Monday, June 28, 2010

Nobody cares about Midland Beach (anymore)

Midland Beach got shafted this week.

Their weekly protest barely got coverage in the local news even though, according to NY1, there were ‘hundreds’ of people there.

They had a few things going against them, it wasn’t as slow of a news day, but mostly the media is losing interest in this story because it isn’t going anywhere. Some people involved in this debate are genuinely concerned and they need to move ahead.

Here are some things the people of Midland Beach should keep in mind going forward.

Play Me I'm Yours at the Staten Island Ferry

We were a little skeptical when we heard they were strategically placing (working) pianos all over New York City, including Staten Island -- homeless people? pigeons? Ingrid Michaelson?

Nah, jk. But seriously it sounded like this was an idea that could go horribly wrong.

However, the Play Me I'm Yours exhibit has brought an unexpected raft of talent to these randomly placed pianos and in the process made an almost quixotic communal experience for all the commuters and tourists who stumble upon them.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Tonight's action: Staten Island

Check out the Northside Festival over in Brooklyn.

At Martini Red DJ's FRANKIE & TIGER present AND THEY SLEPT w/Special Guests

QSINY: Prada G: BACK TO ATTACK! at Q Nightclub

Dock Street: plastiq passion + the delay

LUMEN video art festival Atlantic Salt Richmond Terrace 4 - 12 pm

Cargo: Wahoo Skiffle Crazies/Nick Williams and the Anteaters

Another hate crime near Port Richmond

Police are investigating another possible hate crime near Port Richmond after a Mexican day laborer was severely beaten on the corner of Forest and Jewett ave.

Congressman Mike McMahon (D - Staten Island): "This attack is just the latest in a string of disgraceful violence against members of our community whose only crime is having a different background. It is very upsetting to me that such hateful crimes could occur on the streets of Staten Island."

The patriots have a problem

Look, we love the Tea Party and all -- hey they are the only homegrown political movement we have out here. The anti-war people make good pot brownies, but they can't organizer a rally for shit.

However, it is becoming apparent that the Tea clan is more like a Republican shill machine than a grassroots, middle-class political movement.

Take their recent stance on the Disclose Act. The Act is actually a response to a recent Supreme Court decision that gives mega-million-dollar corporations like Goldman Sachs the same right to donate politically as, say, some ahole who works at the Wendy's on Amboy Road. (Legally a corporation is a person, so I guess it's fair right?)

The Disclose Act doesn't exactly tackle the decision specifically but instead makes these corporate entities, or their political funnel groups, 'disclose' who exactly they are. So when an ad goes on TV and claims "Obama is a closet-Muslim-Commie-terror-coke-dealer" the ad then has to say: "BP America approves this message." (This goes for everyone, that is, except for the National Rifle Association, who got a sweet deal.)

Antipathy toward the Disclose Act is expected from the Republican party machine, which stands to reap windfall donations from corporate entities who would love to get that pesky financial regulations and drilling restrictions of their golden-plated backs.

But where does a local grassroots movement come off criticizing their congressman for voting for this common sense, legislative tweak in a landmark, game-changing SCOTUS decision? How exactly will they, local activists, be affected by this bill, or is there some other motivation behind their opposition?

Friday, June 25, 2010

New York Mets: Small ball, big park

The New York Mets are perennial underdogs, sort of like Staten Island.

After a disappointing start to their Citi Field career the team has made some adjustments this year, which may have accounted for their recent success.

It may be that they have adapted to their new (big) stadium and are playing a version of the game sometimes referred to as small ball.

With 26 wins at Citi Field the Mets are tied for the best home record in the majors despite the fact that the team has only hit 59 home runs, 11th in the league. (David Wright, the team's leading home run hitter is in 18th place with 12 dingers -- 2 at home.)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tarzan fiasco rocks Staten Island

So the Advance ran this great piece Wednesday on a new addition to a woman's incredibly ridiculous lawn decor on Todt Hill Road.
Tarzan has abandoned his jungle habitat in favor of the front yard of Alla Shchegol’s home...
It looks as though this possibly unstable person has added a new statue (aka "Tarzan") to a front lawn already cluttered with all sorts of wild animals which are enticing random passers-by to gawk and nearly cause accidents on an already hard-to-drive narrow, winding hill.

Even Gothamist picked up on this epic story because, hey, it's a guy swinging on a rope(!).

Meanwhile, the Dump has done an investigation and we are pretty sure a big lie has been perpetrated on all the good people of Richmond County.

This it totally NOT Tarzan!

Jersey Shore responds to becoming gay icons

Apparently, those were Jersey Shore guys on the cover of the Voice's Queer Issue (don't watch the show). And, like the utter douchebags that they are, they have responded quite predictably to the event.

"I don't give a shit, man," said Vinny Guadagnino.

"I've done so many photoshoots and they're pretty much all the same. I go in there, do my thing, take my shirt off, get my hair and my make-up done and they dress me. I take the pictures and wherever they end up, they end up."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Confirmed: Guidos are homoerotic

We came up with this crazy theory a while back that guidos are homoerotic. Now it's been confirmed, by the Village Voice.

The weekly alt-mag has a new cover which displays these tanned, shaved, muscular pseudo-heteros under the preposterous title: The Queer Issue.

The Voice has all the gory details, including incriminating photos and the well-documented and worse of all, quotes from gay Italians.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Midland Beach celebrates 4th of July early

Real patriots don't wait until the Fourth of July.

The good people of Midland Beach decided to celebrate the 4th early yesterday as more than 100 people took to the streets with red-white-and-blue-themed decor to spread the holiday cheer.

Waving to cars and passers-by, the residents displayed nothing but affection for their country as they shouted some patriotic slogans, which were indecipherable to this reporter.

The event marked what seems to be a weekly show of support for all things "traditional" and "American."

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Diane Savino gets a little help from her friends

Remember Diane Savino?

She is the intrepid state senator who bravely went against the traditional ethos of the boro to make a passionate plea for equal marriage rights for the gays in New York State.

Savino was a YouTube hit, and she changed the common perception of us as an island of rubes -- for at least a week.

Well now according to Politico, Savino's gay friends are coming back to give her a little fundraising boost.

Drake's new album 'Thank Me Later'

Drake played a show at the South Street Seaport, which is close to Staten Island - so that gives us an excuse to talk about Drizz- AYE.

The show was a disaster. Poorly planned, badly handled, the thing was shut down before it even started (barely).

But this didn't take away from the fact that Drake's new album, 'Thank Me Later,' is a tremendous accomplishment and may have single-handedly extended hip-hop's shelf life another 10 years.

Ever since the genre's beginnings, critics have decried the style as a 'fad' that would one day disseminate like, I don't know, break-dancing and track suits.

Advice to Midland Beach protestors

Looks like the concerned citizens of Midland Beach will be at it again this Sunday.

You guys really let us down last time, so in an effort to be 'constructive,' we decided to give you a little unsolicited advice for this week's protest.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Midland Beach pastor caves, but will Islam still reign?

If you can't stand the heat --- give in to the bigots.  

Rev. Keith Fennessy, the ill-fated pastor of the church that owns the convent in the paranoid neighborhood of Midland Beach, sent a letter to Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan that declares his reservations about the sale of the convent to the Muslim American Society.

Fennessy finally decided that sale would "not serve the needs of the parish." Really?

He did, however, sign a contract to sell the damn thing, for $750,000 no less. (Sharia Law does not come cheap people!)

And wait, it gets worse.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bros before pols: Staten Island Libertarian Party


Forget the professionals like Mike McMahon (incumbent Democrat, former city councilman), Mike Grimm (FBI agent, fought in the Gulf War), and Allegretti (Bay Ridge, represent!). Why votes for pros when you can vote for bros?!

Last night a press release came across the Staten Island Dump fax machine announcing the Staten Island Libertarian Party 2010 candidates.

Then, over on the interwebs ChrisDAPS told us that the party's congressional candidate Tom Vendittelli is also the lead singer for the awesomely local cover group Man Down.

This is possibly the most exciting Staten Island political news since Vito Fossella decided not to embarrass his family, anymore.

Monday, June 14, 2010

'The Van in Staten Island that Always Gets Decorated' - the FB page

Anyone see this van driving around SI?

Well, it has its own Facebook page and over 6,000 fans.

Every holiday the van is decorated appropriately, but the main theme seems to be Puerto Rican pride.

We are not sure if they are selling anything, or if they just like to decorate, but the van is consistently redone every couple weeks.

You can see it parked right off Jersey Street if you don't happen to catch it on the roads.

Most recently, the van was decorated for the Puerto Rican day parade.

Is this a great marketing stunt? cheap gimmick? potential Staten Island Internet meme?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Which side are the terrorists?

Hey guys. This Midland Beach mosque story is quite the barn burner. (Or, mosque burner, depending on whom you ask).

Some people are so worked up they are out there protesting -- with signs and everything.

The local media has done story after story. A follow-up. An explanation. A half-assed column. NY1 has been on this too.

Anyway, it's starting to get confusing; just wanted to touch base and clarify a few things.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Midland Beach made us look like a bunch of dickheads

There's no polite way to put this.

The only time the national media wastes their airtime and precious ink on Staten Island is when a) there's a tragedy or b) something stupid happens.

We can disagree politically but one truism has become all too common in the Staten Island vs. The World rubric: we will constantly be portrayed as a bunch of backwoods rubes until something changes.

The local news descended on us once again last week, focusing on the recent meeting about the proposed mosque in Midland Beach.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Stuck on the damned ferry

Blame it on the Angus bacon cheeseburger.

At some point during the process of eating this deliciously greasy monstrosity a thought occurred to an overtaxed and underfed frontal lobe -- wifi.

It wasn't one of those fancy new euro trash joints but a relic on the east side of Manhattan. A real utilitarian establishment. The employees avoid idle chitchat; they just want to take your goddamned order already. A tiny digression... This place has wifi.

At some other point (which just by chance happens to be on that same very day) a 25-minute ferry ride conjured up the previously mentioned Angus burger (indigestion perhaps) and serendipitously brought back the recurring thought regarding free available Internet access in public spaces and/or private businesses.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Staten Islanders don't like Muslims

We understand that the people of Midland Beach, Staten Island have every right to oppose something they believe will destroy the fabric of their neighborhood.

But the extreme naivety and baseless, misinformed attacks on the planning of a mosque in the neighborhood shows nothing less than blatant xenophobia, unwavering ignorance, and flat-out intolerance.

A lot of the attacks have come in clever winks and nods: 'they sold the property without approval,' we don't know anything about this organization, they are associated with the Muslim Brotherhood (which means they're terrorists) and, by the way, they will impose Sharia law on America(!).

Tomorrow a planned civic meeting in the neighborhood has brought the ire of locals, some channeling their rage through SILive comment threads which have since been deemed offensive and deleted.

Ayman Hammous, a South Beach resident and member of the Muslim American Society board, told the Advance that the rumors and innuendo was the stereotyping of "Islamophobes." 

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Staten Island Yankee gets robbed by hookers

Well this is embarrassing.

When Patrick Daneker, a pitching coach for the unfortunately-named Staten Island Yankees, went partying with some sluts down in Tampa he woke up to find some money and his World Series ring missing -- apparently as part of his 'payment' for services rendered.

Daneker, who must really like to party, claims he doesn't remember everything -- except for the fact that the women were wearing short mini-skirts and that he "messed around" with them.

Well, it depends on how you define "messed around."

There's no more weed left on Staten Island

Seriously, if you know a guy, give us a call.

When international marijuana kingpin Jonathan Braun was arrested for hiding his major stash of herb in his parent's Meiers Corners house we had no idea how much the dude was holdin'.

Turns out, the dude had 100,000 kilos and he actually brought it here via the St. Regis Mohawk Reservation in Canada (that's over 100 tons).

That's like enough to keep our whole staff high for, like, 3 or 4 months.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Left-wingers start coup on Staten Island

So, there are left-wing activists on Staten Island? Who woulda thunk it?

Here's a video from Next Left Notes, a local gang involved in radical concepts like peace, human rights, freedom of religion, and country music.

They were protesting in front of Congressman McMahon's office just because a few people got killed for no good reason.

They are even trying to help build that terrorist recruiting center, otherwise known as a 'mosque,' in Midland Beach.