the city council, to raise property taxes in a successful effort to stave off a massive city fiscal shitstorm after 9/11. Isn't that a low blow as well?

Because Grimm has no political past on Staten Island, can we talk about his failed marriage?

The official Hipster Survey

2010-10-27T20:05:00.004-04:00

Some people said that the hipster died with the '00 decade. And we said, 'Oh yeah? Prove it!'

Well thanks to the City University of New York now we can.

The departments of sociology and anthropology have combined in this painstaking effort to create a demographic profile detailing where, when, and if the hipster actually exists. It's all compiled in this neat little survey.

You see, unfortunately the U.S. Census does not have a category for 'hipster' under ethnicity so that whole ten-year data collection is basically useless.

This is the only way we can honestly quantify hipsters.

Here's the plan: gather enough data of Staten Islanders, compile it, hire a statistician, average it up, and presto. We have a hipster index for Staten Island.

We can then compare our hipster index with other neighborhoods in New York City by using the internets to survey those areas.

OK Greenpoint, let's see what you got? If everyone cooperates we'll email other blogs and get them to pony up.

Survey is below:

Post how many questions you answered "YES" to.

1. Do you own a Mac?

2. Do you regularly drink PBR?

3. Do you regularly wear scarves even when it’s not cold?

4. Do you have an iPhone?

5. Do you wear Ray-Bans?

6. Do you own more than three plaid shirts?

7. Do you own a pair of Tom’s?

8. Do you wear Converse All-Stars with skinny jeans?

9. Do you wear any denim clothing other than jeans?

10. Do you own any ironic T-shirts? For example: “Draft Beer, Not People.”

11. When you talk about music, do other people have no fucking clue what you’re talking about?

12. Do you have glasses that look like Buddy Holly?

13. Do you brew your own beer/other form of alcohol?

14. Do you own a cat with an unconventional name?

15. Are you against marriage, period?

16. Do you have three or more tattoos?

17. If you are a man, do you have a moustache?

18. Are you politically liberal?

19. Are you a coffee snob?

20. Do you drink soy milk despite not being lactose intolerant?

21. Do you frequently bike places?

22. Do you listen to public radio?

23. Do you eat quinoa or have a membership with a CSA?

24. Have you ever brought a child to a bar?

25. Do you still have a Member’s Only jacket in your closet?

26. Do you live in Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Bushwick, Park Slope, Crown Heights, Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, or Bed-Stuy?

27. Ladies: do you buy things on Etsy?

From Tottenville to Taliban

2010-10-27T00:01:00.000-04:00

There's a Jihad on the South Shore.

A former Tottenville High School student was arrested in Hawaii on Friday on charges that he repeatedly tried to fly into Pakistan and join the Taliban.

Abdel Hameed Shehadeh, a 21-year-old guy from Prince's Bay, is being transferred to Brooklyn where he will face further proceedings.

According to the New York Times the case is "based on numerous statements Mr. Shehadeh made to F.B.I." concerning his intended travels to the Afghan region.

The feds implicated Shehadeh and "several other individuals in connection with a plot to travel overseas and wage violent jihad against the United States and coalition military forces."

He even tried to enlist in the Army at the Times Square recruiting station.

The federal complaint also states that Shehadeh ran multiple Web sites dedicated to spreading Jihad ideology. Right here on Staten Island? And the dude even tried to recruit others.

Could this be a big misunderstanding? That's his landlord above, with the beard. He says Shehadeh's a good kid.

At this point, the only question is: What would Juan Williams do?

What has Mike Grimm done for Staten Island?

2010-10-26T18:15:00.003-04:00

The midterm Congressional election on Staten Island is a competition between a politician who has served the borough for the past decade and a mystery man who recites Sarah Palin talking points.

Last night on NY1, Mike Grimm and Mike McMahon slowly devoured each other in a preview of Tuesday night's discussion at Wagner College.

Both candidates landed a few jabs, there was only a modicum of policy discussion, and the event set a precedent for the closing weeks of what is purportedly a battle for the future of Staten Island's soul.

But it's not. It doesn't matter. Tuesday's debate will likely revolve around the same nonsense that we were subject to in the NY1 preview: all spit and no substance.

To be fair - well, in a weak attempt to be fair - McMahon may have overplayed his hand in a few attacks against Grimm. (We haven't seen the infamous 'Kathleen Grimm' flier, and our mailbox is literally overflowing with campaign literature. So it may be a non-issue in a sea on non-issues.)

Point is: Mike McMahon is actually doing shit. real stuff. to help Staten Island. like alleviate traffic and re-haul the ferry terminal. He is not part of the 'Pelosi agenda' and didn't 'raise your taxes' in Congress. His opponent has tried to paint him with a broad brush, but it's possible that Grimm's lack of familiarity with the borough is catching up with him.

McMahon voted to raise property taxes in 2002 while he was in the City Council - that's a different legislative body, Mr. Grimm. And he is hardly a liberal lackey, just ask the people who supported Steve Harrison.

And instead of offering a vision, Grimm has been shouting the word 'liberal' like a 5-year-old until it sticks like a letter magnet on the fridge. He's done absolutely nothing for Staten Island, barely even voted. And he has not offered any plan to do anything in the future except recite Tea Party platitudes about the federal debt and other non-sequiturs.

Simply put: he is a plant, potted by Giuliani and watered with the inanity of Sarah Palin. Grimm is a pretty face with a military record, looking to parlay his non-experience into a Congressional seat.

I find it hard to believe that anyone would vote Grimm for any reason other than not liking President Obama and Speaker Pelosi. There's simply nothing there.

He's running an angry white man campaign, which is great if you want to get kids off your front lawn.

Mike Grimm overreacts to NPR debacle

2010-10-25T09:04:00.001-04:00

This one comes thanks to the people at Rap Scholar.

Juan Williams, the always reliable Alan Colmes-ish liberal foil on Fox News, was fired from his NPR gig after saying some pretty ignorant and flat-out dumb stuff about Muslims, or Mooslims as they're called on Staten Island.

"When I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."

Replace "Muslims" with "black people" and "plane" with "dark alley" and you'll see how far we've come with race relations in this country.

Anyway, NPR may have over reacted in firing Williams, but not as much as Mike Grimm, Staten Island's next Congressional representative (according to all the mail we're getting).

Grimm wants NPR de-funded by the government, so they can solicit ads from Goldline or something.

"It is time NPR did what all other radio stations have to do - compete on its own in the free market without the support of our government and our tax dollars. It is not acceptable that our tax dollars have been wasted on failed legislation, such as the stimulus package which has created no jobs. And it is also not acceptable that our tax dollars are being wasted on a free speech-crushing organizations such as NPR."

See how Grimm threw the stimulus package in there. Classic douchery. By the way, NPR would cease to exist without government support and funding the station is integral to our democracy. But, they can just shill like all the other hacks I guess.

The Observer got more from Grimm:

"Juan Williams was fired for being honest and saying something many Americans feel."

Really? "Many Americans" feel like ignorant bigots that shit their pants when they see people who look like they might, possibly, be Muslim? Maybe in Mike Grimm's America - and Midland Beach.

CMJ: Punk's not dead, it's old and pathetic

2010-10-24T20:54:00.000-04:00

It smells down here. I'm at the Music Hall of Williamsburg, in Brooklyn, downstairs at the bar - and it stinks.

It happens to be the venue where washed-up punks come to watch their favorite retro acts during the CMJ Music Marathon. It's between sets and their body odor is awful. I should get out of here.

Once an opportunity for college-aged independent rock bands, CMJ was the place they went to showcase their stuff for the industry folk, with the hopes of scoring a record deal. But that's not gonna happen.

Today everything is niche-ified. For the blog crowd. Wanna hear a one-man electronic act that sounds like four records played in reverse on an incessant loop while random projections run on a movie screen in the background? That's next door. But for now, we're at the '90s punk show.

A band called Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is reproducing covers of Paul Simon and 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow.' They're sporting white suits, Hawaiian T-shirts, and a misplaced sense of irony. A guy with a rooster red Mohawk is slam dancing to a version of 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina.' I am getting too old for this. Or - it is sad and pathetic. Probably a little of both.

I walk back to the car. My window is broken. Nothing was taken. Everything is still there: radio, CDs, photo albums, iPhone charger, shitload of change in the console. It's all there.

It was a shady part of town, maybe 20 years ago, but it's safe now. It's been over-run by out-of-towners, 20-somethings killing time between grad school and real life.

I put my hood up, 'Illmatic' on, and headed over the Verrazano. A shard of glass bounces off my face. Maybe I shoulda skipped that last beer or the corny cover band. I should swear off CMJ altogether.

I should get over it. Maybe somebody just felt like smashing a window. Some people find enjoyment in this droll.

Geeking out to 'The Social Network'

2010-10-23T08:45:00.000-04:00

'The Social Network' - a Page 6 version of Mark Zuckerberg's rise from dorm room geek to billionaire baller – is a compelling, though highly clichéd, picture of Silicon Valley via 'Girls Gone Wild.'

The film chronicles the meteoric rise of the now-ubiquitous social networking site Facebook. Through its evolution, screenwriter Aaron Sorkin (West Wing), along with director David Fincher (Fight Club, Zodiac), have brought us a hackneyed morality tale - one in which the losers inevitably win, but at a cost that renders them impotent and alone.

Before they even role the opening credits, a smug and condescending Zuckerberg (a curly-haired Jesse Eisenberg) chides his girlfriend in a Cambridge pub until she finally relents to his overbearing verbal assault.

Girls won’t like him, she says, but not because he’s a geek. It’s because he’s an asshole.

And he most certainly is; at least in the Sorkin-crafted script, where his drive to create Facebook is ultimately a quest for chics and popularity. His parallel quest to join an exclusive final club is also a supposed motivation behind this obsessive personality.

It doesn’t matter that the real Zuckerberg has a fiancé – an Asian-American medical school student he’s been dating since Harvard – because there he is again in the closing scene, pathetically refreshing a Web browser that might elicit an accepted Facebook request from that same girl he slighted. In Hollywood, nerds only get one chance.

The Web and its beautiful, seedy possibilities shroud the script like a magic cloak of glitter and doom. Napster co-founder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) pops in to seize Zuckerberg’s imaginations and entrepreneurial pursuits. Parker is the enigmatic Web veteran, jet setting from NYC sushi joints to Palo Alto coke parties, and vying for Zuck to join this wild and crazy ride.

Parker is a disruptor, a person whose peer-to-peer downloading service upended the entire music industry - or at least lead to its demise. And his character is, if at once sexy and exciting, ultimately conniving, and paranoid – a drug-addled crook. After all, these punk kids are destroying our once-ironclad business model. Napster killed CDs, and Facebook is helping slowly choke newspapers to death. But this can’t last. They’re in way over their heads, right?

Some scenes are meant to induce both horror and chuckles at the excess of 20-something billionaires: Parker’s coke snorting session off a young intern’s midriff; Zuckerberg’s 24-hour-party of a Palo Alto ranch. But these actions aren’t much different from a young sports phenom who suddenly scores a multi-million dollar NBA contract. And the teenage horseplay (ziplining into the pool?) certainly doesn't reach the nadir of Hollywood starlets like Lindsay Lohan. Are we holding hardworking, whitebread, Harvard dropouts to a higher standard than everyone else?

Zuckerberg’s motives for Internet dominance are constantly skewed to show selfish, juvenile inclinations. In reality, the young prodigy – maybe detached and perhaps a bit arrogant – was coding and innovating at a young age, working from Exeter to Harvard, constantly developing ideas and start-ups throughout his teens. But in “The Social Network’s” besides being a proficient hacker, Zuckerberg is mostly a one-dimensional jerk.

Even his antagonists come off as snide and self-obsessed. The Winklevoss twins (both played by Armie Hammer) are entitled, country club brats. Their quest to sue Facebook is plagued with comic landmines: the counsel of their father's in-house attorney; a brief, though tumultuous, meeting with then Harvard President Larry Summers (brilliant casting of Summers-critic Douglas Urbanski).

The one main character that comes off as genuine and well intentioned is Eduardo Saverin. Eduardo is the company's initial CFO, the man who bankrolled the venture but wanted "the party to end at 11." He is the cool, rational one – a sober participant who ends up getting screwed by Zuckerberg and friends. Saverin even makes one of those final clubs that Zuck so desperately aspired to.

The movie is based on the book, “The Accidental Billionaires,” a work of “non-fiction” that cites Saverin as its primary source. The author, Ben Mezrich, makes a disclosure statement explaining how he “changed or imagined” scenes in order to move the story forward. Even Doubleday’s own publicist has ceded that the work is not “reportage.”

For his part, Sorkin is on record showing his distaste for the Internet. And while the Social Network claims to expose its dirty side on the business end, another of this year’s movies, “Catfish,” shows how people can become ensnared in the intricate ruse of the Web, constructed by people like Mark Zuckerberg.

You might argue that Zuckerberg helped perpetuate an escapist fantasy, where people play caricatures of themselves on screen, and various types of falsehoods get played out in lieu of reality. You can also say he knowingly produced Facebook to create a more compelling narrative about his life, and ultimately a lot of money.

The same arguments can just as easily be leveled at Mr. Sorkin for making this convincing and very fun-to-watch movie.

Wu Tang Clan covered across the Pond

2010-10-19T14:16:00.002-04:00

Thanks to the good people at ACanofSoup for sending us this.

Below is a stellar performance of Wu Tang's "Protect Ya Neck" by a London street busker and one-man-band, Lewis Floyd Henry.

The Soup (a good read on any day) supplied a great critique of NYC busker culture:

"When I see La Suena del Inka on the L platform, rocking pan flutes and a baritone 12-string uke (!), something larger stirs in me. There’s a multiculturalism there that the dum-dums of the rat race aren’t likely to expose themselves to, even with the aid of the Internet – there’s a spirit, something beyond the tunes."

Wu Tang put us on the map in the early '90s. Their brand of spitfire verses, and cryptic soul samples signified a culture of its own - specifically underground hip-hop in the boroughs including Brooklyn, Bronx and Staten. It was an untapped market of creative genius. And it's nice to think of an SI export as multicultural on a London street corner.

The 'culture' attributed to our borough in the past few years has been decisively exploitative and of the outer-boro whitebread (or tanned) variety. But this is a passing fad. The authentic will always outlast the artificial. They will know us for something other than our vapid guido aesthetic.

Video:

Reporter mistaken for psycho killer on Facebook

2010-10-19T09:36:00.001-04:00

Oh, the internets.

This episode of epic fail is brought to us by a local "link farm" outlet, the Facebook page of Staten Island, New York.

The page, which is "not associated with, sponsored or authorized by, any County Government," has more than 11,000 likes and regularly posts random links about local news.

They are also heavily skewed to the right, sharing 'news' about: Sarah Palin, 'Obamacare,' and insightful nuggets about November's local Congressional race, like this one:

Election 2010: "Last week, the campaign for one-term incumbent Rep. Michael McMahon crossed that line from rough-and-tumble campaign tactics to bald-faced deceit."

Way to be non-partisan.

But the site really fucked up on Sunday, when the anonymous farm put up this story about Eric Belluci, the guy who (allegedly) killed his family and fled to Israel.

Notice anything wrong here? The photo attached to the news article is not psycho killer Eric Bellucci, it's Advance reporter and sometime DUMP reader Ben Johnson.

The link farm chose the wrong image to go with their daily bait. Predictable hilarity ensues:

All they had to do is go here read the damn story. Once you do, it's clear that the image provided was of the reporter and not the psycho killer. But, remember, these are people who get their news from Facebook. So - thanks to 'Staten Island, New York' - 11,000 FB users think Mr. Johnson murdered his family.

Like this guy:

Pure EVIL!

Moral of the story: don't trust anonymous link farms on Facebook, they are typically run by someone who has both an agenda and an rudimentary grasp of social networking.

Want to read local news and gossip, go to SILive or even the goddamned DUMP for christ sakes. At least we don't confuse our reporters/bloggers with homicidal maniacs (unless, of course, they are).

The tragedy of Brian Wilson's beard

2010-10-17T19:42:00.014-04:00

What happened on the mound during Saturday evening's National League playoff game between the Philadelphia Phillies and San Francisco Giants was a minor tragedy.

It was the 8th inning. A burly and intimidating Brian Wilson took the rosin bag. His performance didn't concern me. He was stellar. A 96-mile-per-hour fastball struck down the final four outs of the game. It was an exemplary performance for a closing pitcher - Mo Rivera territory - but something much more important was amiss: the state of his facial hair.

I sat watching the last two innings, as Brian Wilson dominated hitters, and couldn't get my mind off his prominent beard. It was long. It was heavy. A suspiciously dark hue. Something was off here. It was very neatly trimmed - manicured like the topiary on the Todt Hill estate.

It was just too damn pretty for baseball.

I consider myself a baseball purist. Not in the sense of designated hitters and dome stadiums -- these have been around since before my time. But there is a storied tradition of relief pitchers and facial hair. They somehow manage to sign a multi-million dollar contract and still look like the guy who changes your oil.

Back in the '80s, we had the Lenny Dykstra era, when baseball players were tobacco spitting, head-first sliding, amphetamine-driven dynamos, with nothing more than a decisive win and after-game hooker on their minds.

You might want to make a moral judgement about this description. But, talk to any Wall Street power player during these years and they'll tell you how brokers were devouring cocaine like Pixy Stix.

Should our athletes be held to a higher standard? Wouldn't they be subject to the same vices as others in their milieu? Who knows?

But back to Mr. Wilson. How exactly did he trim this monstrosity? He obviously spent a lot of time, effort, and thought on his lumberjack costume. Do the San Francisco Giants employ a team 'stylist' and - we hate to insinuate - but is there a hint of Just For Men on this mane?

Where is Mark Fainaru-Wada when we need him?

We live in a time when a chart-topping male pop singer is sometimes mistaken for a lesbian. And last week's episode of 'Jersey Shore' showed Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino - our generation's Stanley Kowalski - getting his eyebrows trimmed.

It's no secret that the collective testosterone level has been demoted in today's popular culture ('Big Bang Theory,' Robert Pattinson). But baseball? I honestly never thought it would come to this.

Carl Paladino's campaign rendered in animation

2010-10-16T22:46:00.003-04:00

The good people of Taiwan (that island nation off mainland China, which is actually our ally) put together this CGI version of the Carl Paladino saga.

There's not much that can be said beyond that fact that it's awesome. They even included the fight with NY Post's Fred Dicker, except in the Taiwanese version they use automatic weapons (the media use baseball bats on Crazy Carl).

The animation pretty much sums up the entire campaign. No need to read the papers anymore. What would we do without Taiwan? Probably pay much more for animators from South Korea.

Sun Ra Arkestra playing on Staten Island

2010-10-15T00:37:00.001-04:00

Important Public Service Announcement:

This Saturday is the United Temple for the Arts Jazz Festival at Snug Harbor Cultural Center. The legendary avant-garde jazz group Sun Ra Arkestra will be performing under the direction of Marshall Allen.

The event is early: 2 pm to 7 pm, and $30 or $25 in advance if you go here.

Pre-show activities include a panel discussion on the future of jazz. Check the site for the full gamut of performers, but we will leave you with some old school Sun Ra.

He may be dead, but they still wear those wacky space suits.

Video, bump:

NY Post exclusive with Staten Island streaker

2010-10-14T01:03:00.004-04:00

Leave it to the New York Post to get an exclusive interview with the naked guy who got arrested at President Obama's Philadelphia rally on Sunday.

In this amazing YouTube piece, Staten Islander Juan Rodriguez explains why he performed the nude stunt, gives a history of streaking, and voices his approval for both President Obama and The Roots.

The incident was staged after billionaire Alki David promised $1 Million to anyone who streaked past the President with 'Battlecam.com' written on their chest.

Rodriguez claims he got "10 feet" from the President and says that Obama kept his cool.

"That shows that he's a great leader for this country." ---- huh?

He then gets into the history of streaking (graduations, Queen Elizabeth) in an apparent effort to legitimize the art form. According to Rodriguez, the first streaker is even in a museum!

If and when the million bucks arrives, he'd like to donate some to charity and help his little sister, who is sick.

But, he still had a good time at the rally: "I was happy to see the Roots... I was like, 'I hope they don't come on after Obama, cause I won't be able to see them.'"

In a somber moment Rodriguez even admits that some one could have gotten hurt, by a sniper. And that's why he ran away so fast. What a swell guy.

Titone calls Carl Paladino mentally ill

2010-10-13T07:04:00.003-04:00

Staten Island Assemblymen Matthew Titone came out with some heated words Tuesday for Republican gubernatorial candidate Crazy Carl Paladino.

The Island's first openly gay politician was responding to the comments Paladino made Sunday afternoon during a homophobic rant at a meeting with Jewish leaders in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Albany's Times Union had the full statement from Titone:

“Honestly, I swear to God, all morning I’ve been festering over this, while doing dishes — by hand. And all I can think is, there must be mental illness there, and I can’t be hateful. I think there may be some sort of mental illness with Carl Paladino that is completely un-addressed. He can’t help himself. He just simply cannot help himself. He’s attacked just about every person, every group, so far. I really think he just cannot help himself. He’s even attacked Italians! It’s one thing to be angry and frustrated, it’s another thing to be so myopic. I would hope the Republican Party re-considers their position with Paladino as well as what they would like to define themselves as. I’ve got to tell you, some of my best friends are Republicans, and they don’t think this way.”

Paladino walked back today, with perhaps the oddest apology ever, claiming to be a "friend to many in the gay and lesbian community."

Really? Some in the LBGT community, including NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn - not buying it.

"If he truly wanted to apologize he would pick up the phone and call any number of people from the LGBT community who could tell him why his remarks over the past several days, including but not limited to those made over the weekend, are so outrageous and dangerous," she said in a statement.

Stay tuned for the next installment of the ongoing saga, Carl Paladino: how to insult and alienate New York voters.

Bullied for being Muslim

2010-10-12T15:25:00.008-04:00

The Staten Island Advance first reported the story of a 16-year-old attending Port Richmond High School who was bullied and eventually beaten by classmates who yelled anti-Muslim slurs.

The boy, Kristian, is an American-born Trinidadian, whose last name is being withheld.

The Daily News got the gory details:

"They punched me in my groin, and I fell to the floor. They started kicking me, and calling me 'You fuckin terrorist,' 'You fuckin Muslim."

Police have arrested four teens, three 14 and one 15, and charged them with a hate crime.

Was this an isolated incident, or a systemic problem not only in our borough, but in our country?

The New York Times recently ran a puffy Q and A with batshit Islamophobe Pamela Geller. Her rising star in the right-wing media is built on lambasting Muslim Americans as terrorists and denying them the right to freely practice their religion.

Remember that whole Midland Beach thing - yeah, that was her.

When George Bush was in charge of the country, he seemed to keep the anti-Muslim sentiment in check by repeatedly stating his support for American Muslims, and separating the religion from the radical ideology that bastardizes it.

Obama could say this now, but who would listen? A recent poll showed that 20 percent Americans believe the President is a Muslim himself - among Republicans it's 46 percent (as if this is a bad thing).

The four teens who beat Kristian had no reason to believe he was a terrorist, or that his Muslim faith was some sort of crime. But neither did the people of Midland Beach, who held weekly anti-Muslim hate rallies to protest a mosque moving into an abandoned convent in their neighborhood. What reason did they have to deny fellow Staten Islanders a place to worship?

Setting an example can be a powerful thing. In this case the adults acted like children - and the children, like thugs.

Staten Islander streaks at Obama rally

2010-10-11T15:51:00.013-04:00

Staten Islander Juan James Rodriguez was arrested for public nudity Sunday after streaking at an Obama rally down in Philly.

Apparently, some really rich guy promised he'd pay $1 million to anyone who got naked at wrote "Battlecam" across their chest while running bare-assed through the Philadelphia rally.

"When I see the video and it's confirmed...it won't be a check [that Rodriguez receives], it will be cash," the rich guy told the Weekly Standard.

Rodriguez has been charged with indecent exposure, open lewdness, and disorderly conduct.

Go Staten! Video here:

Paladino's crusade against speedos

2010-10-11T13:10:00.003-04:00

Carl Paladino is like your crazy uncle who gets drunk on his armchair and screams about how he would change the government - except he's actually on the ballot.

A day after Paladino's anti-gay tirade in Brooklyn, he went on the 'Today' show to make amends - sort of.

Here he is on valium (?) trying to explain away his bigotry.

On gay pride parades:

"They wear these speedos and they grind against each other - it's a terrible thing" and later... "it's disgusting."

We've never been to a pride parade, but we can imagine it's a little more than speedos and grinding.

Paladino is 20-something points downs in the polls - let's hope it stays that way.

Why we vote: Tea Party Nazis

2010-10-10T05:53:00.004-04:00

When it comes to political bickering, the Nazi card gets tossed around the blogosphere more than a Hacky Sack at Bonnaroo. But it's hard to avoid using the N-word when you have a candidate who actually dresses up and performs military re-enactments as a Waffen-SS soldier.

Meet Rich Iott, a Republican, Tea Party-backed candidate for Ohio's 9th district. Iott is a millionaire former-CEO of Food Town Supermarkets and Boy Scout. Iott also likes to play Nazis with his friends every so often.

The Atlantic's Joshua Green revealed the candidate's connection to Wiking, a group of World War II re-enactment enthusiasts. (Kind of like Comic Con, for old war nuts.) Problem is, they enjoy re-enacting the other side, specifically the 5th SS Panzer Division Wiking, an actual Nazi division that fought for Hitler's domination of Eastern Europe.

Oh, and there's pictures:

Wonderful.

The Wiking Web site stresses that "members of reenactment groups listed here, are in no way affiliated with real, radical political organizations." But this is what Rich Iott told The Atlantic about those brave Nazi soldiers he enjoys emulating so much:

"I've always been fascinated by the fact that here was a relatively small country that from a strictly military point of view accomplished incredible things. I mean, they took over most of Europe and Russia, and it really took the combined effort of the free world to defeat them. From a purely historical military point of view, that's incredible."

Also, as TPM points out the Wiking site gives a revisionist historical account of the atrocities in Eastern Europe - mainly by avoiding that whole thing about the Jews.

What's happening here?

This whole Tea Party revolution was supposed to give us 'average guy' non-politicos like Joe the Plumber (who, btw, was not a licensed plumber; does not have the first name Joe; nor did he either own a business, or make over $250,000 - as he claimed). But instead of Johnny Patriot we're getting Lyndon LaRouche: a candidate in Delaware who may or may not have been a witch, one in Nevada who urges citizens to take up arms against the government, and an uncertified opthamologist in Kentucky who would like to start charging seniors $2,000 deductibles for Medicare.

I think we can speak for the Tea Partiers themselves when we say: "This is not change we can believe in!"

Hipsters spar over Katy Perry

2010-10-08T13:31:00.002-04:00

Every so often we travel over the bridge to that Disneyland for 20-somethings known as Williamsburg.

When the inevitable question of where we live comes up, the transplant scoffs derisively. Funny, we were born here, you just moved in from some podunk town in Western Pennsylvania.

So it's moments like these that give some reprieve. A passive-aggressive note left in an apartment hallway - actually more than a note, like a short story. An extremely anal retentive one.

Notice the different font sizes, four full paragraphs of specificity, and most predictably the peanut gallery scribbling of fellow Williamsburgers.

Thankfully, we don't live next to, or above, any of these people.

Homophobe jerk: I'm not sorry

2010-10-07T10:14:00.003-04:00

Matthew Francis, the Staten Island gay basher who attacked a man at the Stonewall Inn, insists that he doesn't hate gay people, and that he was just breaking up a fight when he had Ben Carver pinned down and pummeled. Right...

"I'm not going to say sorry, because I don't know what I should be sorry for," Francis told the Daily News. "I don't hate gay people."

To bolster his defense, Francis is using the 'I have a gay friend' tact, in this case it's his sister Deanna Francis, a bartender at the Black Dog Grill on Forest Avenue.

"My sister's a full-blown lesbian," he said.

The attack happened at the Stonewall Inn, a bar synonymous with the gay rights movement.

Carver, who has stitches above his bruised right eye, said that Francis beat him after confronting him in the bathroom at the bar and asked him if he was gay. Francis' friend, Christopher Orlando, held Carver down while he was beaten.

"It's been a difficult time for me and I'm looking forward to it being over," Carver told the News.

Francis is in jail at the Tombs, awaiting for someone to pay his $10,000 bail. Maybe his sister can throw a benefit at Black Dog.

Watch trailer from 'Bridge & Tunnel'

2010-10-06T19:25:00.003-04:00

Everyone take a deep breath: It's been cancelled.

'Bridge and Tunnel' - the Staten Island-based reality show that was going to put 'Jersey Shore' to shame - has been axed by MTV execs because it was reportedly 'too similar' to the guido-centric reality show. (They say that like it's a bad thing.)

The show is pretty much what you would expect. Staten Islanders acting like assholes. Like real life, but 'acting the part' a bit more for the MTV cameras. It's sad to think that these people were hoping to achieve stardom, maybe one day be as famous as Charlie B. from 'True Life: I'm Getting Married."

Tip your 40 ounches tonight for 'Bridge and Tunnel,' the show that never was. And thank Jesus that your children don't have to grow up in a world where these people represent their home town.

Watch below:

Requiem for Trashbags

2010-10-06T12:24:00.014-04:00

(When we all tune into this week's Jersey Shore, it will be missing our favorite character - Angelina. She left us again last week after a physical altercation with the little Chilean* girl from Poughkeepsie - video below. A look back at our muse. The boro's finest.)

To Angelina:

You came into our life with the emotional baggage of a pampered outer-borough Italian, and the actual baggage of laundry, packed into Hefty Cinch-Sacks.

Your self-appointed nick names (Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, Jolie) never caught on. Because they were terrible. Your colleagues came up with better ones - although we will not let you take ours.

From behind the receptionist desk of Dr. Flynn on Bard Avenue to a summer rental in Seaside Heights, you were destined to become one of the great reality stars of our generation. But something went horribly wrong.

You were - let's face it - a cold bitch. And made no friends. And weren't very interesting, except when you were yelling at people. Then, just like that, you left us.

Like a jilted lover, we took you back for this season's Miami escapade. You continued a pattern of losing friends and making bad nicknames. Missing a bathroom wastebasket with an unfortunate piece of refuse reinforced your casting as a 'dirty little hamster.' Even the Fossil watch given to you by an Latin suitor was undeserved.

Your surprise smush with Vinny - a classic display of unfettered carnal desire, without consequence, or a care - the only redeeming quality of your Miami experience.

It doesn't take much to become a reality superstar. The Situation makes millions off his rock solid abs; Ronnie rides his coke habit like a modern day Tony Montana.

You had your chance at immortality. You blew it, Angelina. Good riddance. Get thee to a nunnery.

SI homophobes go berserk

2010-10-05T01:22:00.003-04:00

A Staten Islander is facing hate crime charges after a blatant bias attack at an historic West Village bar early on Sunday.

Matthew Francis, 21, and Christopher Orlando, 17, apparently walked into a gay bar and got upset when they met gay people.

"Get away from me, f----t!" Francis yelled, according to Assistant District Attorney Kiran Sing. "I don't like gay people. Don't pee next to me."

He is now being held on $10,000 bail and charged with assault as a hate crime. Orlando got out after his mommy and daddy ponied up the $10 Gs.

What makes the incident so disturbing (besides the fact that it is 2010) was that it happened at the Stonewall - a bar is synonymous with the gay rights movement.

Back in the '60s, cops would bust into the Stonewall every so often and beat the crap out of everyone. And they got away with it - until the patrons started fighting back.

The 'Stonewall riots' were seen as a rallying cry to an oppressed minority who would, hopefully, no longer have to face bigots and closet queens parading through the neighborhood to start trouble.

Not sure what exactly Matthew Francis, pictured above, was thinking. The irony, however, was not lost on his victim, Ben Carver:

"Got gay bashed while peeing in the bathroom at the Stonewall bar, where the gay rights movement began. Ironic right?" Carver wrote on Facebook. "Guys wanted money. Cops got them."

Staten Island has the best garbage

2010-10-04T11:03:00.002-04:00

It's nice when other people find treasure in our trash.

Whether it's Tony Danza, Ed Hardy T-shirts at the Mall, or Angelina from the Jersey Shore: Staten Island is like one huge Curb Alert on Craigslist. You're not expecting to find anything good, but when you do you're surprised.

The following video was taken by the radio station WNYC (they know we can't see this on the radio, right?). Percussionist Magnus Lindberg (awesome porn name) is at a junkyard somewhere near the Bayonne banging on drums, tanks, rims, pipes, knick-knacks, do-dads - anything that will make a sound.

The guys who own the yard must have thought he was out of his damn mind.

The Finish composer was looking for used scrap metal to bang on. He naturally came to the only borough that could deliver. Lindberg is gonna make a whole orchestra out of junk. Don't miss the premiere at Avery Fisher Hall.

Watch around 2:20 when a guy goes all Max Roach on a bunch of junk.

Why we should vote: Jim DeMint

2010-10-03T11:49:00.003-04:00

Politics is boring, amirite?

Sometimes we wonder what the hell those guys do down in DC, anyways. And the elections can seem like one ineffective milquetoast candidate against some old white, god-fearing 'patriot'.

We have our own competitive House race in Staten Island. And the Right-wingers have a huge boner over it. Normal people just want the trash picked up and maybe a job.

But every so often a story pops up that scares the bejesus out of us with the prospect of the GOP taking control of this country once again, and reminds us that we should probably head to the polls in November.

Meet Jim DeMint. A crusading social conservative. DeMint is a US Senator from South Carolina.

If the Republicans take over in Washington, it'll be guys like DeMint in charge, trying to repeal legislation and get us "realigned with our Savior.” Yeah, he said that.

DeMint doesn't like gay people - or, women in general.

According to the Spartanburg Herald-Journal, the guy went all stone-age at a recent 'Freedom Rally' in South Carolina:

"DeMint said if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn't be teaching in the classroom and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who's sleeping with her boyfriend — she shouldn't be in the classroom."

Notice how unmarried MEN get a pass on this one. (Don't hate the playa).

Also, with all this nonsense about Sharia Law going around it's ironic that a Republican politician is seeking to impose Taliban-like restriction on unchaste women.

The GOP uses these grandiose themes about 'taking the country back.' But, to do what exactly? Cut taxes and shove people back in the closet? I'd rather have my garbage picked up.

Media Column: Newspapers

2010-10-01T17:18:00.005-04:00

Once upon a time, every small town had their own newspaper filled with fun, exciting, and illuminating information.

But somewhere in the last 10 years the whole business model imploded leaving communities without news, or with an abbreviated version of it.

The industry is in dire straits, and nobody knows how to save it.

These traditional companies spend inordinate amounts of cash on expenses such as printing, advertising, sales, a bloated newsroom.

Readers have gone somewhere else (the internets?). Classified advertising has gone to Craiglist, real estate to Zillow.

Web sites have had a poor response to the changing climate and influx of readers. Popular sites like HuffingtonPost and Gothamist simply aggregate news from the old media and repackage it for the new - presto.

This is not a way to build a sustainable business - on the back of someone else's crumbling one.

----

This won't help though.

Newspapers are built on a foundation of sound editorial judgement and trust with the general public. Not to mention a solid business plan and advertising market.

Web sites come and go. Blogs are notoriously lazy, inaccurate, hyper-partisan, and, generally, unreliable.

Some communities around the country have created grassroots hyper-local projects for the web out of the ashes of dead papers, or laid-off newsrooms. And some have worked. But a clear revenue model that can be duplicated elsewhere simply does not exist.

It's not clear how things will shake out. Some people are saying it will all go mobile, others are putting their money on tablets like the iPad. But one thing is clear: whatever or however it is that we receive information and communicate 20 years from now, it will be drastically different than anything we've seen before.

Blogs will be as ancient as a soapbox preacher and those PC towers - a typewriter that collects dust.

Milhouse at some place called the Joint?

2010-10-01T12:34:00.008-04:00

We found this video on YouTube.

It purports to be a heavy rock band called 'Milhouse' and the vid is taken from a Staten Island music venue.

It looks like it was taken with a cell phone camera, but the grainy-ness at the start implies some type of old-fashioned video camera.

The music is loud - sorta like early Arcade Fire, but with more screamos. Maybe this is what lo-fi sounded like in the 90s.

The crowd. They are all stoned. and drunk. just look at them. And we did some research - turns out they only eat fruit.

The venue. It's at a place called The Joint, which is supposedly on Staten Island - but we could NOT find it on Foursquare. So maybe they meant Long Island.

And there's no Wikipedia entry for Milhouse (band) so they might as well not even exist.

There is a fight at the end. Maybe the whole thing was staged to create a meme - like Antoine Dobson, or the double rainbow guy.

Video after the be-dunk:

Bad day at the office for Crazy Carl Paladino

2010-09-29T22:29:00.004-04:00

Carl Paladino's campaign for Governor of New York hit a bump in the road Wednesday - and then drove right off the fucking cliff.

Paladino, in case you haven't heard, is that crazy bastard who loves Staten Island. He wants to be your next Governor.

In defense of Richmond County Republicans, they didn't vote for him in the primary. He was defeated narrowly in our borough by Rick Lazio. And the Boro President Oswald Copperpot has even said that Paladino "has to tone himself down." (Coming from this guy, that's saying a lot.)

He now faces Attorney General Andrew Cuomo in the general election.

This morning we were greeted with this video from Fox 5, where a sweaty Paladino is defending himself against charges of racism and malfeasance.

'I'm not a racist' is not a good way to start a day, or a campaign for governor. Strike 1.

Then Paladino - who has an illegitimate child - accused Andrew Cuomo of cheating on his ex-wife, telling Politico reporter Maggie Haberman that she should ask Cuomo about his "paramours."

There was no evidence for this, (strike 2) which led to the third and final mishap of Paladino's day - three strikes and a nail in the coffin of his political career.

He is seen below arguing with New York Post's Fred Dicker after being confronted about the affair allegations (we hear they have a history). And Paladino explodes.

"You send another goon to my daughter's house and I'll take you out, buddy!" Paladino tells Dicker.

Chaos ensues. Classic political buffoonery. This one's going viral.

Visit the real Staten Island Dump

2010-09-29T18:29:00.004-04:00

It's the moment we've all been waiting for.

This Sunday, Oct. 3 is your first chance to get a 'Sneak Peak' at the new and improved Freshkills Park, aka Freshkills Landfill, aka the original Staten Island Dump.

One of the world's largest landfills is now New York City's largest park - so take that Prospect and Central - and Sunday's park-a-palooza is the first time the general public can see this grand renewal project.

The itinerary is jam packed with family fun: canoeing, birdwatching, kite flying, live music, pony rides, art & crafts, Swedish Marionette Theatre.

There will be guided tours from people with degrees that work for the Dept. of Sanitation. We're guessing they will explain to us how safe this all is.

So bring the wife (or husband) and the kids (or grab someone else's) a pack a picnic blanket because this is a day we will never forget, a game-changer for the legacy of Staten Island.

To think as a kid that I would one day be standing atop those tremendous piles of shit -- it's almost like going to the moon.

New York City is killing Gil Scott-Heron

2010-09-27T22:40:00.008-04:00

You can get lost in New York City.

Lost in the architecture, the whirl of taxi cabs, the sprawling parks. You can find solace in both the plaid red table cloth in a Times Square steakhouse and the slow drip of water as it falls onto the rat infested subway tracks on a drizzly fall day.

The new video by Gil Scott-Heron displays the darkness of this city, through the lens of a man begging to escape its madness.

In a places like Staten Island, technically part of NYC, there are more trees per capita, by any informal analysis, than other areas of the metropolis. But its polar opposite could be a ferry and subway fare away, in Harlem, where Gil Scott-Heron is holed up in his dark apartment, watching old boxing videos and sucking on a glass pipe.

The man who made a '60s counter-culture slogan with one poetic line -- 'The revolution will not be televised' -- is seen in this Chris Cunningham video, fading in and out of black along with his poetry, as the roar of a subway car alludes a man trapped by the bridges, elevated trains, and skyscrapers that surround him.

The New Yorker piece written about the artist recently reads more like a premature obituary. But whether the Big Apple, or crack, is killing him, Scott-Heron is still here - trapped in New York City with the rest of us.

Gil Scott-Heron "New York Is Killing Me"

Worst landlord ever?

2010-09-27T10:38:00.001-04:00

Guess this guy's not getting his security deposit back.

When 27-year-old Carlos Rivera was shot down in the relatively-peaceful neighborhood of Sunnyside on Friday rumors abound as to who done it.

Was it a drug deal gone wrong? Something to do with his Latin sounding name? Might Sunnyside Staten Island turning into Sunnyside, Queens?

It turns out it may have been none of these things, and the attack may have been directed by the young man's landlord.

According to the Daily News "police said there was an ongoing argument between the landlord and Rivera's mother over whether the son was on the lease."

Maybe he could have just turned to radio down a couple of notches.

On a side note: we promise to pay our rent on time this month, and no more wild parties - scout's honor.

Who killed Mike Grimm's (fake) Twitter account?

2010-09-24T01:32:00.010-04:00

In this new media environment politicians don't have to shake hands or kiss babies to win elections - they just need a Twitter account.

Don't believe us? Just ask @SarahPalinUSA

The revolution will not be televised; it will be live-streaming on your cell phone.

So it's no surprise that the two candidates for Staten Island's most important public office took to the Internets and got themselves a social media presence on both the Facebook and the Twitter.

We were a bit curious, however, when someone set up a fake account for Congressman Mike McMahon. The anonymous user tweets 'jokes' every so often, like this one:

Another hate crime in Staten Island! Some guy on Hylan Blvd just called me "tubby."

The account has 12 followers.

Anyways, a fake account popped up for McMahon's opponent Mike Grimm Thursday. The jokes were just as bad, but the account has been suspended.

What happened here: Did Grimm use his FBI connects to shut down the account? Or, did TheGrimmTruth just realize that making bad jokes about Mike Grimm and the Tea Party is our job?

Update: (Not)MikeGrimm @TheGrimmTruth is back!

Movie Reviews: Not on Staten Island

2010-09-23T11:10:00.004-04:00

The Dump would like to review two new movies currently out in the theaters: 'Catfish' and 'I'm Still Here.'

'Catfish' is the creepy, Facebook-inspired dystopian social network documentary, and 'I'm Still Here' is the Joaquin Phoenix mockumentary that managed to fool everybody while getting blistering - though misguided - reviews in the process.

They may not be blockbusters, but both are compelling new films generating buzz and conversation throughout the city. Also, both are not playing on Staten Island.

Once again, like in the 'Brokeback Mountain' and 'Milk' debacles, Island theaters continue to avoid arthouse, while appealing to the lowest common denominator at the same time.

Case in point: 'Machete.' Despite the gory B-movie aspect and second-tier status 'Machete' is, indeed, playing on Staten Island.

'Machete' is described in this review as a "‘Mexploitation’ film that has the gall to call out the anti-immigration sentiment storming across the country."

Sound perfect for Staten Island. It's kitschy, sure, but it also gives bigots an outlet for entertainment and confirms their base, xenophobic fears.

Wonder if this person saw 'Machete'? If not, we highly recommend it to them. It's playing at the UA Stadium 16 with other flicks like 'Eat, Pray, Love' and 'Wall Street.'

In the meantime, here's Joaquin Phoenix from last night's appearance on the 'Late Show with David Letterman.'

Lincoln Restler and the hipsters take over Brooklyn politics

2010-09-23T09:47:00.000-04:00

After a lengthy lingering count from last week's primary, upstart young Allen Ginsberg look-a-like Lincoln Restler won an election for some political committee thing in Williamsburg and Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

"This is a tremendous victory for the reform movement in Brooklyn," Restler told the Brooklyn Paper.

Why is this important? Well, Restler took on the Democratic machine and the big fat political boss Vito Lopez. Restler had support from the blogs (do they hold the future of political fortunes?) and he pulled out the newbie residents, young professionals, and trustafarians who live in Williamsburg.

And Restler is just part of the New Kings Democrats coalition.

It's nice to see a neighborhood rally around young idealists who are concerned with fringe causes like the 'environment,' 'public health,' and 'issues of development.'

Will the North Shore of Staten Island ever start throwing some young progressives in the political ring? Or, will everyone keep moving away when they find enlightenment in the outer reaches of Colorado and Jersey City?

What will Governor Paladino give Staten Island?

2010-09-22T19:56:00.000-04:00

Get your wish list out.

A new poll came out Wednesday morning that showed crazy Carl Paladino inching closer toward Andrew Cuomo in the race to be bring a baseball bat to Albany.

This is great news! Why? Because, Carl Paladino loooves Staten Island -- even though we didn't vote for him and our local paper can't even spell his name correctly.

So, if crazy Carl is elected governor, we pretty much get anything we want, right? Here's a few things Staten Island could get from Governor Paladino:

WINGS: Sure we have Planet Wings, Chic N Bones, Dugout Pub, and Big Nose Kate's - but Carl is from Buffalo. Imagine the possibilities. Endless 50 cent Hot Wing specials every night of the week - by law. If anyone can make it happen, it's this guy. Yes, he can!

Guns: Paladino is 'fully committed to repealing gun control laws that have received bipartisan support in New York.' That means everybody gets.. GUNS! Shotguns, handguns, rifles, AK 47, Tec 9. Who needs a 'well-regulated militia'? The streets of Staten will be much safer once we have unrestricted access to our Second Amendment rights.

Prisons: Not for criminals, silly. These prisons will be for housing people on welfare, so they can work for that government handout and take lessons in 'hygiene.' We are not making this shit up people -- kinda wish we were.

Racist emails: Every Staten Islander can recieve a daily email blast from the Governor of the New York State. Sometimes racist, or maybe hardcore porn, and if you're real lucky -- bestiality. (Those are NSFW, unless you work for Carl Paladino.)

The evils of Obamacare! Revealed

2010-09-22T12:58:00.018-04:00

by Johnny Patriot

We at the Staten Island Tea Party recently called for Congressman Mike McMahon to help repeal the new health care reform law passed by President Obama: Obamacare.

Here's the Tea Party take on this: Medicare, Social Security, earmarks for local transportation and military spending - these are all legitimate forms of government handouts.

But this 'Obamacare' just goes too far. When will we stop this nanny-state that gives people free rides?

It is just a matter of time before the Death Panels kick in, and the red shirts starting invading our homes and clubbing our children.

Now there is proof that this massive government scheme is turning into the evil nightmare we at the Tea Party were warning you about.

Take a look at this piece of propaganda that shows how 'Obamacare' is ruining the country:

(Update: Call to Action) We need to stop the insanity. Call Mike McMahon's office, and say this:

1. Keep the government out of my Medicare.

2. Also, keep those Social Security checks flowing to my mini-mansion in Prince's Bay. (I need to refurbish the addition on my patio after that last storm.)

3. And, most importantly, do NOT allow poor people who are sick obtain affordable health care - 'cause that's socialism.

Tell 'em Johnny Patriot sent you.

Jersey Shore: Angelina is the Staten Island Ferry?

2010-09-22T08:57:00.001-04:00

On a recent episode of 'Jersey Shore,' Mike The Situation Sorrentino served up an insightful metaphor about Staten Island's sexiest administrative-dental-assistant Angelina.

"Angelina is just like the Staten Island ferry. It's free and everybody gets a ride."

Great line, Mr. Situation. Who's writing your jokes, anyways?

As ferry riders, we were intrigued by his remark. But, however apt the analogy, it left us with an even more pressing concern:

If Angelina was the Staten Island Ferry, which ferry would she be? It's a tough choice - we looked into the options:

Andrew J. Barberi:

This is the obvious choice. Why obvious, you say? Well, it just so happens that the Barberi crashed in 2003 when the captain was drunk or on pills or something. The fixed the boat, and then it crashed again in May due to a mechanical failure. It would seem that this perpetually doomed ferry is a perfect fit for the self-destructive, live-fast-die, aspect of Jersey Shore culture. But, this is too easy. There must be a better choice.

Samuel I. Newhouse:

Nah. Way too old. If you're ever on the Newhouse ferry and some stranger walked up to you and said, 'Hey, It's 1973' you would totally believe them. In fact, the Newhouse ferry is a bit like 'Lost.' It's a sideways flashback every time you get on and you're not sure which version of reality is valid: the one before you boarded the Newhouse or this 1973-looking ferry boat with its awful, staid yellow and blue seats.

John F. Kennedy:

The Kennedy is not only old (built in '65) but it's spent and used up with its scratched wooden seats, marked with the notches of every graffiti dude who slummed it to Staten in the past four or five decades. So, not Angelina yet. But maybe in 20 years or so -- get back to us.

Alice Austen:

No offense to Miss Austen herself ("one of America's earliest and most prolific female photographers") but this is clearly the most pitiful of all ferry boats. In fact, we are pretty sure they only haul this thing out after 3 a.m. for all the poor saps who work late and the crackheads who need a trip back to the Island. Even Angelina has more class than this piece of shit.

Spirit of America:

The Spirit of America ferry boat (2004) is a fantastic, voluptuous piece of machinery -- shiny, agile, and still has that new ferry smell. Of course, it has weathered its storms but the boat still just manages to look so damn good. Lest we forget that the Spirit has by far the best bottom floor. Also, the upper 'Hurricane Deck' accentuates the boat with an extra boost of space in the most important place up top - and provides tourists with a great viewing experience!

Welcome to Staten Island: 'If you don't leave, I'll shoot you'

2010-09-21T16:50:00.006-04:00

The New York Post has the latest news item from our terribly-branded neighborhood of Port Richmond.

Jonas Vidals is a truck driver who recently moved his family into the area because he thought it would be safer than Sunset Park, Brooklyn.

He was standing outside his house Saturday with his wife when three men from an apartment building nearby allegedly shouted anti-Mexican slurs and threatened him.

"If you don't leave, I'll shoot you," they yelled.

What, no fuitcake? This is not the way Staten Islanders welcome their new neighbors.

How to be in the new Paragraph video

2010-09-20T18:47:00.007-04:00

Wanna take a 'Powernap' with the crunk-funk band Paragraph?

The Staten Island group is filming a video for their electro-glitch extravaganza Tuesday night at the Brickyard Gastropub in midtown.

You can listen to 'Powernap' here!!! And this is what an actual music writer said about the song back in May:

"Paragraph has unleashed a dance-floor carpet bomb with their new track, 'Powernap,' a fuzzy, wuzzy, scuzzy headbanger that drunkenly staggers a fine line between Daft Punk and actual punk."

Wow. That's some strong words from somebody who was once called the last rock critic standing.

According to the FB invite for Tuesday's event the directors need "people that are willing to party, and have a good time, on camera for a wild video."

Count us in! Also, glow sticks will be provided. See y'all there.

When: Tomorrow at 9:30pm

Where: Brickyard Gastro Pub 51st and 9th Manhattan, NY

Gano Grills at the Alice Austen House (video)

2010-09-20T11:26:00.005-04:00

A tipster sent in this video of local artist and actor Gano Grills speaking at the Alice Austen House Museum on Saturday.

Gano is known for his graffiti work and acting in television shows like 'Law and Order,' 'Oz' and movies like 'Cadillac Records' and 'Bamboozled.'

The event was a benefit to honor volunteers and community leaders who assist the Universal Temple for the Arts, an organization based on Jersey street in Staten Island.

Some of the honored recipients were people who have devoted their time to teach and inspire young artists in the under served community and help the organization further its mission: Robert Sievert, Sharon Broadnax, Mary Bullock, Gano Grills, Lorenzo Hail, Edward Ladner.

Each honoree received a certificate citation for their service from Assemblyman Matthew Titone and Congressman Mike McMahon.

Here is a short video of Gano speaking at the event:

Guidos gone viral

2010-09-18T15:14:00.000-04:00

After the latest Staten Island mini-viral sensation, 'Staten Island Girls,' some faux-guido guys wanted to get in on the action.

These five brave Staten Island youngsters are auditioning (?) for the next season of ‘Jersey Shore.’

They have the blowout down to a science, Ed Hardy gear in tact, pretentious sunglasses, and chains too!

The wannabe viral video doesn’t include any singing, but give the guys credit for the choreography – from ‘semi-robot’ to ‘fist-pump’ to one guy jumping on the bed. It’s inspirational.

Weezer is broken statue with four toes

2010-09-17T14:10:00.000-04:00

We should be well acquainted with the Rivers Cuomo marketing technique by now. Have you not seen the ridiculous album covers? Maybe you heard the oddball collaborations with Lil Wayne and Kenny G? Well, then you must have purchased the Weezer Snuggie.

This season, the perennial meme-generators bring us "Hurley" - an album whose patron saint is the character from the now-defunct hit television show "Lost." Oh, and there’s a beaming shot of actor Jorge Garcia plastered on the cover.

"I just loved this photo of Jorge Garcia," Rivers told AOL Music. "It just had this amazing vibe."

But more than the “vibe” it's fitting how the band chose to associate with this particular show. Each one is a pop culture phenomenon that continues to perplex their fans with elaborate stunts. With “Lost,” we were intrigued with kernels of faux-philosophy and allusions to revered scientists. Weezer elevated nerds to their full glory in the ‘90s with horn-rimmed glasses and wide-eyed lyrics about Dungeons & Dragons and Buddy Holly. We fell from them both, and they convinced us that they held secrets and insights to our lives. But in the end they failed to deliver anything except disappointment and regret.

What’s been missing from Rivers' work for the past decade has been his sincerity. And “Hurley” is another recycled watered-down version of a Weezer album.

There’s a brief glimpse of pre-Harvard Rivers on “Unspoken,” a genuine power ballad that shows the songwriter unvarnished – with acoustic guitar, even. "Our life will be broken, our hate will be unspoken," he utters in the refrain. It’s the only moment on “Hurley” where you hear some conviction beneath what this man is singing. And it makes the eventual crescendo of distortion an actual payoff rather than a convenient diversion.

But this feeling of redemption and relief is quickly obliterated by "Where's my Sex?" - a juvenile and unconvincing song that is actually about losing one’s socks. Do we really give a shit if Rivers finds his “sex?” And, whether it’s “under the rug” or “stuck in a shoe closet?” He certainly doesn’t sing like he even gives a shit. And, why would he?

When Rivers sang about sex on “Pinkerton” he gave us confessional lines like, “I’m spread so thin, I don’t know who I am.” These are honest revelations from a man suddenly and completely bombarded by stardom. Trying unsuccessfully to deal with this new outpouring of “attention.” “Hurley” is bereft of any such resignations.

The album’s opening track "Memories" maintains that - Hey, the 90s were cool, right? - but fails to conjure up any images from that decade that are actually worth remembering (Hacky Sacks, techno music?!). On “Smart Girls,” Rivers talks about girls and stuff, how rad they are and all. But perhaps the most hollow and pitiful lyrics come from “Brave New World:”

“This is the dawning of a brave new world /
I don’t know where I’m going, but I know I’ll figure it out, Yeaaah!”

Besides giving Aldous Huxley an aneurysm Rivers is being completely disingenuous. If he truly didn’t care about where he’s going, he’d be making “Songs from the Black Hole” – the lost, Pinkerton-era, sci-fi rock opera that never saw the light of day. Instead, he’s churning out “The Blue Album for Tweens.”

When Rivers sang about "12-sided die" on "In the Garage" it was cute, and referential. We were right there in that garage with him and you could feel the collective embrace of D&D freaks around the country. Here, on songs like "Trainwrecks" (actual name) he insists, "We don't update our blogs." That’s just pathetic and pandering. It’s like Weezer Mad Libs – simply replace the nouns to fit the generation.

The band has always modeled themselves after Kiss - a sort-of grotesque marketing template for rock bands. Gene Simmons turned that group into a brand that became more famous than the music itself. And one can imagine what happens to the psyche of a pop-punk songwriter after he’s received an Ivy-league education. It seems that Rivers Cuomo is intent on delivering whatever iteration of Weezer he thinks his fans want to like to buy.

Critics have charged that the artist is regressing, becoming trapped in a teenage fantasy - becoming more immature and irrelevant the older he gets. I'd say he is becoming something much, much worse – a rock star.

Firefighters rescue sinking car after 'tornado'

2010-09-16T22:40:00.021-04:00

That was scary. Thursday night's almost-tornado tore down trees all over the North Shore, and knocked out power in Tottenville.

We even found a car sinking off Richmond Terrace -- and people were inside.

They took a wrong turn and drove right into a flooded street.

"The water's coming up" - kid in the back seat.

Firefighters were on the scene.

They told us there might be a live wire in the water. So the three people stuck inside couldn't swim out.

"You in the back," the firefighter said. "Last year, we had a guy in Queens, stuck in the car, got out in the water with his girlfriend. They both got electrocuted, and died."

He stopped complaining.

Here's what happened next:

some pics:

Another huge win for Michael Grimm

2010-09-15T23:24:00.006-04:00

Two days in a row.

We wanted to congratulate Michael Grimm on his big win tonight.

It seems one day after bagging the Republican nomination for Staten Island's Congressional seat, Mike Grimm also won a TV talent contest.

Grimm was preparing for his challenge against Democrat Mike McMahon in November's midterm election. But first, he had to sing a little song.

The FBI agent, former Marine, and sexy blues singer Michael Grimm was revealed Wednesday night the winner of 'America's Got Talent,' the wanna-be 'American Idol' on NBC.

No word yet from the McMahon campaign on whether they will challenge Grimm to a karaoke contest at the Cargo Cafe.

We are sure the $1 million prize will help Grimm's campaign. Here's a video from his epic take on the Al Green classic, 'Tired of Being Alone.' Had no idea he was such a good singer - and can play geetar.

Post-primary hangover: the stench of racist emails and Jesus Freaks

2010-09-15T13:41:00.006-04:00

So yesterday was primary day.

In local events Mike Grimm beat Mike Allegretti -- whatevs, not sure many people actually give a shit.

On Staten Island, Grimm bagged 6,797 votes. That's about 1.5 percent of the Island's population. You could probably get more than 1.5 percent of Staten Island to vote the "The Situation" if he was on the ballot.

The more interesting results came from the Republican primary for Governor of New York State, where a crazy racist e-mailer, cruised to victory over the flailing Rick Lazio.

Paladino has some very inventive ideas about how to reform state government including baseball bats, calling Jewish people Hitler, and sending welfare recipients to prison. But for the past few years, Paladino has been busy sending around racist emails.

The full monty has been uncovered by wnymedia.net. Some of the highlights are (don't click unless you actually want to see what is described) neo-Nazi Obama propaganda, racist jokes about Africa, porn, racist Obama again, porn, more porn, ugly racism, and, honestly not sure - something involving animals and sex.

It could be possible that Paladino was hitting the forward button innocently, unknowingly sending dirty, misogynist, white power, emails to a long list of Buffalo officials and state workers.

But here's the thing. When confronted about the offensive content in the e-mails Paladino actually responded by defending himself. His logic is antiquated, old-man stuff, complete with a gamut of ethnic slurs ("dago," "spic," "polack"). It's like someone transported Archie Bunker's armchair from the 1970's right into Carl Paladino's office:

Congrats, Republicans: you've managed to nominate the most unelectable politician in recent history.

New York Jets can't contain themselves

2010-09-14T12:06:00.009-04:00

When Mexican reporter, and alleged hottie, Ines Sainz went to Jets practice to interview Mark Sanchez the team could not control themselves.

"I entered the locker room and there were some comments and some games," Sainz told DeporTV. "I want to make clear that in no moment did I even feel offended, much less at risk or in danger while there. It was simply a situation that got out of hand."

The NFL and the Jets are looking into the situation, possibly taking disciplinary measures.

But then the inevitable backlash: people are now claiming she deserved it, because, well she's so damn sexy that she should expect sexual harassment.(!?)

We don't know what kind of sadistic man cave these people are living in. But in the interest of serious investigative journalism we decided to take a look at the evidence.

In-depth report after the jump:

She looks great in a bathing suit!

Here she is at work: low cut top in the back, and perhaps one of the most symmetrically valid backsides we've ever seen.

Very nice posture.

Some normal work attire.

Modestly dressed, still looks damn sexy.

Bottom line analysis: this woman's curves can not be contained by your normal everyday 'clothing.' She is simply too voluptuous to constrain herself with boring 'reporter-wear.' This is just a natural fact of science. Nothing can be done about it.

However, professional football players should not act like junior high school students. She's not your gym teacher, she's a reporter (a very curvaceous one) just trying to do her job. Shame on you Jets!