Wahoo Skiffles vs Paragraph

There's not much time left, you need to make a decision quick.

Tonight's Staten Island musical entertainment hinges on the decision of seeing the Wahoo Skiffle Crazies with The Devyl Nellys at Cargo Cafe or Paragraph with Captain Ahab and the Sea Crackens at Bar Matchless in Williamsburg.

(Update: Dead Set on Destruction is playing tonight in Asbury Park for those who like loudness, mayhem, and pure undeniable punk hook bliss.)

We've tried to break it down to help y'all with your decision:

- Wahoos have a really long crazy name, so does Captain Ahab: tie

- Paragraph is a group of damn sexy guys, the Devyl Nellys have a cute chic and a dude with a scrumptious five-o'clock-shadow: +1 Matchless

- Wahoos have a ukulele, Captain Ahab has an organ: +1 Cargo

- Matchless good beer selection, unconfirmed rumors abound that Cargo's "wine selection is WACK!!!" +1 Matchless

-Cargo has Sal the bartender, Matchless has George, the tall guy with the beard: +2 Cargo

- Wahoos have a song about Vito Fossella (Don Draper of Staten Island) +3

-Cargo has a pool table, Matchless has a pool table, foosball, and outdoor smoking area. +2 Matchless

-Matchless has energetic surf rock, crunky dance-funk and Cargo has enchanting folk jug band with off-Island talent. tie?

- Williamsburg is the hipster capital of the universe, the North Shore is the hipster capital of Staten Island: -1.5 Matchless

It's a tough call, it'll be a nice night out - we hope y'all have fun.