Bill Clinton comes to Staten Island

Bill Clinton and Mike McMahon will be battling each other for which politician has the pastiest white skin.

Srlsy, though, Bill Motherfucking Clinton, the 42nd President of the United States, will be on Staten Island this Friday to rally support for Democratic congressional incumbent and Irish gigolo, Mike McMahon.

The event, held Friday afternoon at Wagner College's Spiro Hall, should help raise McMahon's clout among the mindless Island independents (the ones who keep voting for Bloomberg even though he's mad liberal, and keeps stiffin' the Island.)

We wonder if Team Grimm could pull a president out of their ass?

George W. is in hiding, writing his memoirs. America's mayor, Rudy Giuliani, will likely give his ugly wig a spin around Staten Island to rally support for Grimm, but there is only so many benefits that man can reap off 9/11.

Maybe Grimm could see McMahon's Clinton and raise a... Sarah Palin?

Here's how to get in:

Bieber, Raekwon and ... Antoine Dodson?

It's the collaboration you've been waiting for - so you can say you hate it.

You would think a Justin Bieber song should not begin with the legendary riff from "Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing Ta Fu-- Wit." But, this one does.

Raekwon storms in for a verse, but then the inevitable Biebs arrives, and then Kanye, and well - it's all downhill from there.

Could this be the first song created from crowd-sourcing and social networks? Did the allure of the Biebs trap Rae into this awful collab? Is it the end of an era? Is hip-hop dead?

Well, obviously, Antoine Dodson thinks so:

Ok, well someone who used his meme, but they have a point.

Here's the song:

Filthy South Shore watering hole should close

As details emerge from this weekend's fatal car crash involving teenagers on the South Shore, we learned that the underage kids were drinking at a bar in a deserted strip mall - a shithole dive called The Clubhouse.

Police are reporting that the vehicle was carrying six passengers and a source told the Advance they were traveling "at least 90 mph" down Arthur Kill Road. (Is it possible to do 90 on Arthur Kill?)

It's a tragedy for the families and while the survivors (the two conscious ones) can shed some light on who is responsible for this tragedy they are giving police the silent treatment.

Some people need to take responsibility for this completely avoidable event - a mistake that killed two passengers and could have taken any other innocent victim in its way.

Do not send Guido Paulie on a beer run

Number 1 mistake.

When you run out of beer at the backyard stripper-filled BBQ, don't send Guido Paulie to the store. Guidos can't do anything right, and they'll probably get Coors Light.

As this documentary locally-produced beer commercial shows, parties on Staten Island need beer, and nerds know where to buy it. Wait. Whaaat?

A very plausible Casey Jost look-a-like saves the day in this piece by keeping it Staten and shopping at Bridge Beverage (somewhere on the South Shore). And Guido Paulie - what a dick - gets caught in traffic riding to Jersey.

Moral of the story: effe Jersey. Guidos are dope, but unreliable. Also, Staten Island has hot chics and awesome BBQs.

Don't believe us? Watch the video for yourself:

Staten Island needs more Scott Stringer, less Archie Bunker

Unlike the fossilized goon we have in boro hall, Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer can address a complex issue without insulting innocent bystanders.

Stringer recently went on Fox News to discuss some of the 'August crazy' stories with opportunist flip-flopper Laura Ingraham -- and the debated got real heated, real fast.

"This is your Tea Party friends trying to create an election year issue, and we all know it," Stringer says with a zen-like calm that is unmatched on America's favorite hate channel.

One interesting piece of the convo was how Laura Ingraham completely dismisses the Muslim cab driver story after it's brought up by Stringer.

Now, as Ingraham rightfully says, we "don't know all the facts" but let's do an experiment on this one:

This is a channel that hypes non-stories of Black Panthers, helped Shirley Sherrod get fired, and insists that the President is a black supremacist.

Imagine that it was a Muslim immigrant who slashed an innocent college boy because, well, he's white and 'American.' Do you really think Fox News would let a story like this go, because they "don't know all the facts"??

Drunk guy terrorizes mosque

Really, people? C'mon.

A man terrorized a group of Muslims trying to pray in a Queens mosque last night.

The details are horrific, and embarrassing. As raunchy as this blog can get we won't even re-print them. You can read it here and here if you want.

Point is: enough is enough.

This disturbing information comes on these heels of yesterday's horrific attack on a cab driver and - as mosque haters tried to run from this guy ('he's a left-winger!') - we learn that the attacker actually had a diary with "pretty strong anti-Muslim comments."

This is hatred, plain and simple, boiling over, aided and abetted by those who want to cast this as a 'save America' issue.

Cab driver stabbed for being Muslim

All this heated rhetoric against Muslims has reached a confusing fever pitch, and it's not clear who is terrorizing whom.

Police say that a New York City cab driver was stabbed Monday night by a 21-year-old man who hailed the taxi and allegedly asked, "Are you Muslim?"

When the cab driver responded "Yes" the young (maniac? patriot?) proceeded to slash the gentleman's throat, arm, and lip.

More details will probably emerge from this incident but, as it stands, it looks as if the anti-mosque crowd may have taken a dangerous turn off the crazy cliff.

On Sunday, a guy was shouted down at the Park51 protest because, well, he looked like a Muslim (aka black and wearing skull cap).

Some of this misdirected hatred comes from Staten Island. We told you back in June about Jimmy Soprano. The Midland Beach debacle was aided and abetted by the 'no-comments' from local so-called leaders.

A lot of public officials and news outlets have went out of their way to feed this hatred (Molinaro, Fox News).

Here's what Molinaro wrote about the Park51 mosque:

"It's being put there as a symbol of what they did on 9/11."

Who the fuck are 'they'? The terrorists? The Sufi Muslims? Both? Either Molinaro is a callow idiot or he actually believes the diarrhea coming out of his mouth.

Instead of calling for understanding and reconciliation, the boro pres and others have helped spread this incorrect narrative that the downtown mosque two blocks from ground zero is some sort of tribute to the terrorists -- it's not.

The mosque is run by moderate Sufi Muslims who have been working to integrate Islam with American culture. The Imam worked closely with the Bush Administration on these very issues. Many people are avoiding these facts to exploit the situation for political gain. And it should stop, before more people get hurt.

Jersey blames us for their crappy show

The results are in.

A new Quinnipiac poll tackles the pressing concern about what state is to blame for this returning phenomenon as contagious as an unwanted STD - otherwise known as MTV's reality show 'Jersey Shore.'

One-third of New Jersey residents blame New York for these retarded misfits, and when they say 'New York' you know who they're talkin' about.

Also, more than half of the state finds the show revolting, which would make them about 50 percent right.

"Garden State voters don't like the show and believe it's bad for the state," said some guy in charge of the polling.

By our informal head count three members from this illustrious 'Jersey Shore' cast hail from Staten: Angelina, some douchebag, and some other douchbag.

But all this hard data left us with one burning question:

Why the effe did they conduct a poll on this? Isn't there other problems in this country that need to be addressed and analyzed by the Quinnipiac polling farm?

Bulldozers loom over Cedar Grove

The residents of Cedar Grove Beach Club near New Dorp have six weeks left before the city kicks them out on the street so they can build some sort of crappy beachside park in its place.

Thankfully Cedar Grove has some high-profile local politicians on their side, but it remains to be seen if their action will be enough to save the beleaguered bungalows.

Today Congressman Mike McMahon, Councilman James Oddo, and others pleaded with Mayor Bloomberg to leave those people and their cozy cottages alone:

"The clock is ticking on this and the Cedar Grove residents need [Mayor Bloomberg] to interject his common-sense approach sooner rather than later,” McMahon said in a press release.

The Beach Club is battling the city who currently owns the property. It was ceased during the reign of Robert Moses in the 1950s with the intent of building a highway on the shoreline.

The highway was never built, like a lot of Moses projects, and the property was leased with the understanding that it could be taken back at any time, and apparently that time has come.

Parks commissioner Adrian Benepe said the city will destroy all but two bungalows, which will serve as a snack shack or something.

McMahon and others have called for landmark status for the historic community.

You can visit the Cedar Grove Beach Club Facebook page here.

New Pablo video: 'Wall Street'

Oh look, a new Pablo video.

This Sepia-toned version of 'Wall Street' from a recent (few months ago) performance at the Apple Store in the Staten Island Mall captures a sliver of the performance.

The hollowed out folk tune ruminates on death, careers, and the acquiescence to our better halves, before exploding into a raucous coda. It's Neil Young with a score to settle.

The band will be playing at Spike Hill in Brooklyn next month, and at The Bitter End with The Headlocks in October.

If you haven't heard their album 'There's Rope to Leave' you should be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, and Les Vinyl is playing at the same Apple Store on Thursday.

Fox News exposes evil mosque funder

Fox News has been scaring the crap out of people with the narrative that this 'mosque' downtown - what's it called? - is being funded by some evil oversees people.

The Mornin' News crew at 'Fox and Friends' went on a tirade about a billionaire member of the Saudi Royal Family who is purportedly funding the Park51 project.

But as Jon Stewart points out, rather comically, this 'evil' Saudi man is Alwaleed bin Talal, "one of the biggest stakeholders in Rupert Murdoch's News Corp." (News Corp owns Fox)

What's really curious about this faux news cast is how the Fox crew does not mention his name, it's almost like they want people to hate the guy without finding out who he is, or that he is their boss.

Video after blummp:

Same a-holes behind both the Midland Beach and Park51 mosque protests

Guess what! The same crackpot hate-monger who perpetuated this entire smear campaign against a community center near ground zero, was right here on Staten Island exploiting people's fears in Midland Beach.

A new piece on Salon.com details the rise of the faux-outrage against the fairly innocuous Muslim community center near ground zero.

The center is so innocuous, in fact, that FOX News' Laura Ingraham said the following about the proposed center to the Imam's wife, Daisy Khan, last December:

"I can't find many people who really have a problem with it... I like what you're trying to do."

But then all hell broke loose. But how?

It turns out that all this outrage and misinformation was planted by a right-wing hate-monger, then perpetuated by - big surprise - the NY Post and other Murdoch affiliates.

Of course, there are, as always, people with legitimate concerns, but it has become clear that their fears were exploited by a hate-filled conspiracy theorist who wants to raise her currency in the right-wing blogosphere.

That's right, Pamela Geller of the hate-site Stop Islamization of America fed this garbage about a 'ground zero mosque' to the idiot columnist Andrea Peyser - who then turned it into tabloid gold.

An Island of pill-poppers

Apparently living on Staten Island is more painful than every other county in New York State - except one.

An investigation by the Advance shows that Staten Island easily surpasses the other four boros when it comes to pain killer prescriptions per capita, but rather than treating a problem the medication is being abused by the population.

Out of the 62 counties in New York State only Sullivan County has more pill-poppers per capita - they lived through Woodstock, they can handle it. Over 115,000 Rxs were written for oxycodone on Staten Island in 2009, but as the Advance found out, these aren't just for root canals anymore.

SI Tea Party fav wants to build welfare camps

Virulent racist, SI Tea Party pal, and billionaire candidate for governor of New York, Carl Paladino has an ingenious plan to help poor people in NY State.

The rich real estate developer, who is running against Rick Lazio for the Republican nomination, found a clever way to use empty upstate prisons - house welfare recipients.

"Instead of handing out the welfare checks, we'll teach people how to earn their check," Paladino told the AP. "We'll teach them personal hygiene ... the personal things they don't get when they come from dysfunctional homes," .

The prisons, according to Paladino, would be luxurious accommodations to these poor welfare queens.

What happens when a black guy tries to join the mosque protest?

More than 1,000 patriots settled into lower Manhattan yesterday morning to oppose the building of a Muslim YMCA two blocks away from ground zero.

We're sure Sunday's protest was attended by some well-intentioned people who have legitimate concerns.

But the lynch mob protest turned ugly when a black guy tried to join in on all the fun.

Someone even took video of the whole adventure.

The gentleman, who happens to be a carpenter working at ground zero, walks into the frame to the immediate disapproval of the swarm of white people shouting at him.

The audio is not clear, but you can hear him saying, "I'm not even Muslim."

It's possible that a skull cap and multi-colored necklace are also not allowed two blocks away from ground zero. Has this man any decency?

Video after jump:

Stolen iPod and another hate crime near Port Richmond

The most recent alleged bias attack near Port Richmond occurred Wednesday night when a young man pulled a knife on a Mexican boy and demanded his iPod.

Yashua Plair, a black 17-year-old, was arrested Saturday and charged with a hate crime after a witness to the incident recognized him, and reported it to the police.

The robbery, on N Burgher Ave, was closer to the West Brighton part of town than Port Richmond. It may be that tensions are spreading to outer neighborhoods, eluding the pair of watchtowers, various foot patrols, and - believe it, or not - mounted horses which have been traversing Port Richmond Avenue over the past few months.

The incident elicited the usual response from media outlets, including this headline from a Village Voice blog: 'Yet Another Bias Attack Proves Staten Island Not a Friendly Place.'

No, this latest crime does not taint an entire - mostly peaceful - boro.

The recent attack, though unacceptable, is a far cry from the savage beat down of Rodolfo Olmedo, or the explicitly racist attack on an immigrant chef outside the 7-Eleven on South Avenue a few years back.

Understanding Port Richmond

After a string of attacks against Mexicans in a far-flung neighborhood near the waterfront overlooking Bayonne, the media descended into a place rarely visited, even by Islanders, and played the role of armchair sociologist.

What is Port Richmond? Did the Mexicans just get there? Is all the strife new? Must be due to some recent incident, or a national trend, right?

Well, actually, no. They were almost always wrong.

But a new piece from City Limits puts some much-needed context on the situation. Particularly, with the perspectives of community leaders like Rev. Terry Troia, of Project Hospitality, and Ed Josey, president of Staten Island's NAACP branch.

"There's a negative pulse in the community," Troia told City Limits. "The people committing these crimes hear this negative verbiage, like ‘Oh, these damn Mexicans are taking all the jobs,' and they act impulsively off that buzz."

New cartoon tries to explain mosque debate

Saw this one coming, didn't you?

The most entertaining debate about the Park51 community center comes from an animated version of two guys on the subway, one who happens to be dressed like a superhero.

This YouTube vid is terribly strange, but surprisingly informative, and actually pretty damn funny as well.

'Oh shit. You really do exist,' the character intones after confronted by the talking point machine.

This whole situation has been blown out of proportion - to say the least - but it's damn good to get some comic relief.

Click and enjoy:

Grimm and Giuliani tag team the morning shows

Staten Island's charismatic congressional candidate Mike Grimm and America's Mayor Rudy Giuliani both appeared on television this morning to... preach tolerance and understanding? Tell America to embrace state's rights and freedom of religion?

Nah.

They went to decry the Park51 Muslim community center (aka 'ground zero mosque') as 'divisive' and Grimm even called for a federal investigation into the funding of the project.

Now there's all kinds of political posturing, and election-season maneuvering in these statement (can you imagine how much out-of-state cash Grimm banked after this appearance?) but it's interesting that Mike Grimm called for the feds to investigate the project's funding - something he "knows a lot how to do himself," according to the fawning Fox News host.

The project, estimated to cost $100 Million, may have some money coming from overseas, and when that info comes out, boy, the right wing will have a field day right in Clove Lakes Park.

For instance: imagine if the Park51 project was funded by, let's say, the Qatari government - or even a Qatari government minister personally suspected of harboring al-Qaeda terrorists, including 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

That would be something, right.

Well, maybe you could ask Mr. Giuliani about the Qatari minister because that's exactly who gave his private security company, Giuliani Partners, a multi-million dollar 'consulting' contract:

Are there Juggalos on Staten Island?

You may have heard that there was a Gathering of the Juggalos recently.

What are 'Juggalos,' you say? Well basically, this generation's metal heads, or goths maybe, but with way more abandonment issues.

The Juggalos went ape-shit at this year's concert, throwing bottles and crap at both Tila Tequila and Method Man (guess they only like white rappers).

We were wondering if there were any Juggalos on Staten Island - c'mon there has to be - but weren't sure where to find them.

Our research team came up with a few possible locations. If anyone sees a Juggalo at the following places please let us know.

9/11 'Postcards' monument not vandalized

Ooops!

Looks like those granite slabs that were thought to be ripped off the 9/11 'Postcards' memorial in an act of vandalism, were actually just part of repairs to the monument by the city.

The slots, some now empty, are meant to carry the names of the deceased.

They are being fixed because a homeless crackhead lady hit them with a pipe a while back. And with the 9/11 anniversary coming up, the city thought it might be a good idea to replace them.

"I jumped the gun," Boro President James Molinaro told the Advance. "We all thought it was vandalism."

It seems the Advance jumped the gun also, by snidely insinuating that it could have something to do with the current controversy surrounding the mosque in lower Manhattan.

Blogger exposes ground zero OTB, strip club, Korean BBQ

We hope that's a South Korean BBQ.

A gentleman posted the above map on Tumblr to show that the 'ground zero mosque' is, well, not exactly on ground zero - or even next to it for that matter.

Also, a blogger took some pictures on the blocks surrounding ground zero and found that there is a lot of crap on this supposed 'hallowed ground' - New York Dolls Gentleman's Club, McDonalds, Off-Track Betting, Express Korean BBQ, lots of stands with chintzy tourist crap, and, probably more importantly, a lot of empty retail spaces.

The pictures have been making the rounds on the internets, we just wanted to make a few notes:

-  It's a disgrace that ground zero is still ground zero. How do we not have a building, memorial, or anything there? We hear that there is a lot of wrangling between developers, politicians, and whatnot. Can we find out who those people are and get angry at them?

- Can we stop pretending that the mosque will be a tribute to the terrorists? The Park51 Community Center - which will house the mosque - will also house a "September 11th memorial and quiet contemplation space, open to all." It's hard to argue that a building will 'celebrate' 9/11 when the building will literally pay tribute to 9/11.

Justin Bieber tries to ruin Wu-Tang forever...

Don't do it, Biebs!

Today on the Twitters Kanye West, Justin Bieber, and, apparently Staten Island's own, Raekwon were twattering about maybe, possibly, at some point, doing a song together.

Here's how the convo went via Twitter.

Mr. West:

An I'm honored that you like my Music @JustinBieber!!! You gotta hear the album. Maybe we can do something together. Me, You and Raekwon

The Biebs:

@kanyewest me, u, and the chef 2gether on a song = EPIC. haha. might sound crazy 2 u but even having this convo is living the dream. thanks 

Mr. West:

Yo Ghost and Rae were on one of my favorite Jodeci remixes of all time.. maybe me and Rae should hop on Runaway Love! FLEX would drop bombs! 

Nah. God, No.

Rae did not engage in this 'conversation' via Twitter but did retweet part of it. So I guess that's an acknowledgment, not a tacit endorsement.

Hopefully, this was a normal day for Kanye - acting like an asshole - and nothing more.

Local tweens can use the word 'blowjob' in class

Let the debauchery begin.

A sex ed teacher at IS 72 in New Springville settled her lawsuit with the city after being suspended in 2007 for letting her students use saucy language to discuss sex in class.

Faith Kramer sued the city for $2 million and settled out of court for an undisclosed amount.

Some of the offensive language includes 'hooters' and 'family jewels,' according to the Daily News.

But Gothamist goes further into colloquial euphemisms with words like 'furburger,' 'blow job,' and 'schmeckle.'

We're not exactly sure what a 'furburger' is - one can guess. However, a judge ruled that there was no rules against vulgarism in the class, allowing kids to use their creativity when describing their nether regions.

Ms. Kramer goes back to work in September.

Nine percent of Mike Grimm's money comes from Staten Island

In a long-winded explainer piece that mentions Mark Twain, Franklin Roosevelt, and the 'Greek philosopher' Plato, the Advance gets behind the whole Congressman McMahon /'Jewish money' conspiracy and actually gives us some numbers.

In our own effort at bloviating political philosophy, and summing the story up with historical references, we will point to the 1998 film 'The Big Lebowski:'

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...

That's right, look for the person who will benefit, in this case, from the whole 'Jewish money' debacle: Mike Grimm.

When Mike McMahon's campaign presented the media with the numbers for Mike Grimm's contributions the intention was to show that a lot of his money was coming from outside donors.

But Grimm, in a 'look-the-other-way' type maneuver, grasped onto the unfortunate title 'Jewish money' and tried to make a huge deal out of it - accusing McMahon of anti-semitism and tossing complaints to the FEC.

But by laying out the numbers in today's piece, the Advance gives you one figure you need to know:

9% of Mike Grimm's money comes from Staten Island.

That's compared with 49% of contributions from Staten Island for McMahon. It's no surprise that Grimm tried to divert everyone's attention away from the facts by crying foul and running to the Feds.

And y'all thought Lebowski was just an aging California stoner.

Obama puts it on the line for religious freedom

Last night President Obama said some stuff that will simultaneously cause left-wingers to praise their fearless leader, while making the tea partiers go completely bonkers.

The statements, made at a White House Ramadan celebration, (they have 'em every year) were a forceful defense of freedom of religion and he specifically used the current 'ground zero' controversy as a direct challenge to our unbounded belief that these rights are guaranteed to all Americans - no matter what.

"As a citizen, and as President," he said. "I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as everyone else in this country."

For lefties: they saw the guy they not only voted for, but put their faith in as a principled liberal, devoted to the idea of a brighter, more-diverse 'New American Century.'

For Republicans: It shows his weakness, naivete, or - even worse - some sort of collusion with the terrorists or a secret plan to enact a Taliban-style theocracy in the US - starting with Midland Beach.

Today, some are saying that Obama is 'walking back' from these comments, but the tape doesn't lie - and these remarks had to go through the maze of presidential advisers.

A few things should be noted:

Wahoos Skiffles and Tim Fite in Park Slope

So the Wahoos Skiffles' not-so-secret guest for tonight's show is the quirky indie folk artist Tim Fite - score!

The Wahoo Skiffle Crazies, who have recently released an album called 'Strange Tales of the Amazing Platypus,' have a gig tonight at the Rock Shop in Park Slope.

Their surprise guest - now listed on FB - is all kinds of awesomeness. A prolific folk act, Tim Fite is known for his weirdo lyrics and even more bizarre videos.

As for the Wahoos, they'll be tugging along at least the following instruments over the Verrazano:

Horror shows and Headlocks

Dudes, there's so much rock tonight, as always we try to break it down, without any unfortunate metaphors.

Liedy's Shore Inn - legendary pub on Richmond Terrace. The Headlocks, the island's supergroup will hopefully be showcasing some of those new songs they played at The Cup last week. We love this place because - once an old-school drinking hole for sailors - they haven't upgraded the decor. Also playing, Jazz Funeral.

Cargo - Friday the 13th bash. Dress up like a character from a horror movie, win prizes, drink beer. Surf rockers Captain Ahab and the Sea Crackens play with Yellow Teeth, a reunited '90s punk rock band. $100 bar tab for best costume. Dave Elliot (sp) DJs.

Martini Red - Droning psychedelic rockers In Buenos Aires playing seven-minute songs with projections and all. There's another band playing, but in lieu of making terrible metaphors we'll just say they sound ok. This is a late-night show, for some reason - starting at midnight. Also, those in attendance won't be attacked by a giant jellyfish.

Crazy dude pushes woman onto subway tracks

This is exactly why we can't bring the R Train to Staten Island.

Some crazy lunatic threw a woman off a subway platform into an oncoming R Train, according to a story in the NY Post.

The woman is alive, thankfully, and her assailant said the following when cops asked for identification.

"My name is Osama bin Laden, fuck you!"

The victim suffered broken bones and cuts. The man is being charged with attempted murder.

Good thing Staten Island does not have a subway so miscreants like 'Osama bin Laden' can ride into the boro and wreak havoc.

Guess what boros oppose the ground zero mosque

C'mon, take a guess.

A Marist poll released yesterday outlines the support/oppose positions of various demographics when comes to the ground zero mosque, er... Park51 Community Center.

The layout is predictable: 74% of Republicans oppose, 71% of Jews oppose, also White Catholics oppose 74%.

In fact, the only category in favor of the Islamic Comnunity Center is Manhattanites -- 53% in favor to o 31% oppose.

That's a pretty wide margin, especially for the people who may actually benefit from this multi-million dollar center, which is modeled after the uptown YMCA, and will be run by an extremely liberal strain of Sufi Muslims who have also, coincidentally, worked in the past on spreading moderate Islam and promoting women's rights throughout the world.

But enough of that factual shit - 9/11!! Terrorists!! Sharia Law!! Hummus!

When the Marist poll breaks it down by boro the opposition goes heavily against the community center in, you guessed it, Staten Island.

Jersey Shore Halloween costumes look familiar

There are 'Jersey Shore' Halloween costumes on sale NOW -- which is ridiculous -- but it's amazing how similar they are to pretty much regular clothes people buy at the Staten Island Mall.

In fact, if your from Staten Island, just go over to your Facebook page and any one of those 'friends' you never spoke to in high school probably looks exactly like this.

There's a deluxe costume, which is pretty the same thing except a bit douchier. But the 'costumes' really look like outerwear for South Shore residents who frequent the Buddha Lounge.

There's a completely separate category for the Snooki costume, because -- has anyone noticed -- 80 percent of girls on Staten Island are dressing like Snooki now for some reason.

Idyllic Beach Club now site for future keggers

At some point in the near future the city will turn a picturesque New Dorp beach community into a row of demolished bungalows and garbage strewn sands.

The land, settled by the residents for like 100 years, was purchased by the city in the '50s when Robert Moses made an over-ambitious plan to build a parkway on the shoreline.

When the plan dissolved, the residents were told they could lease the property but that it could be taken away at any time.

Apparently, that time has come.

"They’ve had many seasons of using public property for private use," parks commissioner Adrian Benepe told the Times. "This is public land, it belongs to the public, and we want to return it to the public."

But what exactly will the city do with this beatific cottage community when it returns to the 'public'? The rest of the surrounding shoreline simply looks like shit.

If the city neglects the land - after tearing down all but four cottages - it will become another filthy ghost hole where teenagers go to smoke weed (not that there's anything wrong with that).

The residents do have local officials on their side, and a Facebook page, but if you listen to Benepe it doesn't sound good.

Do Staten Islanders love Scott LoBaido?

That's the premise of today's Advance piece.

Don't know who Scott LoBaido is?

Two words: American flags.

They are plastered all over the Island, sort of like living in North Korea, with LoBaido replacing Kim Jong-il as the almighty deity.

Now, he seems like a nice guy and all, but branding our entire Island as obsequious to his brand of uber-patriot art is a crude generalization at best, if not downright incorrect.

It all started when LoBaido made his initial mark on the New York City art scene by dragging a bag of horse shit to the Brooklyn Museum and proceeding to fling it at the public institution in protest of its Virgin Mary 'elephant dung' image - pretty cool, maybe, illegal, probably, exhibitionist, definitely.

He then crusaded against Mayor Bloomberg's effort to ban smoking in bars because (what heavy-drinking, cigarette smoker doesn't agree with this position) he likes to smoke in bars.

LoBaido's latest permanent stamp on Staten Island has been his ubiquitous American Flags - they're fucking everywhere. And the 'artwork' is so ingrained in our local culture that any other imagery seems to evoke the ire of local firefighters.

The Advance has embraced this patriot artist as representing the best and brightest of Staten Island. Documenting his every move like a local celebrity.

Why? What has he done for SI expect turn the boro into a Republican stereotype?

Jon Stewart cups Staten Island

Jon Stewart thinks Staten Island resembles a certain body part.

Try to guess what it is.

During last night's obligatory 'let's-make-fun-of-mosque-protestors' segment Jon Stewart took a swipe at Staten Island, noting is geographic shape and similarities to body organs.

While trying to explain that Staten Island is a part of New York (around 3:10) Stewart makes the following statement:

'Alright, I get it, technically Staten Island is a part of New York City...theee... ahh...'

Stewart cups his hands in a 'turn left and cough' motion that us males remember from our high school physical days. 

Well, we guess ball sack is better than the armpit like, Far Rockaway (love you Queens!).

The Ground Zero Mosque country song

It's almost as bad as 'Proud To Be An American.'

Some crappy country singer has joined forces with, idk, Terrible Tim's video editor to make this horrifically funny video. (check out the '80s effects around 1:00)

Watching this actually kind of makes us feel a little bad for the anti-mosque folk.

Do people really have this Pollyanna-ish view of America? Apple pie, 'Leave it to Beaver,' American flags, and Ground Zero?

Watch the video after jump:

Local pub appeases FDNY - then pisses off FDNY

The has been much chatter in the internets about a certain establishment which painted over a certain mural which depicted a certain scene that was misconstrued by certain people.

The events are well-documented here, and followed up here.

The image, now long-gone, was captured by this artist. (We believe some work should be paid for.)

The story appeared to be clear-cut: FDNY didn't like the artwork, bar decided not to go to the mats with the FDNY, the artwork was removed.

This is completely a understandable turn-of-events. As a local business owner, whether you like it or not, you need to play ball with the local authorities.

Of course free, or even offensive speech, is allowed all you want, however, doling out citations for frivolous offenses is also well within the means of the FDNY, Health Dept. etc.

“You’ve got to pick your battles,” the owner said.

Meet the guy who wrote the book on Stapleton

There is a book singing tomorrow at Snug Harbor to celebrate the release of 'Stapleton' by James Ferreri and David Goldfarb.

The book looks at the history of Stapleton, from its purchase it 1832 to the influx of German immigrants and large brewing industry in the historic neighborhood. But nothing about the Wu Tang Clan?

You can pick up the book at tomorrow's signing.

We can't wait to meet the authors of one of our favorite Staten Island neighborhoods and find out why Ghostface was not included in this epic tome.

The explosive anti-ground zero mosque ad

The MTA approved a milder version of this explosive anti-mosque ad. The newer version does not include the plane or the fire, which kind of ruins the propaganda aspect, but whatever.

The ad is funded by Stop Islamization of America - that same media whore who riled up the local yokels in Midland Beach with visions of horror and fear about Sharia Law coming to the shores of Staten Island.

With so many high profile politicians coming out against the 'ground zero mosque' (which is actually called Park51 and is, like, two blocks from ground zero) we wonder if the SIOA isn't being funded by the very politicians whose interest lie in keeping this issue in the news.

But that's crazy talk, right? How would they figure out how to donate to this organization anyway? It's not like they're begging for money or anything.

Weezer tries to bring back the 'Memories'

Weezer sure takes the cake when it comes to ridiculous album covers.

The band released their new song and LOST-themed 'Hurley' cover art, in yet another attempt to grab that mid-'90s magic.

Except this time, in 2010, they may be closer then ever to that glorious decade.

Somewhere around 'Island in the Sun' Weezer had become a faint ghost of what they once were. And sometimes, it seemed, the band was playing characters of themselves, like a tribute band - but a tribute to Weezer.

The last effort, 'Raditude,' made the meme rounds with a similar combo of name/silly cover art, and they may have upped the anti here with 'Hurley.'

'Memories,' our first peak at the new album, is much of what it's moniker promises - filling us with visions of hacky sacks and a time when 'Audioslave was still Rage' Against the Machine. We have to agree: those were better times.

There are a lot of haters when it comes to Weezer. There's also a lot of people who say the haters are whiny, old complainers. You can listen below and decide for yourself.

Weezer - Memories by Hypetrak

If your wanna exploit Staten Island, you have to dress like a drag queen

State Senator Diane Savino and Assemblyman Matthew Titone really gave it to Ruben Diaz Sr. today after his attempt to exploit the local Hispanic community by showing up to feign his outrage against the attacks on Mexicans.

In fact, Titone pulled out a wig and high heels and said the following:

"If you’re going to act like a media whore on Staten Island, please have the courtesy to dress like one."

According to Capital Tonight, what really set off Titone was that local LGBT activists where told by Diaz's office that their participation in the event was not "necessary or welcome." Ouch.

This makes Titone's stunt all the more appropriate, as we don't need any one else coming here to score political points and using the victimized local community in an effort to repair their political reputation.

If only Titone could stop MTV from filming that Staten Island version of 'Jersey Shore.'

Deficit hawks still want their Bush Tax Cuts

The common refrain from the right on government spending is that the Obama administration is bankrupting the country through expensive social programs and fiscal naivete.

But now that the mammoth Bush tax cuts are set to expire - giving the rich a run for their money - frightened Republicans are sounding the alarm bells and clinging to their precious stacks of ducats

Appearing on 'Meet the Press' Sunday, Republican House Leader John Boehner gave his defense of extending the tax cuts with the rationale that they were necessary to prevent a 'double dip' recession.

A valid point, maybe, but remember these are the same Republicans that fought tooth and well-manicured nail to keep much-needed assistance from reaching the unemployment with the argument that - get this - we couldn't afford to extend unemployment benefits.

Staten Islanders needs to stop blaring these songs out their car windows

Please, this madness has to stop.

It's coming on mid-August and the summer's been long, hot, and poorly soundtracked. Living on a busy intersection only amplifies these problems.

You see, everyone in Staten Island drives, which means that you hear the same crap coming out of people's car windows non-stop - like a 24/7 version of that scene in 'Clockwork Orange,'

Here are some candidates we'd like to see retired immediately: