Monday, May 31, 2010

LOST finale and other epic let-downs

Last week we learned that the LOST finale, pretty much like the entire final season, was an insanely huge let down of epic proportions.

Basically, instead of expounding on the many mysteries that made the show so compelling (and the island an endless metaphor for our seemingly routine, mundane daily lives) the show's creators instead decided to end on a sweet-and-sour note, one that resembled more of a early-afternoon soap opera than the pith of sci-fi graphic novels. It was a disaster.

Sure, there are people out there who think that this was an amazing ending to an amazing show. But those people are wrong. The LOST finale goes down in history as one of the biggest let down of our millennial lives.

Here is a list of some of the other major disappointments:

Darryl Strawberry:

Like the first season of LOST, Strawberry came into the '86 season with almost extra-human abilities. His tall, lanky frame, high leg kick, and mile-long swing could launch home runs into the right field score board at Shea Stadium. Sure, he only hit 27 homers that year, but in the pre-steroid age this was a mammoth accomplishment. Unfortunately, Darryl had a predilication for other types of drugs eventually de-railing his career and sending him off to the LA Dodgers and back to New York and an erstwhile designated hitter for the Yankees in the twilight of his career. Meanwhile, the Mets have not won a World Series since '86.

Jar Jar Binks:

Yes, this idiotic character pretty much epitomizes everything that was wrong with Star Wars and their lame-ass attempt to re-introduce the storied franchise to another generation of tweens and audiences worldwide. Like the classic characters of yesteryear, Binks was a combination of slapstick (C-3PO) special attributes (Chewbacca) cuddle cutesy (Ewoks) and indecipherable speech (R2-D2). But like the entire misguided prequal series this character was neither cute nor funny and to some, at least, even a little racist.


Post-Pinkerton Weezer has to be one of the biggest tragedies for fans of sunshine-y '90s indie rock. On the Blue Album Weezer managed to turn teen-angst, Kiss, and 12-sided die into a triumphant blast of honest and self-deprecating pop tune sing-a-longs. After a short break-up, and a stint at Harvard, Rivers Cuomo turned his nerdy pop punk into an assembly line of static and slightly dickish pop tunes like "Beverly Hills," "Islands in the Sun," and "We are all on Drugs."


Back about 10 years ago we had high hopes for Williamsburg. As undergrads we needed a place with decent bars, just 20-minute drive away from Staten. Artists started moving in, venues would open, Thai restaurants were real effin cheap. The place had all the feel of the Lower East Side without the price, pretentiousness, and over-bearing bouncers. But soon enough Williamburg was bastardized, not only by hipsters but regular ol' Ohio transplants lookin' for a place to shack up in before heading off to graduate school and marrying some douchey law student.


OK, it's a bit early for this, and the guy had a lot to live up to, being the first black president and all. But, we are still in Iraq, Afghanistan is a disaster, gay people can't get married, BP's oil is flooding the Gulf, the only thing we got from the health care debate was a Tea Party, and the biggest economic stimulus went to Goldman Sachs. He's got a couple of years, at least, to turn this shit around but, come on Obama. If grad school doesn't get us a decent job in this crappy economic climate, we just might have to go ahead and vote for Ralph Nader or Ron Paul.

Did we miss anything? What are some of the biggest let-downs of our lives?

1 comment:

  1. Look don't get me wrong but srsly mine is: al queda. back in my late teens I was, Idk jeez I don't wanna say sympathetic but I guess I could've in my wildest dreams been a jihadist. Shit Im drunck. Let me just say that I hate that shit now though. My point is that they missed their window with me.