Sunday, January 31, 2010

Why the new Au Bon Pain at the ferry matters

The tourists might actually stick around after they get off the ferry.

Everyday, especially during the pristine summer months, hundreds if not thousands of tourists take the ferry to Staten Island, where they promptly exit, turn around, then get right back on.

So the extent of their visit to SI consists of a walk through the St. George Ferry Terminal.

The borough has tried, and failed, to lure people onto the island in the past.

A minor league baseball stadium has been a miserable failure -- dwarfed by the city's countless real sports teams and not nearly as popular as the Cyclones in Brooklyn.

The ferry fish tank, installed in 2008, cost $750,000 and did a better job at killing fish than luring tourists.

A trolley tour that took ferry riders to iconic North Shore landmarks has been shut down.

A bunch of big wigs went to ferry recently and had a ribbon-cutting ceremony for Au Bon Pain -- the first of many eateries that will be housed in the ferry terminal.

The city's Economic Development Committee took over from the DOT after the spaces sat empty for years.

Someone may have actually done something right at the ferry for a change.

Friday, January 29, 2010

New Pablo Video

We can't even begin to pick apart all the possible narratives in this new Pablo video.

But suffice to say "Learn a Lesson," from last year's excellent There's Rope to Leave, is just an small example of the Schalda family creating intimate moments through songs that are as emotionally fraught as the individuals who perform them.

The one-shot piece has both brother and father confronting the Budweiser-sipping pianist with a dramatic climax: "I'll laugh / all the way / to the morgue."

Rarely do we have the opportunity to talk about stuff we actually like, but here it is.

Bravo boys. If you haven't picked up this album, you can get it here.

Pablo - "Learn a Lesson"

Local news guy does PR stunt at the zoo

This guy is named Chuck and he's from Staten Island.

There's also a groundhog named Chuck, from Staten Island.

Can you fucking believe this. The irony.

Chuck D'Amodio, the one holding the shirt, decided to slum it in his home borough to plug his local morning newscast.

The whole earth-shattering event was covered in depth by the Advance.
"At first, Chuck says, Zoo officials looked a little worried -- but were happy that Chuck was nice and calm."
What the effe does that mean? Zoo officials looked worried? What did they think this guy was gonna do, punch the groundhog in the nuts or something?

D'Amodio wants to make sure everyone tunes in to his PIX11 Morning News Show on Tuesday.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Man uses evening ferry ride to decompress, make dinner plans

A man riding the Staten Island Ferry earlier tonight had a conversation (via cellphone) regarding imminent dinner plans.

"Steak, I think," said Robert Donogan over the phone, grumpily, to his wife. "We had chicken last night, didn't we?"

Donogan, seen here in his office, is an accounts manager at the firm Jacoby & Peters.

He rides the ferry home every workday, but does not seem to mind the long trip.

"I get to decompress," he told us. "It's very therapeutic."

"The stress of crunching numbers all day, on that awful, old, piece-of-shit computer -- you have no fucking idea."

Donogan then shuffled off the boat. It was unclear what form of public transportation he would be taking next.

Monday, January 25, 2010

There's no criminals, junkies, or dirtbags on SI

That's right, people in Staten Island (at least some of them) actually believe that the rest of NYC is filled with "criminal(s), junkies, dirtbags" -- and we need to keep them away from our pristine borough.

Here's the evidence from a similarly bullshit idea about the R train coming to Staten Island via a multi-billion dollar tunnel.

After a piece about the "train" was posted on SILive this comment below came from the tin-foil-hat-wearing crowd that reads the site:

We've come to the conclusion that this man is either

A. Mildly retarded

B. Living in 1973, when he moved here to get away from the 'bad' neighborhoods.

C. Actually represents a majority of the Island.

D. All of the above.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Bloggers attack Staten Island

It's hard to believe that anyone could not like Staten Island. It's literally one of the greatest boroughs in NYC.

Recently, a 'blogger' wrote something on the interweb site that called Staten Island 'Planet of the Guidos' -- and they meant that in a bad way.

Anyways, this set off a firestorm of comments from other a-hole bloggers who wanted to 'feed off the Staten Island hype.'

We tried to read the Slate blog, but it's hard to understand, so we went to a place called Gothamist, which is like a BrooklynVegan for Manhattanite transplants. This is what we found:
"Staten Island was always full of douchebags,"
What the effe?
"keep SI'ers confined to their island."
effe you! Somebody needs to tell these people off. What makes them the standard-bearers for high culture in NYC?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Walking the Cow

There's this place on SI that been getting a lot of internet 'buzz.' It's called the Cargo Cafe and lots of hip kids go there -- the key demographic. They have like hundreds of twitter followers.

Last night there were local singer/songwriters playing and a guy named Matt Wilson (not the Beach Boy) played a song from Dan Johnston called "Walking the Cow."

We started to get 'goosebumps' because the song felt so meaningful -- like it was 'bigger' than just a song.

So we went home and googled 'dan johnston' to find out more about the artist.

It turns out Mr. Johnston was a singer/songwriter who made some great music on a shitty four track, went bat-shit crazy, almost got famous for being talented/crazy, went off deep end, took some meds, kinda came back, got fat, met his high school romance, is still alive.

This made us think a lot about music, life , Staten Island.
  1. Is Dan Johnston a metaphor for Staten Island?

  2. Is Staten Island misunderstood and often put down?

  3. Does SI have lots of hidden, inane talent?

  4. Is there more to life than Twitter followers?

  5. Are there slightly sociopathic attributes to SI?

  6. Is Staten Island under-appreciated?

  7. Did we do too much drugs in high school?

  8. Is SI the zany uncle you kinda don't wanna visit but is still kinda cool?

Daniel Johnston - Walking the Cow

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Local Objects as Food

We were cruisin' the interwebs and found this pic on Gothamist of the Staten Island Ferry re-imagined into a chocolate cake -- looks good.

What other SI landmarks can be crafted into delicious foods?

Borough Hall: Canoli

The Conference House: Pear Tort

Pier off Prince's Bay: Three-Eyed Fish from The Simpsons

Staten Island Advance: Martini

Martini Red: Frozen Burrito

St. George Library: Fried Chitlins

Staten Island Zoo: Jerky

Staten Island Mall: Bubblegum

The entire Island: Extra-Cheese Pizza

Monday, January 18, 2010

When did Italians get so homo erotic?

First it was revealed that The Situation was a male stripper, and then this. Pauly D. from the Jersey Shore appearing semi-nude on a semi-gay website called (Warning: do not go there, unless you want to see some serious c---k.)

Here is the picture: all tan, signature blowout hairstyle, 32-C man breasts, fully-waxed, copping his best DeNiro-esque "you lookin' at me?" pose.

The string of comments says it all:

Incredulity:"Pauly D is gay!!!"

Disappointment: "well if youre going to show,, show it all!!!!!"

Perceptive advice: "dude great bod, but ease off on the tanning and the hair gel"

Scathing allegations: "Do some research and you'll discover some of the Jersey shore boys do gay porn..."

Acceptance: "I dont think hes gay, just really really vain."

When did the alpha-male Italian turn into a gay icon? Really, how did this happened all of the sudden.

It kinda makes us miss the days of Saturday Night Fever. (Never thought we'd say that.)

Guido circa 1977

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Woman from South Shore getting "completely smashed" tonight

Patricia Sullivan, from the South Shore neighborhood of Eltingville, said this afternoon that she is "sooo fed up" with her position as an administrative worker at Staten Island University Hospital and, as a result, is getting "completely smashed tonight" in celebration of her day off tomorrow.

"I can not deal with these people anymore," she said, refusing to give specifics.

Sullivan, who describes herself as "around 40" mentioned that she will probably go to "that bar on Forest avenue" or some other location on the North Shore.

"I am totally down to go see a cover band tonight," she said.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Interview: Staten Island Chuck

Groundhog's Day is just a few weeks away, and Staten Island's own whistle-pig, Chuck, will be coming out to look for his shadow.

Last year, Chuck made news worldwide by chomping Mayor Bloomberg's hand when the he tried to goad him out of his cage.

How will Chuck treat the mayor this year?

The SI Dump caught up with the infamous groundhog in advance of his next big showdown with the newly reelected Mayor.

So are you excited to see the mayor this year?
Not exactly. His hubris in deciding to run for a third term is unfathomable. And the way he bullied the city council to extend term limits -- completely unacceptable. Bloomberg is more concerned about his own legacy as a public figure than he is about the common people of the city. So no, I am not excited.
Wow, that's quite an opinion. Where do you get all this angst from?
I learned the art of guerilla tactics through heroes such as Mao, Che, the Vietcong, Afghan Mujahideen, Zapatistas. Ya' know all your basic freedom fighter movements.
I had no idea you were so political. So what do you think about the Tea Party here on Staten Island? We hear they've been making some waves.
Tea Party, what a joke. These rich white dudes running around talking about a 'second revolution.' Why, because your 401K lost 20 percent last year? Fuck off. These assholes just want to vent their sexual frustrations and be some kind of anti-hero and some twisted Glenn Beck fantasy world.
I never thought about it that way. So will we get an early spring this year or what?
Who cares?
Any other plans for 2010?
You know the deal. Everybody comes to the Zoo for one day and then I have to watch the zebras hump each other across the pond all summer.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Letterman's Hail Mary Pass

We can't decide if this is genius or terribly, terribly sad.

After the 'I'm With CoCo' campaign and the whole NBC shitstorm, David Letterman has been releasing 'Late Show' videos himself trashing Jay Leno early on YouTube.

Any way you look at it, a little more Jay Leno bashing can make the world a better place.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

John and John on Torture

Left-wingers had a shit-fit when Jon Stewart interviewed Bush legal counsel John Yoo last night.

John Stewart is a comedian who makes wildly perceptive comments on contemporary social issues.

John Yoo is a distinguished legal mind who was thrust into the limelight when Cheney needed justification to torture people.

So the leftys expected Stewart to rip Yoo a new one. But he didn't, and here's why.

Yoo is not a political operative, he a legal scholar. His memos were based on a reading of the Constitution and presidential decisions from Emancipation to Watergate.

His job in the Bush Administration was to produce legal opinions on the reach of executive power in the time of war. He just happened to be working for the biggest dicks in the world who took his legal briefs and wiped their asses with them.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Daily Show: Exclusive - John Yoo Extended Interview Pt. 1
Daily Show
Full Episodes
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Monday, January 11, 2010

Obvious News Day

Mark McGwire came out today to reveal something we already knew.

In a long statement sent to the AP McGwire admitted to using steroids --which basically proves that baseball has been a complete an utter farce since the mid-90s.

"After all this time, I want to come clean," McGwire's statement said. Great!

Too little, too late. He probably wants to clear his name before he starts his new job as a hitting coach, and he maybe thinks the admission will buy him a ticket into the Hall of Fame. (Not likely.)

Also, the ultimate teflon politician Sarah Palin got a new job as a Fox New commentator -- probably the one position she actually is qualified for.

No matter how much crazy shit you hear about this woman, a certain segment of the population continues to believe she's a cogent human.

If it was up to Staten Island, she would be vice president right now. (That's right, we voted for McCain.)

In a new book on the 2008 presidential campaign, Palin is described by McCain staffers as confused, depressed, overwhelmed, and flat out dumb.

She actually did not know the difference between North and South Korea, she didn't know who attacked us on 9/11, she didn't know who we were fighting in Iraq, or any other important shit you need to know if your gonna run the country.

But you don't need intelligence to work at Fox, just ask Alan Colmes.

Dang-It, Go See Les Vinyl

Pete's Candy Store is a great music venue on the north side of Williamsburg that specializes in homegrown roots-y music, showcasing local acts such as jug outfit O'Death. The place manages to be small and intimate without the pretenses of some of the other neighborhood hot spots.

Wednesday night the Island's Les Vinyl will be visiting the Store, playing an 11 p.m. show closing for weekly house band The Dang-It Bobbys. It seems a good fit for the band and a great chance to see a local group perform outside their natural habitat.

We just wanted to mention the show, and fully support the ride across the Bridge. It's worth it. Hey, who knows, if enough people show up maybe they'll book more of you a-holes.

The Dang-It Bobbys - Sad Sack (Live at Pete's Candy Store)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Captain Ahab at the Cargo

Last night’s Second Saturday festival had lots of art and Pabst Blue Ribbon. After walking around St. George to visit various galleries the crowd filed into the Cargo Café and were treated to the surf rock sounds of Capitan Ahab and The Sea Crackens. It was late, it was cold, we were drunk. Here’s the video:

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Second Saturday Art Festival

Tonight there'll be all sorts of art, music, performance pieces, drinking, debauchery (maybe) in St. George just a walk away from the Ferry.

The event, called Second Saturdays, is billed as an arts exhibit intended to draw crowds to the Island's north shore, boost tourism and showcase artists living and working in the neighborhood.

We are especially curious to hear some of the bands performing including Whistlin’ Wolves and SI rockabilly band Nick Williams & the Anteaters -- who knew?

January might not have been the best month to start this, the forecast says 24 degrees, but it should be interesting. Schedule is pasted below. (Warning: the Cargo Cafe sched is a bit misleading, The Budos Band is not playing.)

Assembly Room
15 Corson Ave. 2nd Fl.
Directors/Curators: Brendan Coyle and Amanda Curtis
Artists: Katie Torn, Tom Ronse, Demetrius Felder, Brendan Coyle, Amanda Curtis
Reception: Jan. 9th 6pm-12am
Open House: Jan. 10th 1pm-5pm

Blue Mohawk Lounge
9 Corson Ave. 3rd Fl.
Directors/Curators: Johann Rublein and Leilani Pickett
Artists: Johann Rublein and Leilani Pickett (Staten Island); Eliza Bazilian (Manhattan)
January 9th 6pm-12am

180 Corson Ave.
Screenings and Artists: pending

Château de Dada
123 Scribner Ave.
Directors/Curators: Mary Campbell and Vivian Vassar
Activities: Day De Dada Art Recycling Program
Screening: Videos from the MWF Video Club Archive
January 9th 4pm- 7pm

ETG Cafe
208 Bay St.
Directors/Curators: Stvn Jns Daughs
Live Music: 8pm Whistlin' Wolves - 9pm Wahoo Skiffle Crazies
Paintings: Carl Avidano

Nick Fevelo
33 Central Ave. 6G
Director/Curator: Nick Fevelo
Exhibition: Screaming Nutcracker
Artists: Brendan Coyle, Amanda Curtis, and Alma Benussi
Times: 6pm-9pm

15 Cent
15 Central Ave. #2A
Directors/Curators: David and Jen Bianco & Sabrina Mazza
Exhibition: Live Music, Living Sculpture, Performances TBA
Times: 6pm-9pm

SHOW Gallery
156 Stuyvesant Pl.
Director/Curator: Theo Dorian
Exhibition: GLAM!
Artist: Mick Rock

Top Flight
100 Stuyvesant Pl. 5A
Director: Don Porcella
Curator: Ginger Shulick
Exhibition: 5 Artists 5 Boroughs
Artists: Laura Napier (Bronx), Jason Douglas Griffin (Queens), Brian Leo (Manhattan), Sergio Coyote (Brooklyn), Nick Fevelo (Staten Island)
Times: January 9, 4pm-10pm; January 10, 12-5pm

Mandy Machine
100 Stuyvesant Pl. G-1
Director: Mandy Morrison
Installation, Performance
Times: January 9th, 4pm-10 PM

47 Hamilton Ave.
Director: Mercedes Duff
Curator: Ginger Shulick
Exhibition: North Meets South
Artists: Blanka Amezkua and Ray Sell
Times: January 9, 4pm-10pm; January 10, 12-5pm

CPG Gallery, (Creative Photographers' Guild)
814 Richmond Terrace
Rear View
Featured Photographer: Marilyn Kiss
Times: January 9th 5pm-8pm

Art at Bay
70 Bay St.
Director: Tim Moran
Artists: Kristopher Johnson, Jonathan Leiter, Matt Long, Mike Ruffo, Leon Stewart, Julius Wasserstein, Sharon Wasserstein, Linda Wasylewski, Janet Wenger
Times: January 9th 6pm-9pm

Staten Island Museum
75 Stuyvesant Pl.
Free admission

120 Bay St.
Artists: Rudolph Montanez, Dave Derwin, Mike Shane, Adam Bridgewater, and The Budos Band on the exterior.
Mikhael Antone: To A Man Documentary 9pm
Times: After party
Food served until 2am open til 4am
Food and drink specials for Art walkers. A slip will be available at galleries for free admission to the After Party

Friday, January 8, 2010

Effe You, New Jersey: Gay Rights Edition

Gay marriage supporters were dealt another stinging defeat yesterday when New Jersey's State Senate voted 20-14 to reject a law that would make the state one of the few that allows same sex marriage.

The vote will prevent the opportunity for Gov. Jon Corzine to sign the bill into law before Chris Christie takes office. Proponents of the legislation were disappointed, but hoped a the matter would be resolved in the courts, an institution which was created to protect the tyranny of the majority.

As for the architects of the bill's defeat, the reasoning was the usual claptrap:

Senator Cardinale said that... the state would be doing “violence” to the institution of marriage by changing its current definition as a union between one man and one woman.

“There are many who believe that this bill will change our entire culture,” he said, shortly before casting his “no” vote.
-New York Times

Violence? Definitely not. Change our culture? Maybe -- for the better.

This is just proof that the world needs more Staten Island, or more specifically, the world needs more Diane Savino.

Locals Open for Kevin Devine

For the youngsters out there, Kevin Devine was a songwriter who traversed the SI music scene in the '90s playing in bands like Delusion, Miracle of '86, Infind, Monty Love (are we missing anyone). Anyways, Kevin lives in Brooklyn and is pretty indie famous now but still gives it up for SI every so often.

His recent album Brother's Blood got positive reviews from all the tastemakers, and he just released a new video for the song "Another Bag of Bones"(below). Kevin is playing a show tonight at The Space in Hamden, Connecticut and opening the show is (da-da-daaaa) Greatest Islander nominee Jay Miller and Les Vinyl's Casey Jost.

We're assuming they'll be doing comedy, but whatever they do it should make the drive up to CT more palatable.

Kevin Devine - Another Bag of Bones

Bonus: Check out this great new song on Les Vinyl's site.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

All the News That's Fit to Paste

When there’s third-hand gossip about Staten Island’s favorite reality train wreck, “Jersey Shore,” you need to break the news, and break it fast. So where should the locals go to get their daily guido-smut update? Do we choose, Internet home of the prestigious Advance, or peruse celeb gossip queen Perez Hilton?

Answer: It doesn’t matter. It’s the same damn thing.

Today's news was that "Jersey Shore" may be coming back for another season. Halfway through an online post from, the Advance goes full on copy/paste mode via Perez Hilton:

While chatting up some ladies the Staten Islander revealed, "They want us to do another season" and after the girls wanted Vinny to come with them to another club, he explained, "We can't really go out and make unpaid appearances."

While chatting up some ladies he revealed, "They want us to do another season" and after the girls wanted Vinny to come with them to another club, he explained, "We can't really go out and make unpaid appearances."

-Perez Hilton

No attribution, just a hyperlink to a Daily News piece, which uses the same quote with original writing.

The piece goes on to “quote” Perez Hilton but makes no mention of the complete paste job that goes on throughout the article. Like this:

Cast member Vinny Guadagino -- and AWE "Whose Your Favorite Jersey Shore Cast member poll winner -- broke thew(sic) news Tuesday night at the Manhattan premiere of the new Michael Cera film "Youth in Revolt."

Cast member Vinny Guadagino spilled the beans on Tuesday at the Youth in Revolt after-party at La Pomme in NYC.

-Perez Hilton

And then:

Flying solo at paid party appearances, DJ Pauly D, The Situation and Snooki bank $7,500 each. Vinny nets $3,500, Ronnie and Sammi Sweeheart have to show up together for the bargain price of $3,000.

On their own Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, DJ Pauly D and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi pocket $7,500 per appearance, Vinny gets $3,500 while coupled up Ronnie Magro and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola can show up together for the bargain price of $3,000!
-Perez Hilton

Notice they've replaced "on their own" with a catchy euphemism, "flying solo," and "pocket" with the more salacious verb, "bank."

We know it’s hard for an old dinosaur to keep up with the kids in the interwebs, but this is just sloppy. High schoolers flunk on crap like this.

If we didn’t know better we’d think the Advance actually broke this story, or at least wrote it. The article is credited to Staten Island Advance Entertainment Desk, which probably means,that intern who knows HTML.”

Dude Makes a Mad Dash from Cops

A prisoner was being escorted out of the 120 precinct today and managed to escape -- for 15 minutes, anyway.

Suspected robber and puppy-thrower, Naquan Thompson, slipped out of his handcuffs and made a run for the hills. He didn't last long as he broke his ankle jumping from a ramp at the ferry terminal. He was later found hiding in an empty train at the end of SI Railway.

Thompson is currently recovering from his wounds at Richmond University Medical Center, but he will soon become a YouTube sensation with this hilarious getaway video.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Artists Rally Around Local Grant Director

Young artists from the Staten Island's local scene have rallied around COAHSI's (Council on Arts and Humanities on Staten Island) grant director Ginger Shulick, who appears to be headed out the door. People have been lighting up the Facebooks and Twitters with a petition to try and save her job.

"If u know Ginger Shulick then u probably have been inspired to create more art on staten island. People want her fired. Don't let them."

via FB

The issue seems to be the grant-giving process, and some perceived "bias" on the panel that distributes the grants. Complaints have been made from some in the community about latest COAHSI grant process. Though like many things on Staten Island it's been boiled down to two groups. These people and these people.

A town-hall meeting was set up to address the issue, but has been rescheduled. Here is the statement from COAHSI.

"There have been several rumors circulating in the community about how the panel process is structured and how decisions on grantmaking are made, and we encourage you to engage in this dialogue on the process as we continually create panels that are as fair and unbiased as possible."

So it seems that people are mad about the grant process, those people wanted a meeting, a meeting was postponed until Wednesday, January 13th, and now what?

Weekly Scare Alert

President Obama came out yesterday and declared that the xmas day bomber woulda, shoulda, coulda been stopped. The incident and the immediate aftermath was just one of a series of stories that should probably scare the bejesus out of us.
  1. Last week a CIA operative was apparently a double agent and walked into an Afghanistan compound and blew up eight clandestine agents. The Jordanian man was believed to be a valuable asset and may have lead to top al-Qaeda leadership in the region.

  2. Three embassies in Yemen were closed on Monday after US General David Petraeus met with the Yemeni government after the xmas bombing plot. The Nigerian (alleged) bomber was trained in Yemen by al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula.

  3. Also, Iran is hiding nuclear enrichment plants underground.

  4. And just to let us know, the New York Times Magazine released a lengthy piece online about how the Obama administration was terrified that a terrorist attack would occur at the inauguration last January. They even had a contingency plan that Secretary of Defense Robert Gates would "take over the presidency should the worst happen."
Gates, a holdover from the Bush years, was the only member of Obama's cabinet already confirmed by the Senate, therefore his position as president was "logical."

Kinda make this whole health care debate seem unimportant. It's hard to argue about political minutiae when someone is trying to blow you up.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Cheap Laughs at Cargo Cafe

Locals comedian James Harris is hosting another stand-up comedy night at the Cargo Cafe, appropriately called "Grab Ass Stand Up," and here's just a few reasons why you should attend:

1. It's free: on a scale of 1 to 10 price-wise, this would have to be a 10.

2. Ridiculous drink specials: $2 Beers $3 shots & Well Drinks. $6 for a pbr 2 sliders and fries! That's almost as good as White Castle, without the morning after stomach pains.

3. Great line-up: real working comedians from all over the country who are actually funny.

4. Support your local scene: Let's hear jokes on Staten Island instead of just jokes about Staten Island. If we don't support the local arts/music/entertainment scene the borough will continue to be a punchline and one-dimensional depiction of MTV reality shows.

Sean Patton - Crackhead Aunt

Starts at 9:30

Sean Patton (Comedy Central)
Max Fox (Aspen Comedy Festival)
John Szeluga (Mid-evenings with Jay Miller)
Adam Pateman (Every ones favorite Canadian)
Hosted by James Harris

@ Cargo Cafe 120 Bay St SI NY.
just 2 blocks from the Free Staten Island Ferry!

In Defense of Tanning Salons

You may remember back in 2k9 when the Dump launched tan-gate, about the 10 percent tax on indoor tanning salons that Democrats slipped into Obama's health care bill. We said, sarcastically, that the tax would place an undue burden on superficial orange people. But alas, the Advance has one-upped us and has published a piece in defense of tanning salons.

A piece, published on Jan 3, mentions the new tax and the negative effects it could have on the Staten Island's small businesses. OK, most of it is pretty straight-up news but here's where it goes off the rails:
"Ultraviolet light has very clear health benefits," said John Overstreet, executive director of the [Indoor Tanning] Association
Health Benefits? Really! So going to the tanning salon can actually reduce your chances of skin cancer. Is that what this douche is saying, I can't tell because there aren't any legitimate follow-up responses on this. I'd love to get a doctor's opinion on how "healthy" tanning salons are.

The article does gloss over a study by the International Agency for Research on Cancer but the breadth of the piece is clear: don't tax us to death, let us tan to death.

Added Bonus: I love scrolling through the comments, hilarity ensues.
Posted by foxaddict
January 04, 2010, 12:56AM

Whay is it OK to penalize some industries - because you say so? Tyranny at its best

How will we ever survive this tyranny?

Monday, January 4, 2010

Cuckoo for The Headlocks

Congrats guys. You did it. The Headlocks are the second musical act to receive an award from the Staten Island Dump, which I guess could be called a Dumpy. Dead Set on Destruction made a mad dash at first, coming up a few votes shy, but for now let me say some nice things about the champions, SI musical heroes, and second recipient of the Dumpy: The Headlocks.

Starting off as a bare bones folk group a few years back, Rob Carey, Frank Duffy, Frank Cavallo and some guy John on bass began the long arduous journey that brought them to the Snug Harbor Cultural Center and Mercury Lounge.

Last summer, the group was holed up in a Brooklyn studio trying to put together this release. Cuckoo Bird is both ramshackle hillbilly blues, tender American folk, gentle ballads, and shout-a-long Stones rock all crammed into one album. A gentleman named Million Dollar Bill helped produce this album into a stellar mix of instruments that goes down easy and clings to you with repeated listens.

There's an element of storytelling to these songs as well. In addition to the catchy sing-a-long chorus, "Driving in the Dark" tells the tale of a road trip gone wrong. "Freeze the Frame" asks us to step back an contemplate our surroundings. The song crescendos into a chorus that decries the local milieu with a half-scream "Never seen a scene so petty / getting in it's own way / wanna freeze the frame for a moment."

"Another Flood" is cheerfully upbeat with goofball lyrics and a wild harmonica lead that conjures Dylan's "Maggie's Farm." Cuckoo Bird descends on a somber note with "It's a Wonderful Life," an earnest reverie about the unavoidable toil of everyday experiences.

All in all, it's a wonderful release. Marked at times by humor and self-deprecation the songs are crammed with instruments but fall back on the inventive lyrics and songwriting of its core members. The Headlocks load the car up with gas and invite you along for the ride. You can't be sure where they're going, but there's only one way to find out.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Sing a Song About the Island

When the HuffingtonPost launched their project to map NYC in songs, we expected to see a lot from entries of Staten Island. OK, maybe not a lot, but at least some.

There are only three entries for SI so far and all are obvious Wu-Tang references.

That's it? There aren't any others? What about the Staten Island Rocker dude? He's in the picture --->

And runner-up for greatest Staten Islander of the '00s Terrible Tim? He has to have some songs about the Island that aren't entirely composed of penis jokes.

We know Rhett Miller wrote a song about the Verrazano Bridge. Does that count?

Are there any more songs about Staten Island? Does anyone know/care?

Maybe some aspiring songwriter wrote a song about Hylan Boulevard or Pleasant Plains. This is your chance to be discovered.

Skate and Die?

You know that humiliating experience when your little cousin schools you in some video game. Well, apparently one dude took it waaaay too far when a nine-year-old beat him at Tony Hawk.

The Daily News is reporting that Alejandro Morales stabbed the boy after playing the popular skateboarding game.
"Police said Alejandro Morales, 25, plunged a knife in the boy's chest, sending him staggering to his uncle's bedroom door.
Paramedics rushed [the boy] from the La Salle St. apartment to St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital, but the New Jersey boy died in less than an hour, police said."
Really guy? A nine-year-old?

The kid, from New Jersey, was visiting his uncle in Harlem where the incident happened. The attacker, 25, owns the title biggest sore loser in history.

Jets Fans, You're Cut Off

The Jets are playing their last game of the season tonight against the Cincinnati Bengals. If they win, they make the playoffs, even thought they have a pretty crappy record (8-7).

But as fans brave the weather, traffic, Mark Sanchez, they will be unable to purchase alcohol at the game. The Star Ledger is reporting that the team has decided that the last game at Giants Stadium (which is also the Jets' stadium) will be booze free.
"[Team spokesman Bruce] Speight said the decision was made, in part, because it's a night game, it's the final game of the season and it's the last game at Giants Stadium and there were concerns about fan behavior."
There's something comical about 80,000 adults being baby-sat by the Jets ownership. Would you give these people alcohol?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Get Out: Jokes, DJs, and Bands

It's Jan 2, you're probably still hung over. But local hip-spot/refurbished townie dive Martini Red is hosting an all-star night of the Island's best indie entertainment.

Boom: DJ Jay Miller
TV show host. Comedian. Greatest Islander nominee. Cross-generational rock and roller. and, now DJ will be spinning some tunes at the Red

POW: ManCrush
Tim Duffy & Casey Jost
North Shore Mayoral candidate and honorable mention for Greatest Islander with
Les Vinyl himself with or without his guitar.

KABAAM: The Delay AND The Rabbits
How did these guys not make our Best Albums of '09 list? We don't know. They were robbed.

Here's The Rabbits via the professionals @SILive:

Update: South Shore!!
The Threadz at KJ's Ale House in Eltingville(?)

Headlocks Come From Behind

We know The Headlocks have a lot of fans. (Heck there's like 20-something people in the band.) But we were wondering what took them so long to get the word out on this vote.

As it turns out, the band didn't even know that the Dump existed. Here's evidence from a recent Facebook status update:

Headlocks: Check out this new Staten Island Blog and vote for the headlocks cuckoo bird as si album of the year. Who knew this existed?

Who knew they existed?!? Yes, Virginia, there is a Staten Island Dump. We do exist. And we won't ever make observations about the kind of people who attend your shows.

Also, the totally rockin' Dead Set on Destruction is just two votes behind you hippies. So watch your backs. One day left to vote!

Tryptophan - Destroy Fashion

Newark Airport Gets More Sexy

The infamous underwear bomber of '09 has spawned a new era of airport security including these full-body scanners. The NY Daily News is reporting that the scanners are coming to Newark Airport, the choice destination for Islanders (because JFK traffic is such a pain in the balls.)

The News is reporting that the scanners will be used on international flight where TSA employees will be checking your unmentionables for weapons, bombs, girth.

The ACLU has already raised a ruckus, calling the tactic a virtual strip search, meanwhile the White House is contemplating an attack on Al-Qaeda in Yemen because we don't have enough wars going on in the region.

The Champ: Ghostface Killah

The results are in and, according to our thoroughly scientific polling datum, Ghostface Killah was the "Greatest Staten Islander of the Decade."

Terrible Tim made a last minute end run at the illustrious title, and minutes to midnight, almost made the improbable comeback. But Pretty Toney came out on top with, I dunno, like 27 percent of the voting or something like that.

Ghostface started out the decade on January 25, 2000 with Supreme Clientele and, in the Dump's opinion, probably could've stopped there and still won the "Greatest" title.

But Ghost then released Bulletproof Wallets followed by The Pretty Toney Album, Fishscale and The Big Doe Rehab.

After an OK R&B album in '09, Ghost is coming back hard with "The Wu Massacre," a collaboration with Wu legends Method Man and Raekwon due out in February.

Take a bow, Pretty Ton, it's time to celebrate.

Ghostface feat Kid Capri - "We Celebrate"

We're not sure what exactly he wins, if anything. But maybe when the "Charlie Rose of Hip-Hop" Emilio Sparks interviews Ghost he can give him the award.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Bloomberg on Staten Island for New Year's

Mike Bloomberg was inaugurated for a historic third term earlier today. Shortly after the ceremony he boarded the Staten Island Ferry and came to visit the borough that helped put him over the top in last year's election.

The SI Dump was there when Bloomberg and Borough President James Molinaro visited Borough Hall to make some care packages for the troops.