Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The official Hipster Survey

Some people said that the hipster died with the '00 decade. And we said, 'Oh yeah? Prove it!'

Well thanks to the City University of New York now we can.

The departments of sociology and anthropology have combined in this painstaking effort to create a demographic profile detailing where, when, and if the hipster actually exists. It's all compiled in this neat little survey.

You see, unfortunately the U.S. Census does not have a category for 'hipster' under ethnicity so that whole ten-year data collection is basically useless.

This is the only way we can honestly quantify hipsters.

Here's the plan: gather enough data of Staten Islanders, compile it, hire a statistician, average it up, and presto. We have a hipster index for Staten Island.

We can then compare our hipster index with other neighborhoods in New York City by using the internets to survey those areas.

OK Greenpoint, let's see what you got? If everyone cooperates we'll email other blogs and get them to pony up.

Survey is below:

Post how many questions you answered "YES" to.  

1. Do you own a Mac?

2. Do you regularly drink PBR?

3. Do you regularly wear scarves even when it’s not cold?

4. Do you have an iPhone?

5. Do you wear Ray-Bans?

6. Do you own more than three plaid shirts?

7. Do you own a pair of Tom’s?

8. Do you wear Converse All-Stars with skinny jeans?

9. Do you wear any denim clothing other than jeans?

10. Do you own any ironic T-shirts? For example: “Draft Beer, Not People.”

11. When you talk about music, do other people have no fucking clue what you’re talking about?

12. Do you have glasses that look like Buddy Holly?

13. Do you brew your own beer/other form of alcohol?

14. Do you own a cat with an unconventional name?

15. Are you against marriage, period?

16. Do you have three or more tattoos?

17. If you are a man, do you have a moustache?

18. Are you politically liberal?

19. Are you a coffee snob?

20. Do you drink soy milk despite not being lactose intolerant?

21. Do you frequently bike places?

22. Do you listen to public radio?

23. Do you eat quinoa or have a membership with a CSA?

24. Have you ever brought a child to a bar?

25. Do you still have a Member’s Only jacket in your closet?

26. Do you live in Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Bushwick, Park Slope, Crown Heights, Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, or Bed-Stuy?

27. Ladies: do you buy things on Etsy?

10 comments:

  1. i got a 7, which is supposedly on the low end.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Questions:

    Does drinking PBR when it's the least disgusting cheap option count as "regularly?"

    Does a beard count as a mustache?

    Does a "Draft Beer, Not People" t-shirt really count as ironic? I thought ironic t-shirts were more like wearing something that would indicate you are part of a group you are not actually part of, such as a Billy Joel fan or employee of Henderson Family Hardware.

    In any case, my score is somewhere between a 5 and 8.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 6. I'm not a hipster, not yet a guido

    ReplyDelete
  4. 8--Why am I on the high end in this thread? I'm definitely not a hipster.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @PB question 1: yes. read: Coors Light

    question 2: no. mustaches alone are deemed 'ironic,' therefore qualify as a hipster. We confirmed this with the creators of the survey.

    question 3: "draft beer not people" is a poor example. It's more jokey and protest-y. Your definition of 'irony' is much more appropriate.

    @melanie: the sample group tested in the low teens, so don't be discouraged

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have approximately 12.....er....oh my, am I honestly the top ranking in hipsterdom so far?? Impossible. Just because I make smart electronic choices and have cats with quirky names? hmph.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear friends,

    This is no spam- I'm sending this to you because we have lots in common!

    I was hoping you could help me out with this little survey since you fit the modern stylish man profile we're trying to serve. If you're a girl, then I know that you know several hip cool men that you can send this to!

    Your thoughts would mean so much to us! Feel free to let your mates know, muwa!

    http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CGZF5FS

    Hey there, this survey really is for you.
    www.surveymonkey.com
    I won't take much of your time. Can you spare a few moments to take my survey? It's about underwear and your choice (erm, sometimes it's your partner's, ouch!) Have fun & let us know how to send you free samples once they're out and ready for you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear friends,

    This is no spam- I'm sending this to you because we have lots in common!

    I was hoping you could help me out with this little survey since you fit the modern stylish man profile we're trying to serve. If you're a girl, then I know that you know several hip cool men that you can send this to!

    Your thoughts would mean so much to us! Feel free to let your mates know, muwa!

    http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CGZF5FS

    Hey there, this survey really is for you.
    www.surveymonkey.com
    I won't take much of your time. Can you spare a few moments to take my survey? It's about underwear and your choice (erm, sometimes it's your partner's, ouch!) Have fun & let us know how to send you free samples once they're out and ready for you!

    ReplyDelete