A new poll came out Wednesday morning that showed crazy Carl Paladino inching closer toward Andrew Cuomo in the race to be bring a baseball bat to Albany.
This is great news! Why? Because, Carl Paladino loooves Staten Island -- even though we didn't vote for him and our local paper can't even spell his name correctly.
So, if crazy Carl is elected governor, we pretty much get anything we want, right? Here's a few things Staten Island could get from Governor Paladino:
WINGS: Sure we have Planet Wings, Chic N Bones, Dugout Pub, and Big Nose Kate's - but Carl is from Buffalo. Imagine the possibilities. Endless 50 cent Hot Wing specials every night of the week - by law. If anyone can make it happen, it's this guy. Yes, he can!
Guns: Paladino is 'fully committed to repealing gun control laws that have received bipartisan support in New York.' That means everybody gets.. GUNS! Shotguns, handguns, rifles, AK 47, Tec 9. Who needs a 'well-regulated militia'? The streets of Staten will be much safer once we have unrestricted access to our Second Amendment rights.
Prisons: Not for criminals, silly. These prisons will be for housing people on welfare, so they can work for that government handout and take lessons in 'hygiene.' We are not making this shit up people -- kinda wish we were.
Racist emails: Every Staten Islander can recieve a daily email blast from the Governor of the New York State. Sometimes racist, or maybe hardcore porn, and if you're real lucky -- bestiality. (Those are NSFW, unless you work for Carl Paladino.)
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