Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Greenpoint explodes: Staten Island wins, by default

Gothamist is reporting that there's been some kind of explosion in Greenpoint, which is the Polish ghetto kids moved into when Williamsburg started to suck .

Listen to this harrowing email Gothamist got from some fucking douchebag:
"Huge explosion heard in Greenpoint. Can't see anything but can hear sirens and fire trucks heading to the scene. Don't know what happened."
Wow, sounds crazy. Could be a nuclear meltdown? Maybe the terrorists have come after the hipsters.

Everybody knows that Staten Island and Williamsburg have been at war ever since we started it here at the Dump like, idk a few months ago. So this looks like a clear win for Staten.

Will they strike back? Is the Mall their next target? Do you think they have money to pay the Verrazano tolls?

Meet us for an emergency meeting at Martini Red in 0:500 hours.


  1. "is the Mall their next target?"

    God I hope so lol

  2. If the mall was their next target, who really loses?

  3. agreed, maybe we can trick them into attacking the mall.

    Imagine: Staten Island w/o tight guido shirts