Monday, November 1, 2010

Last gaffe for Carl Paladino

We're gonna miss you Carl!

Even though only 13 people showed up to your last Staten Island meet-and-greet, you were by far the best (local) candidate to make fun of.

The election is tomorrow, and it's hard to think what life will be like without you: your misogynist statements, your white rage, those hardcore pornographic e-mails... All will be lost.

As if your fat head never emerged from the wastelands of Buffalo.

If Christine O'Donnell weren't a practicing witch you could've have rode your bullshit campaign into a national spotlight of vulgar assholery.

But you were rendered to viral internet memes. Better than nothing, we guess.

By the grace of God, if you may win tomorrow, and pull of the greatest of upsets, you can invade Albany lugging a phallic baseball bat at your heels, and proceed to be the most hated governor in New York State's history - before even lifting a finger.

Godspeed, Mr. Paladino. You didn't have a shot in hell but gave us the performance of a deranged lifetime.

The election will be over on Tuesday. You can take a break and - you guessed it - spend some quality time with your families.

Thanks for the memories. Especially this final salvo: a walk-out mid-interview on Monday when a reporter from upstate asked a question about your distaste for female candidates.

No comments:

Post a Comment