Tarzan has abandoned his jungle habitat in favor of the front yard of Alla Shchegol’s home...It looks as though this possibly unstable person has added a new statue (aka "Tarzan") to a front lawn already cluttered with all sorts of wild animals which are enticing random passers-by to gawk and nearly cause accidents on an already hard-to-drive narrow, winding hill.
Even Gothamist picked up on this epic story because, hey, it's a guy swinging on a rope(!).
Meanwhile, the Dump has done an investigation and we are pretty sure a big lie has been perpetrated on all the good people of Richmond County.
This it totally NOT Tarzan!
First of all, Tarzan wears a fucking loincloth, this guy is fully-clothed. What is that a freakin button-down? Plus, Tarzan uses primitive tools -- a spear, not a knife. And that rope --- Tarzan swings on a god damned vine people!
This guy on Gothamist is convinced that the statue is Robinson Crusoe. While this individual thinks it may be a pirate.
Whatever it is, be careful when you drive down Todt Hill Road. Some ahole is gonna stop short when he sees this thing and get rear-ended.
In the meantime, we are hoping for a retraction from the Staten Island Advance, followed by a long-form investigative piece that uncovers who this character is because it clearly is not Tarzan.
I think it's a Muslim!
ReplyDeleteIf you read the Tarzan novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs you will discover that Tarzan's first tool was his father's hunting knife, he seldom if ever used a spear, he never swung on vines and the other weapon in his arsenal was his grass rope.
ReplyDeleteBill Hillman
www.ERBzine.com
www.tarzan.com
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