Beware of the annual turkey story

What a coincidence. Every year, just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, a bunch of turkey stories waddle right out off Seaview Avenue and into the pages of the local dailies.

Do turkeys send out a press release, or is it just the time of the year when editors say: "They have turkeys out in Staten Island, don't they? Go drive out there and see if you can find a few."

And find turkeys they did.

"Thanksgiving may be two weeks away, but every day is turkey day for a quiet section of New York City's Staten Island." -CNN

Cute, but a conspiracy theory lurks nearby, in the hot dog cart.

"About 12 years ago somebody dropped two turkeys off down by the psychiatric center." -hot dog guy

This could be a new urban legend, like Cropsey. What happens when turkeys attack?

"It was straight out of 'Cujo. I'm sitting in my car Facebooking on my phone when turkeys jumped on my windshield."   -NYDN

Terrifying. What do the turkeys have against Facebooking? Can someone wrap this situation up in one quotable sentence that invokes the true nature of the holiday season?

"I have the perfect spot for these turkeys, right between my mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce."

Perfect. The humans win. Enjoy the video: