LOST finale and other epic let-downs

Last week we learned that the LOST finale, pretty much like the entire final season, was an insanely huge let down of epic proportions.

Basically, instead of expounding on the many mysteries that made the show so compelling (and the island an endless metaphor for our seemingly routine, mundane daily lives) the show's creators instead decided to end on a sweet-and-sour note, one that resembled more of a early-afternoon soap opera than the pith of sci-fi graphic novels. It was a disaster.

Sure, there are people out there who think that this was an amazing ending to an amazing show. But those people are wrong. The LOST finale goes down in history as one of the biggest let down of our millennial lives.

Here is a list of some of the other major disappointments:

Mike Grimm won't back down

Mike Grimm, a contender for the Republican nomination to oust Mike McMahon from his congressional seat in the 2010 election, has a smoldering fire in his belly.

The possible candidate has been on the wrong end of some inter-party country club politics over the past few weeks, but has vowed to keep on trucking.

"I believe our country is on a very dangerous path," Grimm said when we spoke with him last month. "People are angry. People are more conservative here and they are not for a Nancy Pelosi agenda."

Then the roof at the Hilton Garden Inn started to cave on Grimm.

Goodbye to the Cromwell Center

When the pier holding the Cromwell Center above the New York Harbor crumbled like a building of lego blocks word started to spread that this could be a big tragedy.

Were their children inside? Is anyone trapped? Is this a "shopping pier"!? (Queens Crap changed the headline)

Luckily, the Cromwell Center has been closed recently, meaning that the center was not packed with kids when it collapsed. Sadly however, the real tragedy is more nuanced than a screaming tabloid headline can bear.

Those guys building a mosque on Staten Island are 'totally not terrorists'

Recently a Roman Catholic Church sold a former convent in the Midland Beach section of Staten Island. They sold it to a group called the Muslim American Society, and the organization planned on building a mosque there.

This being Staten Island and all, it didn't take long for the xenophobia to set in. Some locals grumbled, bloggers warned of the apocalypse, and the local paper ran a thorough report.

But this story won't go away any time soon. Especially after a spokesman for the Archdiocese of New York came out to "defend" the Muslim organization.

What's next for Staten Island's music scene?

There is a symposium tonight on the future state on SI music. We are sure this will be an enlightening discussion on the vibrant possibilities of this burgeoning local scene.

Date: Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Time: 7:30pm - 9:30pm

Location: Cargo Cafe, 120 Bay St.

So, what's next for the SI music scene anyhow? We came up with a few potential scenarios.

A waste of space on Van Duzer

We had high hopes going into last night's event at The Cup on Van Duzer street in Stapleton. The venue was hosting a night of music by some fine local talent. The line-up was decent, we read the place was renovated last year, recently a liquor license had finally been acquired (someone said on FB). So we went in with an open mind.

Sadly to say The Cup was a dour disappointment. This wouldn't be surprising except for the fact that they can do so much better given the space and financial investment, we guess, they put into into the place.

A few reasons to see Audiometry tonight

So instrumental rock band Audiometry is playing at The Cup tonight.

The Cup is a refurbished venue on Van Duzer street. Here are some reasons why you should go:

1. This band is actually good.
2. The Cup has a real, working sound system.
3. There is a stage!
4. It's only 5 to 10 bucks
5. They might serve alcohol, now.

Who's a bigger sleazeball: Vito Fossella or Eliot Spitzer?

A member of Staten Island GOP executive committee had some mind-bending comments about Vito Fossella's impending political comeback.

"A lot of time has passed," Tom McGinley told the New York Daily News. "It's been hashed out. It's old news."

Besides, he continued:

"Eliot Spitzer is sitting on 'Road to City Hall' every other week now."

Really, is this is good standard to hold yourself up to? Also, it begs the question: who is the bigger sleaze and/or major playa?

Vito: caught drivin drunk to the baby mama

Spitz: caught shaggin' thousand dollar hookers

discuss.

Staten Island can't say 'no' to Vito Fossella

It’s like Christmas in May.


Vito Fossella, the Don Draper of Staten Island, has just been endorsed by an executive committee of the SI GOP for the Republican nomination to get his old job back as congressman.


Everything I need to know about Islam I learned from 'Wu Tang Forever'

"Wu Tang is for the children."

That's what Old Dirty Bastard said during the 1998 Grammy Awards after he walked onstage (uninvited) during Shawn Colvin's acceptance speech for Song of the Year ("Sunny Came Home").

It turns out that ODB's diatribe, like so many of his spitfire verses, may have been more prophetic than we realized at the time.

For instance, look at Wu Tang Forever the sprawling double-disc from 1997. An epic, nearly two-hour, classic off almost no filler, all the main players (including Masta Killa, Cappadonna, even Shyheim) involved, and career-defining beats by the RZA.

So much can be written about this album. It could fill a 33 1/3 book. But let's start with the intro.

Everybody Loves (to make fun of) Staten: Elena Kagan edition

So the media found a great way to make fun of Staten Island this week.

Elena Kagan was nominated to the Supreme Court by President Obama, creating the possibility of four Supreme Court Justices from New York City. (We have a local angle!)

You see, nobody will read about the boring fact that Kagan was born in the Upper West Side, went to Hunter College High School, was editor of the Harvard Law review or served as White House Council under Bill Clinton.

That shit is boring.

What we really care about is that the court's nine member-panel already includes Sotomayor (Boogie Down Bronx) Ginsburg (Brooooklyn, ZOO) and Scalia (Queens? -- actually Trenton, NJ but play along).

Who is Dan Donovan?

Dan Donovan is currently the District Attorney for Staten Island and wants to run for Attorney General of New York State.

But, who the hell is Dan Donovan?

That's exactly what nine out of 10 Staten Islanders would ask if you stopped them in the street and told them the news.

And the one guy out of 10 who 'knows' him is really thinking of Dan O'Donovan, the old bartender from Jimmy Max.

Staten Island Poll on Daily News

Check this poll up at NYDailyNews.com 

the results are not looking good people:

Code-Switching on Staten Island

Sometimes they just hang up on her.

When Princess Gaye, a 16-year-old Liberian refugee, goes job hunting over the phone prospective employers sometimes simply hang up the phone after hearing her thick Liberian accent.

It happens so often that Princess has learned to mask her native dialect, almost comically.

She overcompensates by using valley girl-esque mallrat speech, peppered with the words such as "like" and "ya'know."

Apparently this practice, or variations of it, is a common action known as code-switching.

Mikey in the middle, Vito Fossella's back?

Everybody wants Mike McMahon's congressional seat.

McMahon is a freshman Democrat representing the 13th district in New York which includes all of Staten Island and a few Brooklyn neighborhoods.

There are two other Mike's who want his seat.

Former FBI agent and Gulf War Veteran Mike Grimm.

Former Brooklynite and all-around nice guy Mike Allegretti.

And, now, possibly, former congressman and dapper dan Vito Fossella.

Vito is beloved on Staten Island. In fact, he reportedly got a standing ovation at a recent GOP event, according to Advance reporter Tom Wrobleski.

Now, the Daily News says that Vito "may get into the race.”

Maybe we can put that whole love child situation behind once and for all.

How about it Staten Island? What do you say? Can we forgive Vito?

(btw, props to Flint for getting the best picture of McMahon eva.)

Tallest Man on Earth

Does this guy sound a lot like Bob Dylan?

His voice is creepily cool and we think he is awesome.

His real name in Kristian Matsson.

Matsson is from Sweden and his last album, Shallow Grave, was good. His new album, The Wild Hunt, is great.

Here's a new video from p4k tv.

Tallest Man on Earth - "Wild Hunt"

How to comment on the Dump

Look, we don't ask for much. Or anything for that matter.

You see, TV is a mass medium. Newspapers are dying. Magazines don't give a shit about you.

The internet is a new place were vibrant communication can take place (or, not).

People will increasingly choose to define or identify with a certain place, art form, niche food stuffs, sexbots, by what they read -- and inevitably they will read this content over the new media known as the internets.

Well, that was a long wind-up, but we've had a long day.

Here's a guy who gets it. He found this site, perused it, left an epic comment that the rest of you assholes should aspire to duplicate in some form. That's right we are talking to you.

Here is the comment made on a classic Dump post from waaay back in March called L'douchebag comes to Staten Island

"I have had to take the ferry many times between 1pm and 3pm when it is jammed packed with tourists and I usually just play my music and ignore them but sometimes assholes like him ruin my day I one time got into a fight with a group of tourists because I was standing on the deck of i believe the newhouse just hiding in the corner enjoying the breeze and I was told I was standing in the "picture taking spot and unless i was taking pictures i should move" it took every ounce of control i had not to throw that fanny pack wearing douche from iowa overboard in short I HATE TOURISTS And the picture taking ass holes that ride the ferry."

 - anonymous   May 10, 2010 7:38 PM

Notice the passion, the detail, the poignant accuracy of 'fanny pack wearing douche from iowa'.

The Dump never deleted a comment (yet) and we hope we never have to.

But SI has to step up their game if they want to avoid the gross mischaracterization of this place in the mainstream media.

If the conversation doesn't take place here we hope it does somewhere else.

Mission Statement

We here at The Dump want to inform and possibly entertain Staten Island and, maybe, in the process enlighten the rest of the city (world?) about some of the finer aspects of this misunderstood borough.

We have touched on some of these tropes in the past: guido culture, white people, politics, indie rock, hipsters, sports, art, crime, fine dining.

We can not figure out Google Analytics. (We had our entire staff working 24/7 on this but just can't seem to crack it.)

But, we are pretty sure we have somewhere between 10 and 17 avid readers.

So to those people we'd like to ask a question:

What should the Dump focus on more?

We want to hear from the loyal readers. We promise to give the best in-depth reporting you can find on a shitty Staten Island blog.

 Again, we could totally ignore what you people vote on, but at least your voice will be heard (then politely ignored).

So, what will it be? The poll is posted. The onus is on you, dumpers.

Can we get some boats with breaks please?

Startin to think SI is getting the short end o' the Apple stem.

As you might be well aware there is no subway out here. The Verrazano Bridge has like a 14 dollar toll. And now this.

We know last time the ferry crashed the guy behind the wheel was three painkillers to the wind, but this time it seems to have been a 'mechanical failure.'

They started this big investigation. They can't seem to figure out why the damn thing wouldn't stop before it slammed into the dock.

Along with the Express Buses, the Staten Island Ferry remains one of the Island's most important modes of commuting to Manhattan for Islanders.

The service includes five boats, over 100 trips daily, and 65,000 passengers a day.

"As for changes in ridership, last year was an all-time high," said Monty Dean, from the Department of Transportation, when we spoke with him a few months back.

"We had approximately 21 million passengers using the ferry last year."

That's a shit load of people. Can we get some boats with breaks please? thanks.

Staten Island Ferry Crash

The Andrew J. Barberi ferryboat crashed into the dock today in St. George.

Here's video from the Staten Island Ferry Terminal early this morning.

Passengers from the ferry talk about their ordeal.

Staten Island News Round-up

Because we are too busy/lazy to write anything.

TODAY! is Second Saturdays in St. George. 

Ben Johnson wrote a about buzz band Local Natives.

John Annese gets the oddest crime story of the week.

Strange event tonight at Martini Red.

The local Tea Party is totally pissed off at Bloomberg -- something about racial profiling. 

Vito Fossella got a standing ovation the other say at some Republican circle jerk.

Someone acknowledged the Liberian diaspora in Park Hill.

This guy found the Corleone Mansion from the Godfather on Staten Island.

Guy on Yahoo Answers asks the million dollar question.

The Guido Faux Hawk

Have you guys seen this incredibly doucey hairdo?

It's the punk-rock-turned-emo faux hawk, re-imagined for the cast of Jersey Shore.

Last week, we were at the Hilton Garden Inn for a conference of the Staten Island Economic Development Committee -- the epitome of the Island's cesspool of high culture and socialites --- and some enormous dickhead walked in, with a freshly pressed outfit straight from the Hot Topic catalogue, and was sporting this god awful 'anti-establishment' rat's nest on his Bamaha Bronzed scalp.

Thing is -- this was the second time in one week that we encountered this monstrosity on Staten Island.

The 'Guido hawk' is markedly different from its punk rock descendent in a number of ways.

1. Hair Gel: Much more is used, creating a more manufactured effect. This isn't your cool uncle's bed head.

2. Length: The guido faux is short. No Tim Armstrong spikes that poke someone's eye out or look like a paper Chinese folding fan.

3. Sculpt: This faux is carefully crafted by only the finest of Italian-American hands. Hours a day can be spent in the bathroom of their gated mini-mansion, while the young men carefully tweak each last strand until the final product is a proud example of both their individuality and their oneness with Staten Island's MTV, Meatpackers District couture.